Caption Contest

May 25, 2006: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Lex: (looking at the puncture mark in his arm)


And the runner-ups:

Lex: "Mr. Fine, some people can read 'War & Peace,' and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story- others can read the ingredients of a chewing gum wrapper, and unleash the secrets of the universe."
Fine: "........Whatever, dude."

Lex: And when you're done with the "I Heart Mom" tattoo there, I want a big "L" tattooed on my forhead! A big "L" for Lex! What are you laughing at?!

Lex: What the hell are you doing?!
Fine: Pop! You're Pennzoil, bich!

Director: Cut! Rosenbaum, we gotta have more gums. Not gummy enough by half. How about this? Could you just grab your top lip and pull it up over that popsicle of a head of yours? Could you do that?

Rosenbaum: I'm picking up on your sarcasm.

Director: Good. 'Cause I'm laying it on pretty thick.

Big Gums...Little Teeth.

Ow! That's not how a bedazzler works!!

Director: Okay, Mike, if you don't mind, we're going to have James actually inject you on this take. We want a realistic reaction as possible. It might sting a little okay?

Michael Rosenbaum: Okay. What is it, just a little saline?

Director: Red Bull and lighter fluid. Action!

Lex: Augh! Needles! My only weakness! How did you know?
Fine: Oh, come on. Lana's your weakness, and we all know it.
Lex: Oh, sorry. I meant my only EXCLUSIVE weakness. Everybody here is vulnerable to Lana. It's in the contract.
(Holds up Fine's WB contract, points to a line)
See? It's even in yours.
Fine: Impossible. I would never allow a puny human female to control me-
Lana: (walking in) Lex, what's going on?
Fine: (bowing suddenly to Lana) I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY!

Lex: Now, this injection will give me superhuman strength, correct?
Fine: No, it will give you incredbile healing abilities.
Lex: What? But I thought injecting someone with liquid Kryptonite gave them super-strength?
Fine: That wasn't Kryptonite - it was a vaccine that you engineered yet, inexplicably, needed my help for while still trying to track me down. Besides, injecting yourself with Kryptonite makes you intangible.
Lex: Actually, I'm pretty sure that you paint yourself with oils from roses growing in Kryptonite-laced flowerbeds to become intangible.
Fine: Really? I thought that gave you super-speed.
Lex: No, wait, the flower thing makes you invisible.
Fine: Then how do you become intangible? Do you eat it?
Lex: Hang on, hang on, I should know this...aha! You get a tattoo done with it!
Fine: A tattoo? That seems kind of unreasonable.
Lex: I'm sure it's a tattoo. Those guys beat me up. Lex Luthor never forgets who beat him up.
Fine: Then how do you get super-speed with it?
Lex: Ummm...I think you have to be cloned using it.
Fine: Boy, that's inconvienent. How does that work?
Lex: (shrugs) Search me. How does it make cars faster?
Fine: What about if you got covered by a lightening-charged rack of Kryptonite chemicals?
Lex: Maybe...I dunno. I think if you drink Kryptonite tainted water, you become Aquaman, but I'm not sure on that...maybe it just makes you really, really amorous...
Clark: (Butting in) Hey, you know what else Kryptonite does? It kills me. Why don't we just leave it at that, huh?

EASILY the winner, if it weren't too long for the front page. Just sayin', so you know.

Label on the vial reads: Guaranteed power beyond imagining in just two episodes. Warning. Side effects may include taking to wearing leather dusters and lurking on rooftops like you're The Crow and making out with narcissistic waifs.

Lex (shouting at hand): I do not tolerate laziness in my organization! (Shouts at underling) Stab him again! (Underling complies. Lex screams.) Alright! He's had enough! (To hand) You'll never fall asleep in a meeting again, will you, hand? Will you?!

Hand: ... (Flips him the bird.)

(After the injection, a super-powered Lex confronts Clark in his barn.)

Clark: I'm not gonna let you get away with this, Lex.
Lex: Than this is it. Our final battle.
(Their eyes narrow as the two ball their fists.)
Lex: It was inevitable.
(The two leap at each other at super-speed...and begin to bich-slap each other.)
Lex: Ow! Clark, stop it! Ow!

Do you really need words to make that pic funny?

Thank you. :)

Things that make you go "AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!"

The unforseen side effect of a disembodied essence (Zod) inhabiting a human host: Bozoclownosis

The tragic results of loosing rock, paper, scissors on a corperate level.

Plasticman caught infultrating Luthorcorp.

super surfer
Doctor: We had to sedate him. He was calling himself Zod and rambling on about world conquest.

A production assistant on the set of Smallville explains routine as a new intern shadows him around the set...

Production Assistant: And here we see Mr. Rosenbaum receiving his "medicine". We inject some members of the cast with a solution that acts as a temporary inhibitor of their cognitive processes, essentially "dumbing" them down so they'll have less objections to the scripts.

Intern: So when does Tom get his shot?

Production Assistant: Wow, you really are new. It's Welling's blood.

VERY good. Almost the winner. Just a bit too long for the front page. Consider it the inside victor with the above...


Lex: Vitamin B13? I've never heard of it. Where'd you get it? General Nutrition?

Fine: Sure, whatever. Just hold still.

Why, Why did they have to cancel Justice League!!!?

Not funny OR related to the picture. But a good point.

Smallville Announcer: If you're just joining us...then you're the fairweather demographic this lame synopsis was designed for. So clean out your (bleep)ing ears and pay attention, chuckleheads, 'cause I'm only gonna give you the CliffsNotes once...

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