Superman - Red Son Premium Format Figure
What if Superman had been raised in the Soviet Union, to become their greatest weapon? Based on the hero of the critically acclaimed Elseworlds mini-series by Mark Millar, Sideshow Collectibles is proud to introduce Superman - Red Son Premium Format Figure.
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We got all xmas break
You got this stirloin steak (only word that rhymes with break)
One thing you'd like to do
De starro them
Call em your boo
One month of vacation
We'd like another caption
To start the new year on a bright note
I wrote a song to John mayer's "your body is a wonderland"
Starros gottin out of hand
He took out flippin superman
What is the world coming to?
I guess DC was running out of things to do
There's something about wonderwomans face
It looks like starro popped a baby on her face
Tambien to all the writers of this book
When I say this is the worst idea ever...
Do I have to tell a story
Of a thousand starry days since we first met
Oh its a big enough umbrella
But its always DC that ends up getting wet..
Line that sums up 2005:
Is it just me, or is the entire world screwed?
And the runner-ups:
Superman (half-heartedly): Oh no. Save us. Who will protect us from the crustaceans?
Aquaman: FINALLY! I can do something!
The Old Bum
The weird part isn't the little stars on everyone's faces. It's the fact that Starro is actually braiding Firestorm's hair.
STARRO: You are watching FOX!
JLA: WE ARE WATCHING FOOOOOOOOOXX...
Aaron puts his best foot forward in the competition for most disturbing use of phallic imagery in a caption contest image. Shudder....
Superman: We don't have much time! Batman, any ideas?
Green Lantern: What's a matter, Inspector Gadget? No "bat-spray" for mind controlling sea creatures?
Batman: No...but if I find some for a-holes, you'll be the first to know.
Starro: And now, my ultimate revenge! You will all be forced to watch Martha Stewart: the Apprentice!
Superman: Anyone else notice that the Starrodrones look like OMACs?
Aquaman: Aw man... My undersea sattelite to monitor heroes was doomed to failure!
Batman: ...Didn't you once get rescued by the Powerpuff Girls?
Aquaman: SHUT IT!
This brings a new meaning to All-Star Superman
Hawkman: Great. So I'm going to stand back here as space filler for the next week, and nobody's going to use me in their captions. And I've got this thing on my face. Whoopee.
Red Guy in the Cape: You think you've got problems? I'm such a lame character, even I don't remember who I am any more!
Aquaman: Don't worry everyone! I have crabs!
Wonder Woman: ...You shouldn't advertise things like that.
Aquaman: I mean to SAVE you!
Wonder Woman: ...Oh. Right.
Superman: Mindwipe away. PLEASE.
Great. The one friggin' time we need Aquaman and he couldn't even show up for the cover shot.
The funny part is if you actually read this comic, Starro sprays little baby starfish out of his tentacles. Out. Of. His. Tentacles. Nope, writer Gerry Conway didn't have any seminal issues here, you betcha, nosiree bob!
JLA (singing): "I can't take my eyes off of you!"
Starro: "Shut up!"
Starro (singing): "When you wish upon a star...."
JLA: "Shut up!"
Wonder Woman: You were right, Clark. It tastes TERRIBLE.
Superman: I told you, but did you listen? NOOOO...
Starro: You know the Goauld who hide in people's heads? WIMPS COMPARED TO ME
Can you find Waldo?
All The Smaller Starfish (To their hosts, in baby talk): I've got your nose! Yes I do! Yes I do! I've got your nose!
Batman's Starfish: Okay, let's see what we got here...(Attaches himself.) ...dude. You have issues.
Batman's Starfish (A little later...) Mommy!
Commercial ad: Are you suffering from blackheads or oily skin? Have no fear starro is here! Starro uses alien technology to wipe yourself of oily skin to make your skin feel peachy clean. Its Super approved! (Side effects may include, mind control or sudden death)
Starro: I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company
Slaves: (That's the song we hear)
Starro: I'd like to see the world for once
Slaves: (Let the world sing today)
Starro: All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For STARRO'S IRON TENTACLE
Slaves: To rule throughout the land!
Starro: Happy holidays, you bipedal b*st*rds!
That's just fun. I'm going to start yelling that at random in libraries and crowded elevators. Wherever awkward silence is found... STARRO!