Caption Contest

May 18, 2006: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Cabbie: "Hi, I'm looking for Ray Finkle..."


"...and a clean pair of shorts."

And the runner-ups:

Best pandering to the judge goes to...

Taxi Driver: Triceratops!!

... Superman looks at him funny ...

Taxi Driver: Darn it, I said, TRICERATOPS!! - - don't worry, Superman! It's just a temporary setback...

Superman: Uh, yeah. You might want to step aside.

Second best pandering to the judge goes to...

last man of krypton
Even though he'd long since hung up his morphers and taken up taxi driving, Tommy was still determined to prove he was the greatest Ranger ever. But even he needed Superman's help for Pudgy Pig.

the runner ups are...

Taxi Driver: "I get paid $4.50 an hour, I'm lucky if I get tipped, my wife left me, my kids are mentaly retarted, all my friends are drunken bums, Superman hates my guts....I REALLY DON'T NEED GUNS POINTED AT ME RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Cabby: "Bring it on!"
Gunmen: "It's been brought-en!"


Superman: "He didn't bring it..."

Cabby: "If you don't stand back, I'll...I'"
Superman: "Great, out of all the galaxies in the world, I get stuck with the worthless taxi least with Aquaman, I could convince him into taking a bullet or two for my escape..."

The following gets the stinky sock award for being a stick in the mud, and mangling the running gag.

Lex Luth-OR
I'd do a "Pause lick" joke here but we aren't supposed to put slash or other questionable matterial on the caption contest

Superman being picked up after filming the last episode of JLU.

Driver: "Where to next buddy?"

Supes: "... I don't know..." (starts sobbing uncontrollably)

Driver: "Not another one."

You think this team up is weird?, Remember "Archie meets Punisher"

De-powered by the final events of Infinite Crisis, a mortal Superman cannot resist the urge to use a human shield

Cabbie: Oh, so you think you'll just use your alien technology to blast some holes in my pal Superman, here, eh? Well, my friends this is your unlucky day. 'Cause if you're gonna do that, you gotta go through me, first!

(Aliens fire.)

(And that was why honorary Justice League member Captain Disproportionate Sense of Courage had a closed casket funeral...)

ALMOST won. Pity I'm an Ace Ventura fan.

As the cabbie verbally attacks the aliens, Superman takes the opportunity to... slowly... start... backing... up...

super surfer
Every year around this time, Superman is seen at St. James Cemetery, placing flowers on the grave of a little known cabbie.

Cyberv's conspicuous lack of posts for several weeks is finally explained when he returns to the contest, unveiling the successor to the stinky sock, the Yogurt Death Cannon 9000, claiming he would have returned sooner, but the assembly instructions were in Japanese.

Actually, it's more about someone else living here and hogging the computer so much that I can barely get any work done at all.

Aliens: Look, Cabbie, we don't want any trouble with you. Just let us have the sissy-looing weirdo in the cape.

Cabbie: Sissy-looking---? (Shrugs.) Suit yourself. (Steps aside.) Idiots...

Superman (grins, cracking his knuckles, and steps forward): Hi.

Cabbie: That tears it! Play time's over! It's time to unleash my true power!

(Cabbie doubles over, fists clenched, as his body begins to glow. Tendrils of energy stream from his eyes. The aliens back away warily, as Cabbie is engulfed in a white light, which explodes outward in a blinding flash. When the smoke clears, Cabbie is a limo driver. Aliens laugh.)

Cabbie: Nuts.

And that ends another contest. Be here next week, when Neal shows you which tractor gives the best milk. Or not, as Steve's giving me the evil eye.

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