Caption Contest

January 12, 2006: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

FARMER: Whoo boy, you sure are some strangly dressed fellers, I tell you what...

BATMAN: Listen, kind stranger, we are just looking for this little half-wit albino boy that plays the banjo. First he beat me in a banjo play-off, then he cut off some of our hair and said something about growing his own superheroes. Have you seen him around here?

FARMER: I don't understand what you need, partner...

SUPERMAN: Damn it, Batman, you have to speak their language. Here, let me try...

BATMAN: Be my guest, Smallville.

SUPERMAN: Hoo doggies, my pardner here sure doesn't mean to sound ignert, but let's just say he has a pasture, but no cattle. Now, we've howdied, but we haven't shook yet. My name is Superman-Bob, and my companion here is Joe-Batman. Now I know we are prolly as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party, and you have to forgive our strange attair, but we are sherrifs from another part of the land, and we sure are tarred from a long journey. We hate to ast such a favor, but we'd muchablige your cystance with our troublesome siddeation. While we were moseying along the open trail, we came across a little boy who was as white as a cow that lost it's spots, but had more banjo playin' tallent that John Henry had strength. Now, my pardner here, who is as full of wind as a corn-eating horse, decided to challenge the boy to a play off.
Needless to say, Joe-Batman lost the contest and, gosh darn it, he doesn't like to lose, so we'r just journeying out to find the boy so we could crush him like the grass under a sleepin' cow...

BATMAN: When we get home, I'm going to make you squeal like a pig, you stupid son of a...

And the runner-ups:

Hillbilly: Why no, I'm not starting a clone saga. Whatever gave you THAT idea?


Batman: Have you seen our missing sons?
Hillbilly: NOPE!
Superman: Um, Cletus? I don't need x-ray vision to know you're lying because they're propped up against the wall directly behind you. I should just fry you with heat vision where you stand, but frankly I'm just awestruck at the sheer magnitude of your brass cajones.
Hillbilly (shrugs): Too ign'nt ta know bettah.
Batman: Fry him anyway.

Stinky Sock Award for mocking hillbillies with a bad accent... Not that they could read well enough to tell you're mocking them anyway... Oh, the heck with it.

Batman: Have you seen our sons?
Villain: Nope!
Batman: And your sure about that?
Villain: Yes, why wouldnt I be?
Batman: So what are those two big freezer tubes behind you containing our frozen sons?
Villain: Wax work models...
Batman: You really expect us to believe tha...
Superman: So what do you say old chum, shall we try the next house?
Superman: Last time I checked it wasnt a crime to worship us in wax form.
Superman: I must apologise for my friend. He gets a little edgy when he loses a sidekick.
Villain: No problem Mr Superman, hope you find them soon. *shuts door*
Superman: What a nice man!

Strangest episode of Deadwood ever.

Batman: So your not Mr Freeze or Captain Cold, so who the hell are you and why the freezing motif?

At least he's SORTA honest...

Superman: Any particular reason youve chosen to freeze our sons?
Villain: I got bored...

Batman: When we do Clone Sagas, we do them right.
Superman: Yeah.....with farmers and everything.

What happens when Kirkman's Marvel Zombies decide to have frozen meals.

What? Don't look at me that way. You expected them to eat Howard the Duck and Spider-Ham? Feh. ...Man that series is nauseating...

Oh dear god, Superman's son is encased in a whole foot of ice! Like he couldn't escape by, oh I don't know, sneezing, wiggling a finger, etc. Some measure of drastic exertion along those lines would be required to escape from such a fiendish death trap!

If this were a movie, someone in the theater would yell "For God sakes Batman, THEY'RE RIGHT THERE BEHIND HIM"

Actually, I think they'd be in the lobby demanding their money back.

What do you mean, it's strange that we dress our sons up just like us? Nope, no psychological or parenting problems there, no siree bob.

For a guy who is supposedly the world's greatest detective and another guy who has X-Ray vision...

...this makes them appear as the worst heroes ever.

And people wonder why I read Fantastic Four instead...

Batman: have you seen these missing.... oo... you have something on your cheek....



Superman:.... awkward...

It woulda been funnier taking my joke if he'd licked the tube instead and gotten his tongue stuck.

Hillbilly: If you try to freeze Superman and Batman's sons, but have clean out the cryogenic chambers first 'cause you been usin' 'em to keep yer beer cold? You might be a redneck.

Batman: ... (Kicks hillbilly in the face. Hillbilly crumples to the ground.
Turns to Superman) Get the kids. I'll be in the car.

Sounds about right.

Batman: Have you seen our sons?

Villan: NOPE

Superman Jr: .......Our parents are idiots

Wow. Apparently the captioners all think Superman and Batman are idiots. So, you guys come here for the unintentional comedy each week, or are you just patronizing the "poor misguided Marvel fan"? While I ponder that question (and likely incur several therapy bills), I'll bid you adieu.

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