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*Brainiac looks at fire*
Homeless guy: AHHH!!! You just licked fire!
*Brainiac licks homeless guy*
Fire: AHHH!!! You just licked a homeless guy!
And the runner-ups:
Yeah, Brainiac was a down-on-his-luck robot, in a shanty town full of down-on-their-luck robots. It was the same old story:
You get the picture.
Brainiac: I see you up there in the corner Aaron Thall, and I am annoyed by the smug look on your face. You may judge this contest, but you will not be the judge of my supperior Kryptonian Mind and mettle.
Oh really? So why is it you get the stinky sweatsock award for the week? NOW GO AND EAT YON RANCID YOGURT!
Brainiac: Note to self...after I conquer the world...bathe the homeless.
Brainiac: A pox on you. And a pox on you. And a pox on.....
Brainiac - "Oh, thank you members of the Writers Guild for working me into the season before you worked yourselves out! Thank you, thank you!!!"
last man of krypton
Bum: Hey buddy, haven't seen you here before. What's your story?
Brainiac: I don't want anything more to do with this civilisation. I just want to stay as far away from any form of media as I can.
Bum: Woah, what happened to you?
Brainiac: ... I just read Spider-Man: One More Day.
Bum: Ah. Join us, brother.
Quoted for truth!
last man of krypton
Bum: Where you going?
Brainiac: I'm going to the Marvel comics offices. [pulling out comic] I want to show Joe Q what I'd do with One More Day. He won't sit down for a week.
My preference is to take one of the web shooters in stores and unload it down his throat.
MAC: Hi, I'm Mac.
PC: And I'm PC!
Brainiac's arms morph into spears and he stabs them both. Brainiac keeps wallking as they fall to the ground.