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Superman: Earth One Vol. 3
The follow-up to the NEW YORK TIMES #1 bestselling graphic novels SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE VOL. 1 and 2 is here! Written by J. Michael Straczynski with art by Ardian Syaf, SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE VOL. 3 follows a young Clark Kent as he continues his journey toward becoming the World's Greatest Super Hero.
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[Jeph Loeb]: "Don't you SEE?! It's about the classic literary struggle, man vs. self! It's about exploring the Superman mythos in fresh and exciting ways! It's about... (sigh)... look, it's about seeing two Tom Wellings wrestle each other topless, okay?" [WB Executive]: "Well, why didn't you say so, Jeff? I think we can greenlight that episode after all!"
As good Clarks two halves did battle over who would destroy Lana, you had to ask yourself one question. -"Is LOST a repeat this week?"
You're Superman Blue!! No You Are!!!
Good Clark: Yes, Steve, we're wearing pants. Evil Clark: THE SAME SINGLE PAIR, YOU SICKO! Steve: ...Is it naughty if it actually happened on Smallville?
Clark: At least when this is over with, the spirit of the earth will give me back my old body! Clark 2: Wrong continuity, idiot.
Clark was not happy when he found out that it was he, during his most recent black out, who put yogurt in all of his socks.
Fortunately, daleadil happily accepted it. Then he ate the yogurt. Ew.
Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Freud.
Kal-El (choking Clark): The humans are flawed. Your attachment to them is keeping us from our true destiny. They have made you weak! Clark (struggling): That's not true! Kal-El: Oh yeah? May I present Exhibit AÖ. (pulls out a Special Edition DVD of Cheaper By The Dozen and begins tapping Clark on the head with it, taunting him.)
Neal Bailey: Welcome to this week's "Neal Baliey loves Annette O'Toole weekly caption contest" sponsored by The Superman Homepage. Steve Younis: I'm going to have to veto that title change. I already let you have your Rebecca Cyrus fun. Neal Bailey: Nertz.
Tom Welling playing the dual roles of Neal of Cyberv as they grapple for control of the caption contest judgement.
And as you can see... I AM VICTORIOUS! ...Until next week. Ah phooey.
Clark's attempt to add an ethicator to his duplicator goes horribly wrong when Hobbes accidentally points the arrow towards "evil."
Clark discovers the only person who can punish him for milking the tractor is - himself.
In the backgroung I could swear I heard a copymachine straining to print pinkslips....seriously.
Meanwhile, in the Mirror Universe, this was done with Lana, so we weren't allowed to use the picture.
Good Clark: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to watch "Man-Thing"! Bad Clark: It was atrocious! Do you want to give the WB execs more ideas for the Superman movie?! DO YOU?! Good Clark: But... Catwoman and Constantine had merits! Bad Clark: (smacks him) BAKA!
Again, I'm funnier than you are. ;)
[Kal]: Who's on first? [Clark]: Yes. [Kal]: I mean the fellow's name. [Clark]: Who. [Kal]: The guy on first. [Clark]: Who. [Kal]: The first baseman. [Clark]: Who. [Kal]: The guy playing... [Clark]: Who is on first! [Kal]: I'm asking YOU who's on first! [Clark]: That's the man's name. [Kal]: That's who's name? [Clark]: Yes. [Kal]: THAT'S IT! DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!
This was second place. Classic. Not that creative, but always funny.
Clark chokes Kal-El after Kal-El swipes the television remote and changes the channel to Power Rangers. From a channel that was displaying a test pattern, which Clark thought was more interesting.
I see... So being evil gave Clark taste? GO EVIL CLARK! BEAT THE NAMBY PAMBY POSER!
Kal-El: You know, Clark, two thirds of the people under the age of eighteen who split into good and evil halves regret it. Clark (gasping): I regret it already.
In an effort to enforce the "family friendly" policy of the caption contest, CyberV hunts down captioners who ignore his warnings and puts them in choke holds until they meet his demands. CyberV: Now take the yogurt sock and hit yourself with it!
Okay, I admit it. Sneaky's pretty funny. But not ready for prime time yet.
And that's it for this week. Neal's back next week, so, in honor of keeping Superman out of costume on Smallville, I felt a special picture was in order. Remember the rules, boys and girls. No profanity or non-family friendly comments. Offenders will have their comment removed, and the poster will be either warned, banned, or forced to watch episodes of "Tom goes to the Mayor" until they beg for a swift death. At which point, we switch to Super Milk Chan to finish them off slowly.
See you in two weeks, everyone! AND FEAR THE RANCID YOGURT FILLED SMELLY SOCK OF DOOM!
Aaron (CyberV) Thall