February 3, 2005: Caption Contest

Winner:
cyberv
Clark: You milked the tractor. Now you pay with your life.

The runner-ups:

neal bailey
Whitney lettered in bridal carries

BossThreads
No Wayne, we can't end the movie like this. Let's do the Scooby Doo Ending.

Gislef
"Say, Whitney, did you know that two thirds of the people who have sex under the age of eighteen regret doing it too soon?" "Why, no Clark, I didn't. Thanks for telling me!"

Gislef
"Say, Whitney, did you know that two thirds of the people who are in flaming car wrecks regret doing it too soon?" "Why, no Clark, I didn't. Thanks for sharing!"

Gislef
"Hey...Clark...did anybody ever...tell you not to...move car-crash victims...with...possible...spinal injuries? Ouch!"

JasonSpidey
Whitney: Dude...where's...my car?

DarkSuperman
Clark: And IIIIIIIIII...IIIIIIIIII will always...love youuuuuuuuuuu....." Whitney: Wrong Whitney, Clark.

JasonSpidey
Clark (turning to camera): When I'm pulling someone from a burning car wreck, I make sure that I'm always wearing my Carhartt jacket. It's so tough, it's like being made of steel! So, whether you fell from the sky in a rocketship and were adopted by lower-middle class farmers or just want a coat that will keep you warm, grab yourself a Carhartt today. Carhartt - the choice of rural teen-age superpeople everywhere.

A bit long, but dangit, being a construction guy, I like Carhartt. And I loves poking fun at product placement. Send me some swag, Carhartt!!

JasonSpidey
Whitney: Quality...is...job...one? My...rear...

You have to have owned a Ford...and I did. Once. ONCE! (With Piscopo expression)

cyberv
Clark: (thinking) I swear, the first person that says we're a lovely couple BURNS.

cyberv
Clark: God, two weeks of pictures easily misconstrued for gay subtext. It HAS to be some kind of evil plot. CyberV: (whistles innocently) I had nothing to do with it. Promise.

For the record, Cyberv and I filtered through my batch of potential selections and he helped pick (which you can do, too, if you IM me, check my profile). So he essentially had something to do with it, which is why this is funny.

CARDE85
Clark holds Whitney's dead body after Whitney gave his life trying to defeat the Anti-Monitor.

cyberv
Clark: Okay, Jason? You'll allow violent car crashes, massacres, murderers and other depracity, but absolutely NO gay jokes, right? Just making sure.

Graphic and deplorable violence is okay, as long as there are no dirty words. Know your South Park. It's not my world, I just ($*%ing dance in it, baby. You want it uncensored, YOU answer the letters from angry moms.

sneakymonkey
(Cue theme from Officer and a Gentleman): "Love lift us up where we belong..."

sneakymonkey
It was ironic. Though Tom Welling's acting had never been applauded, he had to "carry" Eric Johnson through every scene they shared. (And far, far away Sneakmonkey giggles in his office. Unbeknownst to him, a giant hook appears from stage left, inching towards him. suddenly it hooks his neck and pulls him away from his computer...)

sneakymonkey
"Brown belt and black shoes?! Then, die as you deserve too!"

Note to potential Old Spice winners...I am an absolute SUCKER for movie Zod.

sneakymonkey
Even though he saved Whitney's life, it would be only fifteen minutes further into the episode that Lana would blame Clark for "losing her ride to the Talon."

Shalamarke
Whitney: Hey, uh... the bad resize on this pic is giving me a headache! I feel squished! Can someone please not resize me in the browser? I struggle to be FREE I tellz ya - FREE! Help! I'm being oppressed! Literally! Sort of...

This is the ONE thing I update all by myself on the site. So if you wanna give me HTML lessons, go for it! :) I go 425 width pretty universally, because I think typing anything else will break my head. Just kidding. I'll be more careful. ;)

Shalamarke
LOTR Fan Tom Welling was so disappointed that Peter Jackson didn't include the scouring of the Shire, he decided to film it himself and send it in for the Extended Version DVD. Unfortunately, none of his footage was accepted and the Shire remains unscoured in Jackson's interpretations.

Rarely do I wish to wax philosophy in the caption contest, but GOOD GOD, how could they NOT have done the scouring of the Shire? I mean, that was my favorite part. Yeah, you're heroes. But I, Tolkein, will ruin your village as a reward! Great examples of heroes suffering, and yet, gone. Bupkis. Curse you for making me think!

Shalamarke
Clark: *running* I've gotta git Bubbaaa!

I love this one:

sneakymonkey
Catching a glimpse of his own hair, Clark started to suspect that he was not from Krypton at all, but possibly from Remulak. That would explain why he had a six pack of beer and forty pancakes for breakfast.

sneakymonkey
Conehead.

It's funny because, you know, Sneaky is kind enough to assume I am not geek enough to know where Remulak is in the scheme of things, that I may perhaps not be a huge fan of some obscure SNL skit, that I wouldn't know the home planet of what was once a five minute joke on Saturdays in the 70s and 80s. Sigh. Thanks for the thought...but I knew.

supergirl21
Whitney: Why does my breath taste minty? Oh, well. At least I am not dressed as Michael Jackson.

Shalamarke
Whitney: Im sorry I asked you to show me a heat vision colonic. I really am...

supergirl21
[The Next Day] Martha Kent: Your father and I are disappointed in you, Clark. Marriage is sacred. We thought we had taught you that. Clark: But mom, how was I supposed to know that Whitney was going to drug me with red kryptonite?

Shalamarke
After reading all of this week's comments, Neal passes out and has to be carried away.

Phew! No kidding. I've been reading for an hour and a half just to get to here!

sneakymonkey
Steve Younis carrying Neal Bailey aways from his PC, after nearly 400 caption entries, 4 weeks in a row, the strain finally blows poor Neal's retinas out of the sockets.

Avvvuh? Azzuh? Boodily? Cruuuuuuuuuhhhhhh....CRACK! (shakes head) Oh. Okay. Here I am.


Caption Contest Archives