Caption Contest
April 8, 2006: Caption Contest
Winners:
JasonSpidey
Chloe: Just hang in there, okay? You did it, Clark. You saved the network. You saved everyone.
Clark: (whispering) I know, Chloe. Isn't it cool?
(He dies.)
And the runner-ups:
sneakymonkey
Hey, look! He actually does wear his dad's watch! And now he's wearing Chloe's too!
sneakymonkey
And Clark finally learns the limits of his own strength, when he attempts to carry the lousy writing of Season Five, and gives himself a compound hernia.
ARM
Clark: (in pain) AUGGHHH!! Chloe...why????
Chloe: This is for keeping secrets from me for so long.
Clark: But you KNOW my secret!
Chloe: Only because of a teleportation, homicidal b$%#%. YOU never told me.
Clark: OMG! You must be under the influence of something.....You're acting like LANA!!
whatchel
D@mn Kryptonian kidney Stones
D@mn regular kidney stones! I've had three.
sneakymonkey
Clark: Thank goodness you arrived! I was going to kill Lex! I was totally hypnotized by Simone's jewels!
Chloe: Yeah, her pendant possessed some kind of magical powers!
Clark: Oh. Right. Her pendant...
SmallvilleCK
Chloe: Clark, I am your father.
Clark (falls on ground): Noooo!
wyrm11
Chloe: Who's your daddy???
Clark: Jo..AAHHHH...CHLOEEEEEEE!!!!
dragon22a
Clark: well its finally happened lana complained so much that she gave me a kryptonian embolism.
Chloe: i told you to turn off that super hearing of yours when she starts to rant.
sneakymonkey
Clark: Chloe's...references too obscure...brain...seizing...
Chloe: Clark! Don't go all "Flowers For Algernon" on me now!
Clark: Gaah! I'll see you and Dennis Miller in hell!
Poor, poor Charlie.
approuty
Clark: OOOWWW!!!!! How are you doing that?!?!
Chloe: I never told you before...I am really...LIVEWIRE!!!!
CinemaGuy1
So that's why Tom Welling wanted to direct an episode...
Supermanspal
What do I look like, a tractor?!
sneakymonkey
Clark: If you're looking for Gough and Millar's heads, you might wanna check their own @$$%$ first.
sneakymonkey
Clark: Brainiac...message from Zod...wedgie!!!
Chloe: Shh. Don't try to talk. Just relax. Almost...think I've got it...yep. We have Fruit of the Loom! Won't be long now, Clark.
kal911
What do you mean i'm infringing on Superboy copyrights?!?! OH MY GOD!! THE STUPIDITY...IT HURTS!!!! HOLY CRAP IT HURTS SO BAD!!!
last man of krypton
comicartist
greatn
CinemaGuy1
kal_el_87
Clark: I need some of that Pepto-Bismol! You know, the stuff that helps Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea! Hey, Pepto-Bismol! Now!
JasonSpidey
Steve then does to me what the picture suggests.
JasonSpidey
It was CLOSE. You guys gotta watch it. Not you, JS, just, YOU GUYS. Don't get me killed!
JasonSpidey
JasonSpidey
It's the fear of action figures. Fear. Fear will keep the local systems in line!
sneakymonkey
sneakymonkey
Clark: Oh that? I did that for fun. With that hairless dome of his he's so aerodynamic. He's like a brooding, pasty javelin.
JasonSpidey
sneakymonkey
Gislef
Gislef
Your Jason sucks...uh, Supernatural in UPN!
Red Hobbes
Awesomest in-joke EVER. I was gonna put "Critic" in the Smallville wiki episode guide, but I didn't want to get wiki-banned. Which is a lot like the above picture, only with Roger Ebert.
Chefsim
YES!
johnnyfog
ALLISON: "Yeah, it's heart-wrenching. You're such a good actor! Just keep that face. Now put your hand here..."
TOM: "Ow...like this?"
ALLISON: "Good, keep that pose."
TOM: "This is a little uncomf--"
ALLISON: "Ok, Kristen, take the picture!!
*flashbulb*
KRISTEN: "Yoink! This is your new myspace photo!"
TOM: "What the---YOU'RE SO DEAD!!"
actionace1982
johnnyfog
Director: "Cut! Print!"
Chloe: "Now where did I lay those handcufs...?"
BostonCape
Creative!
Spoon AZ
sneakymonkey
Chloe: Oh. Right. Sorry.
sneakymonkey
Superman899
sneakymonkey
last man of krypton
sneakymonkey
Chloe: Oh, so now they catch on? We've been flatlining twelve episodes a season. (Rimshot.)
super surfer
Gokitalo
*Neal walks in and points at Clark*
Neal: "Why do you say this to her when you know I shall only kill you for it?! I am Zod! ZOOOD!!! YOU WILL KNEEL BEFORE ME, SON OF JOR-EL!!! ZOOOOOOD!!!!!!!"
Clark
Lex: Actually, I don't think I will give you any more money. Get out.
Clark: Oh, God! It hurts! It HURTS!
Chloe: Stop your whining, most actors would be thrilled to be picked up for another season.
Clark: Agh! My one weakness?
Chloe: Kryptonite?
Clark: No! Deus ex Machina!
*snaps gloves*
Chloe: Can I get you anything?
Steve Younis: (head falling into hands) Jesus f***ing Christ, Neal.
This contest is SO getting pulled.
Who wants action figures!
Chloe: Don't worry, Clark. I'll make the kryptonite go away.
(She pulls a gun from her purse, levels iut at him)
Clark: What...are...you doing?!?
Chloe: Remember? The kryptonite effects are neutralized once you die. Hold still.
Clark: That's...the dumbest...thing..I've ever he-
BLAM!
Clark doubles over in pain when Superboy Prime punches the Time Slot and knocks Smallville back to Wednesday nights. On the up side, the entire cast of One Tree Hill exploded.
Chloe: Clark, you've been hypnotized! You just threw Lex clear across the room!
Clark learns that it doesn't matter what planet you come from - nobody can take a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the gut.
Clark: Aaugh. The pain!
Chloe: Face it, Lana, you're amazing!
Clark: What the heck are you talking about?!
Chloe: I don't even know anymore.
Despite her knowledge of the Heimlich Maneuver, Chloe couldn't help when Clark finally gagged on his relationship with Lana.
"The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!"
Fallout from the filming of "Critic."
Chloe: HOUSE!
TOM: "Ow, Allison, are you sure I would make this face if I'd been hit by kryptonite?"
Hold still Clark...I've almost got it. So I guess the President of DC Comics wasn't kidding when he told you where he was gonna shove that file on the Siegel lawsuit!!!
Allison: "Mmm--HUH?? Cameras? Oh crap, are we doing this public service thing today? AHEM...right! Sex is no laughing matter and should be discussed with adults! If someone's making you feel pressured remember that dangers are out there and you need to stay responsible! Smallville cares!"
Chloe: This is Spinal Tap!
Scene from Clark Pow: Enter the Chloe's Fist.
Clark: Chloe. The kryptonite is in there. My pocket doesn't go any deeper. You can take your hand out now.
What "putting up tarps" is code for.
Allison: Nope, no ratings in here.
For those of you that actually believe this to be a completely innocent scenario, consider: Just off screen, Lex is staggering about engulfed in flames.
Chloe: You ready for the serum, Clark?
Clark: Ready. I must speak to my father again.
Jonathan Kent: Hello, son.
Clark: You died because of me. Jor-El told me there'd be a price, the life of someone I love. I'm so sorry.
Jonathan: It's alright Clark... I'm so very proud that I died protecting you.
Clark: ...actually, you died protecting Lana. Jor-El decided to take her life, and I bargained with him to let him take your life instead.
Jonathan: You stupid son of a *****.
Clark: Chloe, I just can't take the criticism anymore. They've been saying that we ripped off "Flatliners".
Chloe: Clark, I TOLD you not to eat that hot dog from the street vendor, but would you listen to me? NOOOOOOOOH. So now you're just gonna hafta suffer.
Chloe: "Clark! What happened?"
Clark: "Get out of here... before he... comes back..."Caption Contest Archives