Caption Contest

August 11, 2005: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Cover to Superman/Batman: House of M#1

Second place ties:

What the WB's Birds of Prey would have been like if Gough & Millar produced it. "Starring Lana Lang as...Supergirl!"

DC's newest maxi-series, "Infinite Fashion Crisis," proved less than successful. It did give them a chance to reboot the Batman and Superman comics yet again, though.

Superlad: Hey, if my dad can fly around golden and naked, =I= can run around looking stupid, too!

Superlad: Hey, are you Barbara Gordon?

Batgirl: No, I'm a new Batgirl and-

Superlad: shutup.

Batgirl: But I'm new and-

Superlad: Don't care.

Supergirl: Well, I'm not Kara or Linda, but I'm-

Superlad: And I'll get to YOU in a moment.

After 16 years, Mike finally outdoes Billie Joe in the latest Green Day promo shots.

Referencing Green Day is SO cheating. You know I wrote an American Idiot script, didn't you? But then again, cheaters do tend to prosper... ;)

Superman: Bruce, why did you loan that girl your costume?

Batman: I'm testing her to see if she's worthy of the mantle.

Superman: ...How did you get the suit to fit her so quickly?

Batman: ...Ummm... Unstable Molecules?

Superman: Wrong universe. That reference won't work this week.

Batman: Oh. Just had it lying around in case I'm ever mutated into a woman?

Superman: ...And why does THAT girl haver a form fitting version of MY costume?

Batman: ...YOINK! (bolts)

Their muscles - they are bulbous. This is the time on Sprockets when we Dance!!!


MMM BOP do do bah ooombop


Neal Bailey and the Superman/Batman Singers.

And I-e-I, will always, luuuuuuhhhhhhve poo.

Eddie: Jesus, Jeph, which kind of kryptonite are we blaming this on? Black? Crystal? Aquamarine?


Monty Python, that won't work...
Smallville reference...who hasn't done that...
Family Guy, Neal doesn't watch that...
Tractor milking reference...naw, not really much there...
Old Spice: Red Zone old it's got mold...
Superman Returns/Kate Bosworth's forehead reference...potentially...
Superman II reference...hmmm, this could work...

Superlad: The closer we come to appearing in a story ark...a Superman/Batman story ark...the more our mental density gives us a chance of our own television series.

Supergirl: Our fathers came from there. From the planet called Doubleyou-Bee.

Superlad: Then we will go there. To rule the 8pm Thursday timeslot...finally, to rule.

Well done, JasonSpidey, ruler of Australia. (Sorry, Steve).

(old batman theme) Na na na na na na na na na FRAT MAN!!

With all the new DC movies coming out, this is just another example of people going all "Hollywood" on us. Supergirl chops her hair off and dyes it black. Superman one ups her with a new wardrobe and getting his tips frosted. Batman, never one to be outdone, starts wearing makeup and has an ill-advised breast-augmentation.

And there's nothing more frightening than having one of your role models for a father figure grow breasts...I mean, how freaky is that, huh?

In an attempt to garner readers, The New Patriot, Miss Freedom, and Lora Baiting clothe themselves in more easily recognizeable costumes, only to find themselves slapped down by an onslaught of lawsuits even their powers cannot withstand.

(Hey, I'm a suckup. )

OH MY GOD! BEST CAPTION EVER! If I could make this the winner without being stripped of my position, by Rao, I would! As it is, those scratching your heads can go to NEALBAILEY.COM and figure out why this is funny in the comic section. WOO! An excuse to plug. You may now replace Non. You have proven yourself... useful! ;) In all seriousness though, he is kind of a shoe-in for New Patriot, isn't he?

Jon Peters: "And...and Superman can have two kids! And he'll die in the first ten minutes, and then his kids have to join forces with Batman's daughter in order to bring their parents back to life and stop the giagantic gay Jimmy Olsen robot terrorizing the city-"
Bryan Singer: "I, I don' do you still have a job producing these movies?"
Peters: "Let's just say it involves Ted Turner, a tractor, and some pictures they don't want the public to see."

Honestly, does this picture need a punchline to be funny? I say no. In that respect, I will instead submit a set-up. Three Superhero wanna-be's walk into a bar. Let's say for the sake of arguing, that bar is called "The Blue Oyster" and most of them are really well received by the guys dancing inside...

Ooooh. Police Academy! That's OBSCURE. And coming from me, that's a badge of honor....Will you still love me tomorrow?

Captain Backfir3
Batgirl/Supergirl: TO THE BATHROOM!

*swirling and zooming bat-logo*


Superlad: Mission accomplished gang.

That is...that is just the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. And his name is Captain Backfire. It is simultaneously awesome and deplorable. My head has exploded.

Superman: I'll still never understand how my son ended up with blonde hair. (Aquaman walks away quickly, whistling.)

VERY close to being the winner.

Unfortunately for action fans, nine out of ten confrontations this group has with supervillains are resolved with dance-offs.

Heh. Jeph Loeb just got served. Now it's on.

(Bruce Wayne throws the caption picture on Clark Kent's desk at the Daily Planet.) Bruce: I knew you would want proof before I addressed the issue with you, so I tailed the kids while they were out on patrol last night. I took this photo. Clark: My God. Is this what I think it is? Bruce: That's right. They're crimefighting while on Anime. And not the Akira grade stuff, the cheap stuff, the kind that makes your nose disappear when you laugh. Clark: I had no idea it had come to this! Bruce: It always seems harmless enough in the beginning. Special fighting styles nobody's heard of, ridiculously overblown power ups with three word names that don't make sense in English. But at what cost? Soon you're morphing into a spritely, androgynous, over-expressive chatterbox that would give the most Ritalin deprived child pause. As potent and addictive as Venom. Only much more÷cuddly.

Seeing the success of Marvel's Exiles, DC decide to do something similar.

DC claim victory when the Exiles team die laughing when they see the DC team TRANS-dimensonal Super-Duper-People!

Duke, Lady Jay, and Scarlet, trying new ways to battle Cobra

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