Superman: Earth One Vol. 3
The follow-up to the NEW YORK TIMES #1 bestselling graphic novels SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE VOL. 1 and 2 is here! Written by J. Michael Straczynski with art by Ardian Syaf, SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE VOL. 3 follows a young Clark Kent as he continues his journey toward becoming the World's Greatest Super Hero.
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Kara: Sure, Kryptonian names have meanings just like Earth names. For example; your name, "Kal-El", means "Star Child".
Clark: Cool. What does "Jor-El" mean?
And the runner-ups:
Batman: Dang it, Alfred!!! Stop letting blonde chicks into the cave!!!! Stop it, just stop!!!!!
Kara; Do you see what I see?
Clark: Yeah... Neal Bailey has taken over Aaron's body and using Aaron's avatar as his own!!!!
Next stop, Earth-51!
Laura: "You will go on to do great things."
Tom: "You mean I got the part of SUperman in the new JLA film?!"
Gough: "Cut! Cut! Frickin' CUT!"
Remember why we've been sent into the deepest recesses of these caves: to find some Caption Contest images that AREN'T Smallville related.
It's going to take all of our combined powers. Somebody buried them really deep.
We DO accept submissions.
Blond girl: Burce, why didn't you...
Clark: Sorry, Bruce is the next cave over. I'm Clark Kent.
Girl: Oh, sorry.
Clark: Are you... my mom?
Clark: Are you... my sister?
Clark: Score. Want to make out?
Kara: C'mon Clark, enough of this Big Blue Boy Scout stuff. I'm going to turn you into a Man Scout.
Clark: Um, that just sounds weird.
I became a manscout back in 'nam.
Kara: There are two things you should know about me. You did have a cousin named Kara on Krypton. Jor-El infused an appoximation of her personalty, and temporary Kryptonian powers, into a Terrestrial human body.
Clark: So we're not really related? (Grinning) That's the best news I've heard all day! What's the other thing?
Kara: It was a dead body.
Clark: See, when bosons collide at near-light speed they tend to produce anti-higgs. The anti-higgs then collide with muons to produce metrons. The problem is that since you need two bosons travelling at near light speed to create one anti-higg, and less than one out of 134 bosons travel that fast, you need to have at least 268 bosons to each muon to get a 99% efficiency in your metron production.
Kara: Oh, baby! I love it when you talk physics to me!
Kara: I'm your cousin Kara from Krypton!
Clark: You're from Krypton!
Leslie Nielsen: I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.
Once Clark is close enough to the portal in the cave wall to be sucked into the portal, Jor-El kills Kara.
Ghost of Obi Wan: That Kara was our last hope.
Yoda (closing eyes): No. There is...another.
Kara: Sorry to interrupt your cave brooding Clark, but one of those phantom zone critters you unleashed just trashed Manhattan Island.
Oh, don't give them any more ideas for another concept to rip off...