Justice League: Gods and Monsters [Blu-ray]
In an alternative history Zod is Superman's father, Batman is a vampiric Man-Bat, and Wonder Woman is the child of Ares, God of War. When these dark heroes form an alliance, the question everyone asks is will they save the world, or rule it?
Also available on DVD.
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"Take that, bottled city of Kandor! Now I AM the last Kryptonian!"
And the runner-ups:
One of the many sequel ideas that were scrapped in the last minute: Superman gets super-whipped.
Superman and Lois were extra cautious as they put the finishing touches on their pound cake. After all, the cake was to be delivered to Superman Homepage headquarters, and given the milk it had been made with, they knew they were playing with fire.
Lois: Stop it, Superman! What are you doing to my cat?!
Superman: Your cat? But I thought it was some alien monster that had broken out of my interplanetary zoo!
Though the Salkinds were known for stretching a budget cheesecloth thin, the idea to make the weekly Superman television series a domestic drama was indeed a new low.
You didn't see Lois and Clark?
Lois: I wonder if Peter Griffin ever does something like this for his wife?
Cut to the Griffins from 'Family Guy'.
Peter: Hey, that's our act! We're the ones who talk about you all the time, not the other way around!
Today on "When Superheroes Get the Munchies"...
Superman: "Uh...uuuh...Oh man, it's totally reading my thoughts right now..."
Lois: "A minute ago it was dough, man, but then it like transmogrificized into cake...That's like...physics..."
Superman: "Heh, boson."
Unfortunately, ten seconds after this picture was taken, there was a solar flare, causing Superman's little parlor trick to end in disaster. I won't go into details, but from then on, Lois Lane was Superman's sworn enemy, carrying out her vendetta against the Man of Steel under the nom de guerre, Baroness Bundtface.
And once they're done eating, Superman can rip a plastic 'S' from his chest to wrap the leftover's in! Is there anything this guy can't do in the kitchen? He's like a Martha Stewart from beyond the stars...
Announcer: After the commercial break, General Zod will show us how to make a quick and tasty Balsamic vinegarette seasoning with diced mushrooms that anyone can make, while Ursa shows us the finer points of making pizza! Stay tuned!
Al Gough: Well, there goes our season premiere...
Before this scene was deleted from Superman IV the original title was known as Superman IV: The Quest for Quiche.
"What's that, magic talking cake? You want me to kill all humans?"
JOR-EL IS CAKE!
If you think Superman gets angry when he battles Zod, imagine what happens when his keisch collapses.
With great powers come great recipes.
Superman: Ta da! A sweet cake! But not half as sweet as you, Lois!
Lois (chuckling politely): Heh. That's cute. Where's your bathroom?
(Lois walks off. Suddenly Jor-El's holographic head appears.)
Jor-El (all echoey): My son! I have tried to teach you the ways of Earth so that you may live among them! As a scientist, I feel I have succeeded. But as a father, I feel I have failed you. Because you have absolutely no game. None. Except for the flying bit. And let's face it, you really should be able to get alot more miles off of that move than you do...
Super pimpin' ain't easy.
After his breakthrough role, the cake's buzz in Hollywood just seemed to fizzle. He played the lead in a failed disaster picture, then seemed immediately relegated to the Blockbuster circuit, starring in C grade action fodder and knock offs of more succesful films, then eventually settled into a role on the Hulk Hogan vehicle, Thunder in Paradise, where he played the gruff but kind-hearted bartender/Marina owner. He now runs an actors studio/zen retreat in La Vista, California.
It's true. I've been there.
Lois: You can heat up a cake but you can't get me something to warm me up in your arctic fortress?
Clark: I could set you on fire, you know.
Lois: It's cozy in here.
ZOD: "Here me son of Jor-el! I am ZOD! I will....Oh, dude, are you making a souffle?" *souffle starts to dip*
Superman: "I was. *watches as it falls*. Really! THANKS A LOT!"
ZOD: "Sorry man...I'll go...I'll go wait outside."
By contrast, Bizarro chills an excellent gazpacho.
If this were Smallville, Clark would finish baking the cake, then throw it through a wall on suspicion that it was attempting to subvert Lana.
I'm not saying this trick is lame, but Superman performed the same act on the Lawrence Welk show while Lois played "The Girl From Ipanema" on the xylophone.
It was completely out of character when Superman developed a temporary case of xenophobia, but when Yeas-tar of the Cake People decided to reveal himself and declared that he had come in peace, Superman freaked the #%#& out and killed him.