Caption Contest

October 1, 2006: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

last man of krypton
Chloe: Clark, you can stop a bullet with your hand. Why aren't you helping these people?

Clark: You forgot Poland!

And the runner-ups:

Makeshift Python
Chloe: "It was just an in the moment type of thing, lets just be friends alright?"
Clark: "Uh.. Yeah! I wouldn't want to jepordize our friendship too."
Chloe: "...Clark what the hell is wrong with you? If you want to be with me, demand it instead of faking an agreement to just be friends!"
Gough: "No, no! Mack, what are you doing? You're ruining a great story arc for us!"
Neal: "WRONG!"

Jason was ON FIRE this week. I don't want to hear any complaints. Just more funny. GO, MINIONS!

(Clark and Chloe's lips near each other...)
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I miss you baby, and I don't wanna miss a--
(Clark turns and vaporizes Steven Tyler with heat vision.)
Clark: Now, where were we?

Clark: Chloe, you're stretching the denim.
Chloe: But I'm barely touching your jacket!
Clark: It's not the jacket.

Clark: You know what's amazing?
Chloe: That after all these years, we finally have a shot?
Clark, No, that the WB isn't ruining this by playing some crappy James Blunt song right now.

Chloe: Clark, it's too dangerous. Listen to Tony, just this once. We won't have to run anymore. I hate it too, but if registering is the only way we can live a normal life, then, please, it for me.
Clark: Um...Chloe? What in the sweet name of Siegel and Shuster afre you talking about?

I'm with DC. And House.

After watching the Season 6 premiere, Neal uses his octagonal disk to teleport himself to his Fortress of Writertude.
Neal: The plotline is gone. Help me make it right!
Bukow-ski: (voice) You are forbidden from interfering with human history, my son.
Neal: But...Clark! And Chloe! They almost...they kissed and everything!
Bukow-ski: (after long pause) Very well. This crystal will allow you to travel back to Season 5 and set things right, but it can only be used once. Be certain that this is what you wa-
(Neal dissapears in a flash of light with the crystal)
Bukow-ski: -nt. Well, then. I guess I'm just talking to myself. That's just great. A disembodied voice, talking to himself.
(whistles "Dixie" for a minute)
Bukow-ski: Hell with it, I'm getting a Tab.

Easily the winner, if only people knew Buk. Still honestly my favorite caption in months.

I think this single picture encapsulates everything we love and everything we hate about this show: the incredible hope that it brings us when something amazing happens...and that unpleasant sensation of vertigo when the rug is violently ripped out from under our feet.

Suddenly, James Marsten walks in and hands his ruby-quartz glasses to Clark.
Clark: What are these for?
Marsten: Hey, if you're gonna kiss her, you're gonna need some protection.
(noticing Erica Durance)
How you doin'?

Chloe: Clark, I have to tell you...I'm pregnant. And I think you're the father.
Director: Cut! Call in the Clark double!
Tom: Hey, who'd we get for this?
Director: I dunno - some guy who said he's been on a lot of soaps. Had experience with this sort of thing.
Brandon Routh: Hi, there.

Just then, Clark notices the reflection n Chloe's eye of Kevin Spacey about to jab a kryptonite shiv into him.

Chloe: Clark, can you read my mind?
Clark: Yes I can; and it's not right to have those kinds of thoughts about your cousin, Chloe... but as for me, that's one-step closer to the American Dream.


Do a little dance,
Fight a little Zod,
Get down tonight!

Super Luigi 64
Chloe: Clark! How did you esape the Phantom Zone?

Clark: Last thing I remember is some guy in a cape throwing an elevator car a me...

"Hold still you have something in your teeth Clark."


Clark: "Who are you?"

Clark was happy to see Chloe trying to kiss him, but once he discovered Lionel took over her body, well then, things became a little weird.

super surfer
Chloe: Clark, PLEASE take me to the Neal Bailey book signing next week! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!
Clark: Ok.
Chloe: YAY! I love you! (gives Clark big wet sloppy kiss)

Points for flattery.

super surfer
Jimmy: Um, Chloe, remember me? I'm Jimmy.
Chloe: Jimmy who?
Jimmy: Jimmy Olsen. The guy who deflowered you.
Chloe: Vaguely. (Chloe goes back to kissing Clark)

super surfer
Clark: Give me an heir, human female!
Chloe (smiling): With Pleasure! (tackles Clark)

last man of krypton
Chloe: Clark, you can stop a bullet with your hand. Why aren't you helping these people?

Clark: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as the rest of the world. Let me see, uhh.... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything, everything that exists, past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions... Oh! And Hugh Jackman.

Chloe: But Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare you!

Also Cox.

Chloe (In Jack Nicholson voice) : Clark.... Remember...You.. are my number one.. GUUUUY!

Chloe: So... find anything?
Clark: Nope. Not even my x-ray vision can find the plot.

Chloe: My God Clark. Is it really true.

Clark: Its true. Neal Bailey has been published.

On real paper!

Clark: What's wrong.
Chloe: It's Lex. He's told me things, terrible things.
Clark: What sorts of things?
Chloe: That, you've turned to the dark side. That you killed younglings!
Clark: Lex is trying to turn you against me. He doesn't matter anymore. Nothing else matters. All that matters is you, and our child.
Chloe: Come away with me. Leave all of this behind while we still can. Help me raise our child.
Clark: Don't you understand . I've found a way to protect you. Love can't save you only my new powers will. I am more powerful than Neil Baily! I can over throw him! Together we can change things, make them the way we want them to be!
Chloe: Lex is right, you have changed! I don't know you any more.
Clark: Teh heroes truned against me, don't you turn against me!
Chloe: Clark, no, come back, I love you!
Clark: ( sees Lex): LIAR! YOU'RE WITH HIM!!!

This Neil Baily must be a cad.

Chloe: Clark, if these big strong arms of yours cannot move steel, then maybe you could ... oh, I don't know ... BLOW on it! That would work! Really!

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