Caption Contest

September 9, 2005: Caption Contest

Caption Competition

Lex: Oh NO!
Clark: What happened!?
Lex: Julian!! He went into the floor! I must go get him!
Clark: oh god... not again

Second place ties:

Galactus sings in voice of a certain Purple dinosaur: "I love you, you hate me, interstellar eatery..."

And the cat's meow:

Superman: So, Reed, how are we going to defeat Galactus. You are the smartest man in two universes, surely you must have some outrageously innovative plan.

Reed: It's ingenious. We'll pretend to attack something in front of Galactus, something that isn't really there. When he reaches out to grab the unexistent object you and Ben will turn around and push him over the Fantasticar that's parked at his knees. Then we'll all run away laughing.

Superman: Crap, I ended up in the Ultimate universe. Grant Morrison save me.

Superman: SUPER!
Thing: Uhhhh... Super?
Sue: TEAM!
All: GO!
(planet blows up)
Reed: Johnny, this is the last time we let Franklin choose how we save the Earth.
Torch: Sorry...

Superman: Hmmm... Giant villain...
Reed: Wants to destroy the Earth...
Thing: Comes from space...
Torch: Usually takes about four to five people to completely defeat him...
Sue: Give it up, guys. CyberV isn't going to make a reference THAT blatant.
All the guys: AWWWWWW

Meanwhile, in the real world:

CyberV: ...Darn it, it's too easy... Oh, the heck with it. I'm sure Legacy'll do it FOR me.

I just kid, Legacy. Really. It's all in good fun. Now put my Fantastic Four #51 DOWN and step back slowly.

Superman: hey Sue.... check out this bicep
Reed: hey wait a minute! no, hon... I'm buff too.... see... *droop* *droop*
Superman: man... you suck!

Wild Bill
Ben Grimm forgoes the usual "It's Clobberin' Time!" for the much less memorable catch phrase of "Eff this."

Superman: Galactus's hands are huge
Thing: Well, you now what they say about a man with big hands he has a big....
Mr. Fantastic: Thing! That's enough

Wild Bill
Galacus: "Fantastic Four! Your lives may have been spared...Had you given your Superman robot a costume of the proper hue! Honestly, dark blue? I've been following the Man of Steel's adventures for years, and this is far too much for me to bear! Next you'll actually tell me you think it's 'okay' for his hair to be parted on the left?!? Bah! Insolent humans! The eradication of this galaxy will be swift and horrible!"

Thing: "Somebody needs to get this guy a Zoloft..."

Galactus: Of all the creatures in the vastness of the universe, there is none like me. I was present at the birth of the universe, and I shall be there at its end. Though I ravage worlds to live, I bear no malice to any living thing. I simply do what I must to survive. And why must Galactus survive? For, no matter how many worlds I devour... How many civilizations I destroy... It is my destiny to one day give back to the universe - infinitely more than I have ever taken from it. So speaks Galactus.


Superman: I'm really sorry about this, guys...
Reed: What are you talking about?
Superman: Well, it's kinda my fault... eh... erm... heh.
Superman: Well, you see... it all happened a very long time ago... back when I met Galactus for the first time on the playground as kids.
Torch: *blink*
Superman Continues: Galactus happened to be over for breakfast one morning when a residual piece of the planet Krypton was discovered on a farm about 3 miles away. Knowing what sort of danger this could present, Pa Kent formulated a plan...
Reed: no... NOO! YOU??
Superman: Im really sorry...
Ben: What... ?
Reed: Dagh! You moron!
Ben: WHAT???
Superman: IM SORRY!
Reed: They fed it to him.... *shakes his head*
Torch: NO!
Ben: What the *H* does that mean??
Reed: They FED IT TO HIM!!! They FED the piece of Krypton to Galactus and forever since, he has had a taste for planetary substance!!
Superman: Pa said, "Give it to Galactus... He won't eat it... He hates everything..." *sniff*
Reed: But he liked it. HE LIKED IT!!! HEY GALACTUS!
Galactus: mmmm... planetary substance... aaaauuggghhh

Superman: You know who I hate? That big, stupid planet eating jerk, Galactus...he's right behind me, isn't he?

Superman: I will never serve you!
Galactus: Oh, what's the point? Every herald I ever create defies me, betrays me! How can I ever trust again.ever love again? (Breaks into song) So now go! Walk out the door! Don't turn around now! Cause you're not welcome anymore---
Superman: Oh my God, just kill us and be done with it!

Franklin is not pictured due to the fact that since he kept singing "He's a two eyed, no horned flying purple planet eater," Galactus made a point of eating him first.

Galactus: Foolish Kryptonian! So stubborn, just like your father, Jor-El!
Superman: You knew my father?
Galactus: Of course I did! He was delicious.

And that wraps up the Contest's tribute to the Fantastic Four. Thanks to everyone who participated and didn't start making voodoo dolls of me. Until next time, I remain

Aaron (CyberV) Thall

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