Caption Contest

August 18, 2005: Caption Contest

Caption COMPETITIONCaption Competition

Reed: Of course, you are gigantic, Galactus, but you're fairly trim for a guy your size. What's your secret? Galactus: I watch my carbs. Whenever I devour a planet, I never eat the crust.

Second place ties:

neal bailey
Wait a minute, I thought the joke started with the invisible man, and not Reed, but Wonder Woman, and then....wait a minute. What's that giant hand doing?


Come back, Lord Bailey! I wish to trade Australia for New Zealand! They film Rangers there now!

Why are they smiling? Galactus is behind you, you morons! Look behind you!

Last time I won, Aaron made fun of me for saying how pathetic I was for not dating anyone (and finding that purple parasite hot). I'd like to point out that I am actually dating again, but for some reason I still think that Sue Storm is hot.

Is that weird?

No, that's GOOD TASTE. Just remember, she's married with two kids and still smells faintly of Chris Claremont. If you can handle all that, you're golden.

Reed: Should we tell him that he's going to be written by Azzarello for a year?

Sue: No, dear. Being golden and naked for most of this teamup was traumitizing enough.

Torch: Don't forget how Galactus made him floss those giant teeth.

Thing: Or havin' ta scrub the Ultimate Flushifier.

Reed: ...We should warn him before he suffers any more.

Torch: Whoops. Too late. Hey, what's this Infinite Crisis thing coming?

Reed: ...Be grateful we're in another universe.

I'm seriously crying myself to sleep tonight Aaron. Seriously.

There there... (pats SupesAF on the back, places "kick me" sign on his back carefully)

Wild Bill
Superman's words say "I'm gonna kick Galactus' @$$" but his expression says "that dude has some really funky looking eyes".

Gough & Millar tried to sell their original story for a Marvel/DC Crossover. "Okay, you see, we'll show that Galactus is really...Superman's father! He sent his son to Earth in some weird crystalline ship, where he'll grow up to be a moping teenager. But then we'll reveal that Galactus shrunk himself down, took on an American accent, and secretly came to Earth back in the 50's and felll in love with Lana Lang's ancestor who looks just like her, but he had to leave. And then he'll put his brain patterns in a computer (but give it a British accent for some reason) and save it on Earth ummm...sometime. And then he'll hide three Kryptonian artifacts on Earth (again, before or after he was there on the 50s - no idea but it's GOLD, baby, GOLD!) that either gives humans powers or saves them from meteor showers or will threaten my son or help him or something. And then the Fantastic Four will show up and...what do you mean, it's a stupid idea?!? Oh well, maybe we can sell it to some unsuspecting Wonderfully Blessed network..."

Galactus: And I will turn him gold and he will be my herald and I will hug him and pet him and love him and squeeze him and call him George÷ Superman (high-pitched): Yipe!

Coming Soon from Neil Bailey: The Fantastic 4 homepage. If you thought his Smallville reviews were insulting, just wait...

You can just see Superman thinking, as he flies away, Cripes, I actually found a stretching guy lamer then Elastic Lad, Elongated Man, and Plastic Man.

Wild Bill
With a blast of heat vision, Superman incinerated a canister containing the original prints of the entire 4th season of Smallville. And there was much rejoicing.

Galactus: Uuurp! Excuse me! Man, Karoven Outpost-35 is just not agreeing with me! I need some Pepto.

Yep, SneakyMonkey's sucking up to me this week with a wonderful Ranger ref. Bravo, my friend. Bravo. It's brains like this that win. Now where's that twenty you promised me? (J/K)

The Fantastic Four were just about to summon their Dino Zords, when Superman flies in and destroys Galactus.

And then there's incredibly BAD attempts like THIS, that earn the Stinky Sock Award. Learn from Legacy, friends. Do not do as he does. That way lies rancid dairy footwear.

And as 200 people comment on Superman, Johnny, Franklin, or a combination of all one notices Ben's really tight underwear, Johnny's bulge, and their really happy faces that are not looking at Superman

And ever since I read this caption, I've had the theme to "Three's Company" ringing in my head. Darn you. I don't even LIKE John Ritter!

Galactus: You are doomed, Kryptonian!
Superman: So you think you're to devour me, eh? Well, I won't be that easy of a meal!
Galactus: That's not what I meant. I just read all the Smallville Season 5 spoilers on the Internet! Superman: (Silence)
Galactus: Doomed!
Superman: Shut up!

Second place. Easily. Sneaky made all three of my favorites this week.

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