Caption Contest

August 13, 2006: Caption Contest

Caption CompetitionCaption Competition

One is the single most stupid character interpretation of a great comic character. Their history was completely whiped out in favor of twisted and constantly confusing storylines that only disappoint fans around the world. Can you guess which one?

And the runner-ups:

Lana: Clark, I'm tired of all the secrets, all the lies, can you see how hurt I am by the "hurt fawn" look on my face?

Superboy: Look, no one likes you...not even ME and I'm not even from your show!

The Old Bum
Lana: No... it can't be!
Clark: That's right. A mithril blazer.

The Old Bum
The heck with Alex, THIS is why Superboy really went nuts.

Neal, that's your most cunning "Get close enough to Lana to slay her" disguise yet!

Safe from attack with the mithril vest, and like Mr. Cellophane, completely immune to detection by virtue of geekosity. It was easy, just a quick, sharp shiv to the lower back...and a FWUMP!

There is only one possible comment for those of us who don't know who the guy on the right is...

Lana: What the F*** is this S***? Oh, I'm trippin' off AC!D...

If I could put abbreviated expletives on the front page, this would be a ftw. Just so you know. Juggernaut > tractor joke (currently).

Lana: Oh, Clark, can you give me a hand here?
Clark: Sure, Lana.
(He steps over to her - before incinerating her with beams of heat from his eyes. He pulls off his glasses and tears off his shirt, to reveal a "S" symbol carved into his chest.)
Superboy-Prime: It's done. You'll spring me now, right?
(In a flash of light, Neal Bailey appears.)
Neal: Indeed I shall. The Green Lanterns will never even know you're gone. Have fun. YELIAB LAEN!
(They both vanish)

Next up in the long-awaited event of the Century, Infinite Catharsis: I fight Mogo. Starts in feet, ends in blood, there WILL be tie-ins.

Clark Kent in Glasses....

Wow. Short contest. Let's see, just a minute to type this, another minute to post it. Yep, it'll be close but this one should just barely make the contest before they put the next one up.

And this caption was for LAST WEEK'S contest. I keed. Gotta work faster, I'm on time now! ;)

Lana is shocked to discover that Superboy's alter ego is none other than mild mannered talk show host, Sally Jesse Raphael.

Lana'a PreOperation and post Operation pictures

Clark: Tee Hee, I passed a little wind.

Lana: It's like I don't even know you at all, Clark.
Clark: I don't know you.
Lana: I just can't live with all this dishonesty!
Clark: But I---
Lana: You say you love me, but it's all secrets and lies!
Clark: I--I'm sorry, Lana.

This scene is an excerpt from a Smallville episode loosely based on the DC mini series, "The Kingdom" in which Lana travels through hypertime, berating and guilting young Clark Kents in alternate timelines, an episode simply titled, "Bich."

Through this picture, the shocking truth is revealed. Clark's real nemesis is not Lex Luthor but, in fact, Lenscrafters.


Ah, this picture reminds me of just before Season Two of Superboy, and that season's wonderful new theme song, as done by They Might Be Giants...

"Gerard Christopher not John Haymes Newton
Now Gerard Christopher not John Haymes Newton
Why they switched them I can't say
The Producers just liked it better that way!"

If you've got a girl in Metroponople, she'll be waiting in Earthsea. (Even old Al Gough was one involved in Showtime)

Lana: Wow, those are some hideous glasses.

Clark: Hideous yes, but highly useful. You see my technologically advanced granny glasses emit a hypnotic signal, keeping anyone from being able to recognize me as Superboy!

Lana: Wow, how'd you manage that?

Clark: Well, the lenses are just regular glass. But the frames are composed of anti-particles, tau leptons, higgs, bosons and more!

Lana: Higgs?! Don't you mean anti-higgs?

Clark: By God, you're right! These glasses are highly unstable!

(Glasses start vibrating, giving off a high pitched whine.)

Clark (whimpers): Mommy!

(Clark explodes.)

Lana (turns towards camera) Don't be like Clark, kids! Pseudo-science is nothing to fool around with! If you try constructing wacky inventions of your own without the proper knowledge or safety precautions, you could end up dead, or worse! Take it from me. I'm amazing!

("The More You Know" jingle plays and the star shoots across the screen, then explodes.)

Announcer: This message brought to you by The Flux Capacitor Society for the Advancement of Techno-Babble.

Anti-higgs for the win. See, folks? A sure way to get a long entry in. FADS! Play to them! This has been a public service announcement.

Bark Bent
Kristen: No Clark, I will not go to the Lambda Lambda Lambda party with you on Saturday night.

Lana makes SUCH a good Ogre.

Calling me Lana, KingGramJohnson? In the state of Washington, that would be legal grounds for shooting you. Or at least kicking you really hard in the shins.

Actually, that's being CALIFORNIAN in the state of Washington that entitles others to shoot you without penalty. Calling someone Lana is grounds for torture. This is easily solved with a W1246 citizenship form and ex post facto citizenship proceedings presided over by a "secret court" judge sympathetic to Lana's threat to national security. Basically, in other words, it's red tape, yeah, but go ahead and shoot her.

Neal...come on. There must be a better picture combination than this. I can think of at least six or seven ones from Episode 100 that would be better than this.

I accept submissions...some from Will next week.

super surfer
Nerdiness. A horrifying side effect of the anti-particle, boson, anti muon, anti higg thingamajig gun.

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