Caption Contest

December 10, 2006: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Lois: Who are you?
Oliver: A friend.

All Superman fans start wailing in terror.

And the runner-ups:

Lois: Is that an arrow in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Oliver: A little from Column A, a little from Column B.

Oliver: Queen. Ollie Queen.

Lois: That really. Really. Does not work with your name.

Oliver: Gosh, Lois, that plastic surgeon's done wonders!
Lois: Eyes up here, buddy.
Oliver: Gosh, Lois, that plastic surgeon's done wonders!

Three of the biggest boobs in Hollywood.

Lois: You know what youd look good in? A beard.

Second place.

Ollie: (softly) Hey, Lois...
Lois: (seductively) Yes...?
Ollie: (softly) There's toilet paper on your shoe.

Lois: I know your secret!

Oliver: What secret?

Lois: Well, let's just say, you wear green, ride a motorcycle and you have an interesting array of weapons!

Oliver: Alright, you got me. I'm really the Green..

Lois: ..Power Ranger! Ha! I knew it! Where are the others? The Red guy around? Rrrowrr!!

Not the winner, but the man knows how to pander to the right demographic.

We're perfect for each other, Lois. I'm sharp as an arrow and you're as sharp as a tack.

Oliver: Lois... you really need to stop calling me Green Olive...
Lois: Why? Because it corrolates to your other persona that you use at night?
Oliver: Yes! I mean... wait, how'd you know that?
Lois: ummm... like I didn't see you in all green at that costume ball... i'd have to be an idiot not to recognize you. what next? Some guy will try to fool me by wearing only glasses and slouching? please....


Lois: Nuh uh... you are not licking me again.

Ace Ventura: She's on to me!

Lois: Oliver, I've got to ask you a question. Who are those guys in the color coordinated outfits I saw you and Clark walking in slow motion with as a refinery exploded behind you?

Ollie: Oh. Um...we're, ah, we're...Power Rangers.

Lois: Oh. Eww.

...(puts rancid yogurt in sneakymonkey's stocking)

Oliver: So, did you come here with friends?

Lois: Yes. Let's see, that's my cousin, Chloe, over there. She's really smart. She's always making these obscure cultural references that would make you swear a thirty five year old white male television writer was putting words in her mouth. That terrier on her leg is her boyfriend Jimmy.

That guy over there subtly crushing a door knob with his bare hands and breaking into that broom closet is Clark. Nice kid. Kinda dumb.

And that really thin girl over there is Lana. She's thin like that because she's so self absorbed that she's on the verge of imploding and creating a black hole that will suck this entire show into a vortex of amazingness.

Oliver: Wow...interesting group.

Lois: You think they're strange, don't you?

Oliver: Not at all. Let me introduce you to my buddies. This is fast guy, fish guy, and half robot man...

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