Caption Contest

October 8, 2006: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Season 6's new superpower: Clark discovers that, if he squints really, really hard, he can almost make out some semblance of a plot.

And the runner-ups:

After hearing that Tori Spelling would be appearing on the show later this season, Tom Welling exiled himself to the desert for several months.

After c lark has been walking the dessert for what seemed like weeks...he sees the one thing that truly brings his spirit and hopes crashing...

Clark : did you get here ??

Clark: I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain...

Gough from off-screen: We did it! We got Tori Spelling!

Clark: Ah, screw it. I want my mommy!

super surfer
Chlark: Wait a minute! I've got a hot chick here, and Lana's nowhere in sight. Why the hell would I WANT to leave the Phantom Zone?!

Great. Leopard Roberts as Nam-Ek gets killed so he can head on over to "Heroes" on NBC, where they have cool things like "continuity" and "characterization" and "humor." And I get stuck on "Smallville" for another two years.

Wait, he was actually named NAMEK?! Oh crud... I think Funimation's trademark lawyer's hovering overhead with an energy bomb... RUN AWAY!!!!!

super surfer
Al and Miles: We have intelligence that the individual pictured here is developing weapons of mass continuity and is therefore highly dangerous.

super surfer
(The phone rings.)
Chloe: Hello?
Clark: Chloe. It's Clark. I need your help.
Chloe: What's wrong?
Clark: I sneezed and blasted myself all the way to Yemen! Chloe? Chloe! Stop laughing and help me!
(Chloe composes herself.)
Chloe: Ok. (giggle) Can you fly yet?
Clark: No.
Chloe: Do you have air fare and a passport?
Clark: No.
Chloe: Then here's what to do; (giggle) Make sure you're pointed in the right direction, and (snicker) work up another sneeze!
(Chloe rolls on the floor laughing.)

After much rumor and speculation, Clark finally reveals to the world how his friends get that much gas despite being poor college students.

Tom: Behold, Clarence of Arabia!
Rosenbaum: You're no Peter O'Toole, Tom.
Tom: Tha's true. Urp. But I am drunk.

Clark: What a desolate wasteland! Devoid of any life, or color or vitality! Just vast, empty nothingness for miles!

Raya: Welcome to the Smallville writers' staff meeting, Kal-El.

Clark comes upon a bunring bush.
Deep Voice: Kal-El. Kal-El.
Clark: Who are you?
Deep Voice: It is I. I have called you to lead your show into a land. A land of good plots and decent acting.
Clark: What is your name? What if they ask who sent you?
Deep Voice: Tell them my name is Brando. Tell them that Brando has sent me to you.

super surfer


Clark: Yep. Tastes like sand.

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