Caption Contest

April 22, 2007: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Martha: Isn't life crazy? Who would've thought we'd end up together?

Lionel: Yes, it does seem strange, what with me trying to kill your son all those years, and being indirectly responsible for your first husband's death.

Martha: You know what they say. Love is never having to say you're sorry.

Lionel (chortling): Oh Martha! You're so delightfully retarded!

And the runner-ups:

Before their nuptials, it was decided that Martha would take Lionel's last name, but she would hyphenate with Kent as well as adding back her maiden name, making her full name Martha Judas-Kent-Luthor.

I know where Neal got this picture. Just enter "Icky" into the search engine on

A T-Mobile commercial gone seriously wrong.

Prior to Reckoning, Jonathan really should have checked out who was in Martha's five.

Wow. Remember that episode where Jonathan found the inscribed watch Lionel gave Martha hidden in a sock drawer? And how she insisted it was nothing, and she just didn't want him to get jealous so she hid it? Yeah. Looks like she lied.

Lionel: Second marriages are never easy.

Martha: Especially with children involved. Hey, you two! Behave!

(Cut to Lex in battlesuit shouting orders at his private army, as Clark advances, tossing soldiers left and right, heat visioning machine gun nests, as bullets bounce off of him.)

Lionel: Boys, if I have to come down there, you're going to be sorry!

You could tell things were getting serious when Lionel bought them "His" and "Hers" Yarises. (What's the plural? Yari? Yarisees? Ah, screw it...)

Martha: Why, Lionel, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Lionel: It's a gun, and I'm here to kill you.

Lionel: Your son wants my son's wife.

Martha: Your son wants my son dead.

Lionel: Touché.

Martha: You hear something?

Lionel: I think that's Jonathan rolling in his grave.

Martha: Oh, that cheeky rascal!

Gough: You see, Annette, after the President dies in the season finale, you'll be the Acting President because you're a State Senator from Kansas!

O'Toole: You have no clue how government works, do you?


O'Toole: Oh, that's it!!! *starts beating Al Gough*

Glover: *sees audience* Urm... STAY TUNED!!!

Real, mature relationships require compromise.

For instance, Martha Kent had to learn to rein in her strong moral convictions and learn to function in a more ethically "gray" atmosphere, sometimes even turning a blind eye to actions that oppose everything she and her family have stood for these last twenty years.

And Lionel, for his part, got a hair cut.

Neal Bailey has the same picture framed at home, except with his head photoshopped in.

I can't believe no one's made the joke yet...but...


For the record, folks, this is what made Superman of Earth-2 bust his way out of "Heaven."

Just for this, the Guardians add fifty years onto Superboy-Prime's sentence.

(Neal recieves his letter from DC about his upcoming work in Smallville magazine, complete with this picture. He turns it over to reveal a note...)

Good day, Agent Bailey. Your mssion, if you choose to accept it, is to find a logical method of undoing the pictured continuity discrepancy within the Smallville Universe. Upon the discover of such a method, you are to implement it as best as possible. Good luck, Bailey. The hopes and dreams of thousands of fans are depending on you. This message will retcon in 5 seconds.

Neal: (looks up) Retcon? What the...

(He looks downat the message again - only to find himself holding a Palm Pilot with the message on it)

Neal: Cool....

Pennywise takes on a new form in order to finally get back at Bevvie Marsh.

Oooh! Good reference.

super surfer
And now, here are the creators of the anti-particle, anti-higg, boson, muon, tau lepton diet, Dr. Lionel Luthor and Dr. Martha Luthor!

John: Well, I've been in many movies, I starred in hit movies like "Batman and Robin," and have continued to act in popular fare like "Law and Order," and "In the Mouth of Madness."
Interviewer: And you, Annette?
Annette: Um... well ...I'm married to the dude from Spinal Tap.

Every night, she goes to 11.

Martha: You realize that hand will never touch anything ever again, yes?
Lionel: Worth it.




Lionel: Sorry.

Al Gough: Wow, this new writer is really working out well.
Miles Miller: Yeah?
Al: So far, he's given us the Isobel storyline, Clark's time-travel trade of Lana's life for Pa Kent's, and the Martha - Lionel romance. Oh, and the Tori Spelling episode. I just wish he was a little more orthodox.
Miles: What do you mean?
Al: Well, instead of emailing his ideas in like everyone else, he just walks into my-
(Suddenly, the door to Al's office swings open)
Starman: JOR-EL IS SOAP!

Oooh! BETTER reference.

Side note:

I would like to thank Steve Younis for the current poll on the Superman Homepage, which asks fans to choose the most annyoing Superman mythos character from Otis, Lenny Luthor, and Smallville's Lana Lang. That just made my day.


Glover: Have you ever had a song stuck in your head that you can't get out?

Annette: Once or twice... Mah nah Mah nah

Glover: Do DOO Do do do...ARGH! You vile beast!!

Wild Bill
The Todd: "Lionel. Machiavellian five."


Clark knew it was bad when his mom changed her Facebook relationship status from "Single" to "It's Complicated" with "Lionel Luthor."

Martha: Lionel, you got a haircut!
Lionel: Yes, it was for Lex. He said he wanted hair. He definitely wanted hair.

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