Caption Contest

January 26, 2005: Caption Contest

After Lex failed to finish his fresh breakdancing routine, the duo finally had to accept the fact that, yes, they were indeed served.

The runner-ups:

I have been sent back from the future to the episode Gone to protect you from a liquid metal killer, Clark. Hasta la vista, baby.

Lex: Clark, what happened?! Clark: He slimed me...

It became obvious over time that Tom Welling was just reading from cue cards rather then memorizing his lines.

Lex: I've been sent from the future to warn you...about Season Four.

Remember, Clark - if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!

Wild Bill
Lex: Clark, being in this mud puddle...I think it's time we stopped hiding our feelings... Clark: I swear to God, if that's Neal Bailey with a camera behind those bushes again...

Lex: Clark youve gotta come back with me. Clark: Where? Lex: Back . . . to the Future!

Clark: Lex, why is there a red headed girl singing "The sun will come out" Lex: I don't know, but she calls me Daddy Warbucks too.

Lex: Clark, My Father's behind this...I Know it! Clark: Lex, You just stepped out of your Ferrari and slipped in some mud Lex: I Know, Don't you see Clark? Father's plotting against me with the help of Earth itself!! Clark: Heeeey, Isn't that Bellreeve across the street? Let's stop in and say Hi...Ok buddy?

Lex: Clark? What's wrong? Clark: I think I just saw some guy with a mohawk dump Lana in the river! Anyways, what were you saying?

"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage, Clark. Despite it."

Lex: Uh Dude Where's my car? Clark: Uh Dude Where's Your Car?

Lex: I know I'm not supposed to bring this up, but how the Hell do you milk a tract-- Clark: Don't.

"Curse-a-you. Banzai!!! Where is the overthruster?!"

Plus two for reference across dimensions.

As the Top 40 schmaltz begins to play, Clark realizes that he is late for his 8:50 with Lana, and that Lex is digging it way, way too much.

In honor of the late Amrish Puri (RIP 1/12/05), Lex tried to pull Clark's right kidney out of his body by reaching through the skin. "Gough & Millar! Prepare to meet Hell!"

MAN! I didn't know he died! That sucks! Much respect, Mola Ram. One of the better movie villains, period.

Lex: I See POOR PEOPLE....all the time....

After seeing this picture from Smallville and reading all the 'gay' entires, readers wonder how Neal can expect us to post appropriate captions.

Response: Because we're all civil human beings and to do so is right. Steve and I tend to judge censored entries by intent, but largely I'm the one watching this contest. If it's immediately defamatory, I kill it and send a warning (as some folks can attest). If it's within the bounds of humor and obviously not for the intent of slander, and it's something a kid would understand without being generally "corrupted" by the SUV mother standard (not mine), like Wild Bill's above, I let it slide. Generally, however, seeing as my best friend is gay, I can tell when someone's being homophobic and when someone's just making a joke, so that's my standard here. But it's all subjective based on my best judgment I can render. Any disagreements or offenses can still be sent to, and I will review any that bother anyone. Get it? It's a community. There are people who will always push the line, we know that. Censorship is a hard line to walk, and we do our best not to be overly quieting.

Clark(CRYING): You were right, Lex. Seaon four could not have been any worse. I don't know what to do anymore! Lex: That's right, Clark. Look over there. Tell me about the rabbits...(BLAM!)

Clark: My bad writing sense is tingling. Lex: Wrong hero. Clark: SEE?! Lex: Now to convince Chuck Austen.

neal bailey
Why am I dressed like Michael Jackson...and why is my mouth minty?

[Lex]:Why does she hate poor Lexy? What has Lexy ever done to her? Master... Master carries a heavy burden. Lexy knows. Heavy, heavy burden. The pink one cannot know. Lexy look after Master. She wants it, she needs it. Lexy sees it in her eye. And soon, she will ask you for it. You will see. The pink one will take it from you...

(and for anyone who is interested, I have already done morphs of welling as frodo, lex as gollum and kristen as sam - funny schtuff! - not to mention morphs of every other LOTR character as played by Smallville regulars...)

Seriously, Shal? When do I get my emails with those in 'em? Don't be hoarding, now! :)

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