Caption Contest

April 14, 2005: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

As long as you don't eat frogs we're cool.

The runner-ups:

Zombie: Brains... Brains... (looks at Lana, then turns away) Brains... Brains...

And somewhere far away, Neal sits in the corner of a padded cell, jabbering on about how suddenly the Evil had doubled and was unstoppable.

Actually, this one wasn't a joke. This happened. Poor Neal. But he'll recover in time to finish this week's review. No worries... I hope.

Good...bad...I'm the one with the passive-aggressiveness.

Sneakymonkey (Taking a cue from Smallville, seeks to entice Old Spice into sponsoring his Caption Contest posts): Hi, I'm Sneakymonkey! You may remember me from such posts as "Why be clever? Lana just sucks!" and "I can't say it enough: Lana sucks." I keep a stick of Old Spice Red Zone by my PC. I sniff it often for inspiration when I am posting. It smells manly, yet refreshing, in a chemically sort of way. Also, the excellent smell completely masks any other scent, so when my captions stink I don't know it, and never have to feel bad. In additon, if I sniff it long enough, I start to feel weird and my head gets this floaty feeling. Like now. And it works as a great repellant when tiny Lana pixies attack. Get away! Get away! The power of the Spice compells you!!!

Lana is completely unfazed as she sees herself rise off the table. Lana: Oh my God! Tina Greer again! You sucked the first time around! (Smacking the Lana clone): You (smack!) are (smack!) the most (smack!) tired (smack!) meteor freak (smack!) of them all! Don't come back! (smack!)

If you say Lana's name five times real fast in a morgue, her evil clone shows up and tries to kill you.

And if you simply say it three times, Michael Keaton comes back from the Retired Batmen Graveyard.

To save money, WB brought in an actual corpse to play Lana. Cast is still unsure which one can act better.

(singing) Simpering child you shall know me, see why in shadow I hide! Look at your face in the mirror - I am there inside!

Not so funny, but I'm a huge fan of Phantom of the Opera. Made my day. Thanks.

Lana: Wow, Steve really IS strict about tractor jokes! Lana Corpse: You should see what he did when I tried making jokes about steamrollers.

Lana: It's not fair! Everybody in my life dies on me! Can you tell me why? Corpse Lana (shrugs): Beats me. They're just lucky, I guess.

Double the Lana, double the ratings. Double my tylenol.

Steven Hutton
Lana: Give me your hands... I've always wanted more hands.

Power Rangers reference, uh, hmm.....Tiger Death Grip?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present what would have won the stinky sock award. This is just sad. It sounds like a G.I.Joe action feature.

Lana: So, THIS is where my integrity wound up!

In case anyone is miffed that I picked several of my own this week... I can't help it if I'm funnier than you are. It's your own fault for the "Gremlins" references.

The captions are "depressing actually", CyberV? I'll tell you depressing. Helmeted high schoolers doing bad kung fu against rubber monsters and interspliced Japanese actors who are horribly dubbed over, until they get their a**es kicked and are forced to rip off Voltron and form a big, stupid Japanese robot, and fight even bigger rubber monsters...hey, wait! That's hilarious. Power rangers suck so bad, they rule. Never mind...this day my Grinch heart has grown ten times! I'll go out and buy a Superman T-shirt and a Fantastic Four T-Shirt! And a Destroy All Monsters T-shirt! But not a Power Rangers shirt. Because that's weak.

This was SO close to winning.

"Passive-Aggresive Twin Powers Activate"

Lana: What are you? Zombie: My name is Cyberv. I hunt you down, in the name of Bailey.

I present... my new minion of darkness. He carries the luggage. ;)

Corpse: Hey, you're not Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh well. (Jumps off the table grabs Lana by the throat and drains her blood) Corpse: Now, lets go find that Pacey.

This caption really does speak for itself, cause what's funnier than a dead Lana. I can't think of anything to top that.

Corpse: Why Lana, you're cold as ice! Lana:.......Its this show, I can't take it anymore!!

neal bailey
Corpse sits up: Heeeeey Macarena. (AIIIGH)

And that does it for this week! As one can see from looking at the captions, this week really went to the dogs... Or is that just a clever segue to this week's pictures? I wonder... Neal's the judge this week, folks! See ya in two!

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