Caption Contest

November 3, 2005: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Little Nancy Callahan...She grew up...She filled out.

And the runner-ups:

Waitress: May I take your order
Clark: I'll have the chicken.
Waitress: Leg or Breast?
Clark: The breast looks good.


Smallville's not going downhill, no sir!

Oh what the heck, let's upgrade that skim to 2%!

Clark: "I'm Clark. What's your name?"
Girl: "Birtha Butt."
Clark: "I have no response to that."

Clark: (thinking) That's it. The writer DIES.

You milked the sweeps. Now you pay with your life!

Clark:The name's Kent. Clark Kent.
Waitress: Well, mine's Chance. No Chance.

Clark: (glancing at pocket) "Well, I can tell this hankerchief is going to come in handy to-"
(Steve cocks a gun at JasonSpidey's head)
Clark:", uh, dry off Lana's tears when she finds out I went to a strip club. Because it goes against all my morals. Yeah, that's it."

Clark: Excuse me miss could I get another beer?
Waitress: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Clark: Why is that?
Waitress: Because that's your 124th.
Clark: oh, is that bad?

Fine: [explaining] He doesn't like you.
Clark: I'm sorry.
Fine: I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
Clark: I'll be careful.
Fine: You'll be dead!

Clark: "Oh, man, I wish I had the guts to talk to one of these girls."
(A thought hits him; he gropes through his pockets, frantically searching for something)
Clark: "My class ring? Where's my ring? That stupid stuff shows up every ten minutes on this show, there must be some red around here!"

Clark: "Chloe?!?"
Chloe: "Well, how did you think I was paying for that car?"

Clark: This place is demeaning. Um, hi, can I get some sparkling w--...MOM?!?

I just almost had a heart attack.

Clark gains admission to the Stonecutters secret society: "Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do! We do!"

"Who holds back the flying and tights? Who makes Kristin Kreuk a star? We do! We do!"


Clark with his thinking cap on: "I wonder if Lana would mind if I brought home a 'friend' tonight"

Clark...dude....more trouble than it's worth. Trust me.

"Oh, waitress? My girlfriend's off to college and I'm missing her. Here's $5 - could you say, "I like you, Clark but...SECRETS AND LIES! SECRETS AND LIES!" for me. Thanks!"

*the crystal on the table starts flickering*

Jor-El: You must continue your journey, Kal-El. The consequences will be dire.

Clark: Dad! I only agreed to go out together if you kept quiet!

Jor-El: Great moons of Krypton! An Earth female! Quickly, my son, drop your fork or somehting!

Clark: Shut up!

So that's what they're wearing in Addis Ababa? I especially like the little dashiki hats.

Clark: "Wow - beautiful girls, stylish people, cheap drinks - this place is heaven on Earth. What could go wrong?"
Announcer: "Our next dancer, the wonderous Neal Bailey!"
Clark: "(expletive deleted)."

Why do you say this to me when you know I shall only kill you for it?

Somewhere, a tractor's engine revs excitedly.

Waitress: Hey! Arent you that guy from Cheaper by the Dozen and the Fog?
Welling: Why yes.
Waitress: Get out.

Clark: " Now if you tell the bar tender to go easy on the water, there's a nice fifty cent peice in it for you, so run along, go ahead, I'm counting... 1,2,3," Lex: That was just amazing. How can you trat women like that?" Clark:" Are you kidding, she loved it." Lex:" No she didn't." Waitress: " One Glen Gary on the rocks, easy on the water." Clark:" Here you go, what time do you get off?" waitress: " about 1." clark: " O.k, why don't you get a friend to join us at the bamboo lounge aroung2." Waitress: "you got it." Lex" that was soo cool, that was like jedi mind s___ " Clark: " No, that was the kryptonian swoon."

Top secret trick to get a top pick in this contest...reference one of Neal's favorite movies. Or get him babies. Swing kid here.

Clark-Wow look at all the beautiful babies here, she's looking good, and, I am looking like the money, like the bomb.
Waitress- Hey whats your name?
Clark- I want you to remember this face I am the guy, behind the guy, behind the guy.
Waitress- Okay(sarcastically)walks away
Waitress-Cocktails? Guy behind the guy.
Clark- I will have a scotch on the rocks, any scotch will do as long as it is not a blend of course, single malt, Glenlevit,Glenfinit Glengal perhaps any Glen.
Waitress- okay scotch on the rocks

That's TWO!

For the strippers - against the strippers - who cares! Three hundred postings!

He cried out in joyous revelry. Meanwhile, Neal screamed and begged for mommy.

Clark suddenly gets out of his chair, picks up the waitress and throws here out of a nearby window.

Clark: "No ticket."

Jor El's voice rings out in Clark's mind: "Junior?"

Lois: So where's your girlfriend?
Clark: Oh, this episode she's busy sharing special moments to Top 40 love songs with the person she cares about most. Herself. A LaLana, I think it's called.

Clark: *ahem* The're pink, Lois.

Clark to waitress: Is that your piano there in the corner?
Waitress: No, our coffee table came with buck-teeth. Here's your sign.

Lois to Neal: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Hyde from "That 70's Show"?
Neal: And lived to tell about it? Not a chance!

Actually, I'm a SPOT-ON match for Brian O'Halloran. I could be his evil double. Funny, because my favorite movie for years (before I grew into how I look now) was Clerks. Ask any author, though, the pic they put up is never how they look in real life. Expect the blue hair soon.

Ian S
Clark: *looking at girl* oh god.... Neal bailey in a tutu, Neal bailey in a tutu, Neal bailey in a tutu, Neal bailey in a tutu, Neal bailey in a tutu...

Hey! I look good in a tutu. It's a MUMU that doens't flatter my girlish figure. No, wait.

(when the waitress handed Clark his drink, she forgot to lean over so that he could reach it and spilled the drink on the floor)Waitree: "Ooopps!, I guess my arm wasn't long enough." Clark: "Would you like to see a long arm? Would you like to see a very long arm?"

That scene, where he just lets the wheel go and jumps into the back seat, still makes me wet myself more than any caption thusfar.

Do I get a prize for making the 400th comment?

As soon as I get a prize for reading it. ;)

Caption Contest Archives