Caption Contest

March 23, 2005: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

I apologize for missing last week's contest. I was beaten by a giant bunny, who said something about forsaking good humor in my judgement...or something. Actually, I took a two day break, given that Smallville's about to amp up, and then plumb forgot. And by then, it was Saturday, and I figured....too late. So I just gave you two pictures this week, because last time you all enjoyed it. Hope that makes up for it! And by the way, I still owe someone Red Zone, but I have lost track of who. You know who you are, please be honest, let me know, and I'll get it out to you. Sorry! Neal


The runner-ups:

Clark: I stick to AIR now. Beat THAT, Mr. Parker!

Hovering above Lana, Clark cannot help but think how she looks so radiantly beautiful. Like an angel... Then Lana farts.

Lana (snoring): Mmmph. Clark, you're a liar. Mmmph. Secrets. (snore) After all you've done to me...(snore)

Clark: Just one small lock of hair, and my Lana altar will be complete!

(singing) The room is hot and that's good - my good pal Clark came by from the neighborhood. Then he really started climbin the walls - ooh it looks like everybody is having a ball! Oh what a feeling...

CURSE YOU for making me think of Nicole Ritchie! You will burn, Richards! BURN! Er, Gislef.

Clark had a weird sense of humor - he used to visit Lana when she was sleeping and whisper, "I am the Ghost of Passive-Aggressiveness Yet to Come" and make oohing noise.

Clark: Lex was right, in this light she really does look like the anti-christ.

After finally offing Lana, he now thinks about how he will kill Moose and Squirrel.

This gives new meaning to the phrase: "Peeping Tom" !!!

The Seminifrious Tubnoidial Buttenoids have left Clark's pants... (I'm just leaving that right there.)

You spell it better than me. Hulk Smash! But then, hey, you referenced Beavis and Butthead, so I forgeeeeve.

Believe it or not, IM walking on air, I never thought I could feel so freee-eee-EEE... Flying Away! On a wing and praaayer... who could it be... believe it or not it's just me...

Greatest American reference. Man, they made THAT show but Green Lantern has never had an ongoing? What is UP with that?

After seeing the T.V. movie of "The Burning Bed," Clark realized what he must do for the good of the show.

Wow. I thought I was the only person on Earth who had read that book.

Clark: I'd better make sure the invisible man isn't already here. I'm not fallin' for that again!

I don't care WHAT anyone says. That joke is funny.

Lana (waking up): Oh, please, Clark. This is just one more attempt to distract me from all your secrets and lies, isn't it?

Not tonight, Clark - I have a headache.


Little-known fact: In an odd foreshadowing of season four, Miles Millar used the transference stone to possess Tom Welling's body just before this scene was shot (beating Al Gough to it by mere seconds).

Lana's claim that both she and Jason are adults is completely discredited, as Clark giggles at her Hello Kitty sheets.

Clark tries to reeanct the scene from "Mission Impossible" above Lana's bed. Lucky for him, he wore his OLD SPICE RED ZONE, and didnt have to worry about a drop of sweat...

You don't fake playing a violin very well.

That's a personal favorite for this week.

Clark bent down and kissed Lana's forehead. Lana, in return, gave him the worst titty twister he'd ever had.

The expression titty twister should officially be replaced by purple nurple. So I have said it, and so it shall be done!

Where are you Neal Bailey? We must be judeged! I am sad.

There are so many places where I can go with this....let's ask the big floating heads. Floating heads?




YOU WILL BOW DOWN BEFORE ME JOR-EL! Both you, and then one day, your caption contest!

Not to encourage you guys, but if I'm ever late, feel free to badger me. It's usually not laziness, just the fact that because I write all day, every day, I never really know when it's Wednesday or Thursday or Easter or Kwanza without Smallville.

Neal, stop clicking that vote button, you're winning already! Judge!

Ha! Okay. You go vote for me, and we have a deal. Just kidding. :)

Super Jax
Come on Neal! This is my first caption contest and I've already lost my patience with you!

Oh yeah? Well, just for that, I'll, uh, post your comment and put your name up in lights. D'OH! Stupid brain!

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