Caption Contest

May 20, 2007: Caption Contest

Caption Competition


(sorry, I couldn't resist...)

And the runner-ups:

Bosons, Anti-Higgs, and other type things:

In theory, if this guy is Clark's exact opposite, shouldn't we be calling him something other than Bizarro?

Like, perhaps, Superman?

Bizarro: Me will smash Clark Kent!

Lex: You tell 'em Tetris face.

Al: For the Bizarro shot we enlisted the help of some fine technical help that were able to modify Tom's features to be very rigid and unevolved.

Interviewer: Isn't that... the mosaic feature on Adobe Photoshop?

Al: This interview is over!!

super surfer
Lionel: Let me Guess. Clark was trying to fix the anti-higg, anti-particle, boson, muon emitter without turning it off first, wasn't he?

MM: How'd you guess?

Lionel: Because it looks like it blew up in his face.

Tom: (mumbles)
Lana: What?
Tom (mumbles)
Lex: I think he's saying oil can.
Tom: oooiiil caaan.

Lana: So, not good enough to be gold Bizarro?
Bizarro: Shut it!

The new Tom Welling. Less wooden.

Me think Smallville very good show. Plots are brilliant and original and Lana Lang am well-developed character.

Old Spice Red Zone!! You did this to me!!!

Viewer at home: Wait... Smallville isn't the Bizarro World?! WTF?!

Al: Meet Smallville's newly hired Publicity Director.

Bizarro: Smallville am great! Smallville not jump the shark! Smallville not trying to hide fact that writers am running out of ideas. Lana am every man's dream girl! Stay Tuned!

Cast of Smallville: (singing) For the show, against the show, who cares, 100 caption contests!

Tom: Well, unless you're against Lana.

Mike: Yes, because disliking Lana is wrong. She is perfect.

Allison: She does no wrong.

Erica: No! I can't take it anymore! The Lana is bad! Very, very bad!

Tom: Shut up, Erica!

Erica: No, Tom! I won't live in fear any-

(Suddenly, Kristin leaps out of the floor, dislocates her lower jaw, and stuffs Erica down her throat. She burps. The rest of the cast cowers in the corner.

Cast: We love the Lana! Oyez! Oyez!

Erica: (muffled, inside Kristin's belly) Sam? Sam Jones?

Sam: Hallelujah! There is a God!

Ironically, Lana Lang is the only woman to corrupt her own Earth. Somewhere in the Timestream, Mister Mind nods approvingly.

On Bizarro Smallville, the tractors MILK YOU!!!!

Bizarro: One in every five billion Bizarros is different than the rest. Even dumber. Even more naive. Lacking in any and all social skills and ready to worship anything which berates them passive-aggressively, because to a Bizarro, that is the truest form of God's love.
Clark: My God. What do you do with them?
Bizarro: (waving arm around) Welcome to Smallville!

Booster Gold: My God. What happened to this Earth?
Rip Hunter: Mister Mind ate all of its logic.

Looks like somebody hooked up a Turbo Grafix 16 and went to town.

A portrait of Clark Kent done by artiste Lana Lang, during her Cubist phase. But that was five or six amazing careers ago...

Perry White, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Green Arrow, Impulse, Cyborg, Aquaman, General Zod and now Bizarro.

Bizarro, another adition to the long line of people who appeared before they should have.

Sadly, this single shot still cost more than the entire budget of "Factotum."

Sadder still, most people would rather have watched this than Factotum.

Bizarro made it official, folks: Clark has worn that jacket so long it's now ingrained in his DNA.


Strongbad five.

Proof positive that Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr Pepper does chromasomal damage.

Me am Bizarro, and me am constipated!

I am Bizarro...only a little bit more LAME.

The Phantom of the Soap Opera.

super surfer
Bizarro Roy Orbison's number one hit was "Ugly Woman".

In clinic of Princeton-Plainsboro:

House: You Liar! That is not your face! Tell me what really happened!!!
Bizarro: (shoots heat beams and burns hole in wall next to House's face) ....

House: HOLY CrAP! You must have the second documented case of Kryptogeninoccoccus of all time! You are dying, you idiot! How the heck did you get that disease! Lana will come after you with a cleaver and kill you, you idiot!

Bizarro: reaches out and snaps his cane with two fingers, which House is leaning on so he falls over) Me am strong, will end Lana's reign over Death once and for all!

House: YES! ALL RIGHT! I will now discharge you. Your quest is a good one, idiot!

I frickin' love House.

Weilling: This neutogena sucks, Kristin!

Kreuk: That was cement mix, you idiot!

During an interview years later, when asked why Bizarro did the Smallville guest spot he shrugged and replied, "Hey, everybody not gotta eat, right?"

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