Caption Contest

December 3, 2004 Caption Contest

Gislef with:
Lex: And here at Crazy Lex's, I've got prices that are INSANE!!

Runners-up were:

Lex: I... don't uynderstand... I only posted one picture of a tractormodel, and the next thing I knew, I was here. Lionel: Where did you post it? Lex: The Superman Homepage. Lionel: THAT explains a lot.

How much is that loony in the window? WOOP WOOP! The one with the shiny bald pate?

Tell me, Lex - have the lambs stopped screaming?

Lional: "I have been...and always will be...your friend!!" Lex: "Are you out of your Vulcan-mind!?!"

I know I haven't really been much of a father to you, Lex... but tell me honestly... Does this look infected to you?

Lex: I don't understand... all I did was say Lana interested me and then all of a sudden these men in white coats showed up... Lionel: You got off easy. Did you SEE what happened to Pete Ross a few contests back?

Lionel: And you're not coming out of there until you've grown red hair all over your head and can fake an Australian accent! Lex: Crikey!

Oh Billy!!!!

Lex: The ship...out of danger? Lionel: You saved the ship, Lex!

jimmy mac
Lionel: "How do my fingerNEALs look?" Lex: "I can BAILEY see them through this glass." (Hey, can kissing up work twice in a row? Tune in next week to find out)

(Nope. Didn't work...)

jimmy mac
Lex: "Master is Smeagol's friend. (switch of camera angle) You have no friends."

All right, doctor. Begin the unnecessarily slow "Drug my son, lock him up after a few weeks, and eventually use electo-shock to wipe his brain after a few more weeks" scheme rather then just shoot the little twerp. Then I'm going to head back to the manor and just assume it all went to plan. What?

I have an even better idea. I'm going to place Lex in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic scheme to drive my son insane, while that Clark Kent kid is around.


(HAH! Thank you, another literary reference. Bwa hah!)

jimmy mac
Lex: "Do you expect me to talk?" Lionel: "NO, Mr. Bald - I expect you to DIE!"

Lionel: Lex, you know what I told you about "Milking Tractors" Jokes. Lex: But Dad, I was only kidding! Lionel: Why Lex, it's a natural progression: first a warning, then you're banned, now this. I'll be back in one month's time, 30 days, and I hope you've learned your lesson by then. Lex: DAD! You can't be serious! Lionel: Oh, I'm serious -- you don't play with the good people at the Superman Homepage. . . . Oh, and one more thing: When you see a link to send an old-lady a birthday greeting -- whether it's "Lois Lane" or Mrs. John Q. Smith -- do the proper thing and wish her a happy birthday!

(Dang right. HUH! (with a thrust))

Lex: So how long do you think the Superman Homepage is gonna leave us up here? Lionel: I don't know. Could be a while. Lex: I hope not. I don't wanna be stuck in this stupid straight-jacket for two weeks! Lionel: You think you have it tough? Think about Darkseid! He had to keep his arm raised for two weeks holding Superman and he had to maintain that stupid grin on his face. Lex: Yeah, well at least he got so show off his pearly whites.

jimmy mac
(Hmmmm... Neal likes Steinbeck, eh? Let's see then...)

jimmy mac
Lionel: "I got to ask you - you ain't mad, Son? You ain't poisoned mad? You don't hate nobody? They didn't do nothin' to you in that jail to rot you out with crazy mad? They can hurt a man an' purt soon he's mean-mad. He ain't no boy or no man no more, he's just a walkin' chunck o' mean-mad. Did they make you mad like that? Lex: "No, Pa... I ain't so mad..." Lionel: "Pu-raise Gawd for vittory!!!"

(Yes, I do like Steinbeck, but only when it involves rabbit slaughter or literary devices...still, worth an honerable mention)

jimmy mac
Lionel: "What happened to you, son?" Lex: "Well, one SWEET THURSDAY during my TRAVELS WITH CHARLEY, I was riding PEARL, you know, THE RED PONY you gave me. We were going through THE LONG VALLEY - you know the one EAST OF EDEN on the way to THE SEA OF CORTEZ? We were talking of all sorts of things, you know, OF MICE AND MEN, of history - like THE SHORT REIGN OF PIPPIN IV and THE ACTS OF KING ARTHUR AND HIS NOBLE KNIGHTS.... all kind of things. Well, we stopped ON THE ROAD (ooops - that's Kerouac) to eat. I had pulled out my lunch bag, poured myself a CUP OF GOLD-blend coffee, when suddenly THE WAYWARD BUS from CANNERY ROW almost hit us! In fact it squashed my TORTILLA FLAT. Whew! I said a quick prayer TO A GOD UNKNOWN. I was angry, but I stored up my GRAPES OF WRATH for later. By the time we got home I saw that THE MOON IS DOWN. And that's when THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT began." Lionel: "Um. Yeah. But what happened to you?"

(This one, however, is just awesome. ;) )

Lex: Neal has a message for you... BOODILY!

Jimmy Mac as Lionel looking at Hatman as Lex: Jimmy Mac: I told you I would win the caption contest even if it did take me 20 times more entries than anyone else. Hatman: I'll get it this time if I can get my fingers free to type.

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