Justice League: Gods and Monsters [Blu-ray]
In an alternative history Zod is Superman's father, Batman is a vampiric Man-Bat, and Wonder Woman is the child of Ares, God of War. When these dark heroes form an alliance, the question everyone asks is will they save the world, or rule it?
Also available on DVD.
Superman - Red Son Premium Format Figure
What if Superman had been raised in the Soviet Union, to become their greatest weapon? Based on the hero of the critically acclaimed Elseworlds mini-series by Mark Millar, Sideshow Collectibles is proud to introduce Superman - Red Son Premium Format Figure.
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Superman: "How many times have you been struck by lightning?"
Superman; "Wow, nine times?"
Batman: "Nine-Nine-Ninety Nine times.....Inna-Inna-Inna-Inna-Inna HEAD"
Yeah. It's even funnier if you give him Rain Man's voice for it. And here's everyone else that came oh-so-close.
And the runner-ups:
And they say lightning and lions never strike at the same time twice - sheesh.
Robin: Holy lion's head, Batman!
Batman: No one likes when you say that, Boy Wonder.
Robin: I thought it was endearing!
Superman: You're dressed in bright colors fighting a lion, kid.
Lion: Even I can't stand it!
Al - Miles! Check out this cool cover to one of the old World's Finest issues!
Miles - Gee, that's zany!
Al - What if we did something like that on Smallville, where Chloe, Lois, and Lana get Clark's powers after being exposed to chartruse kryptonite and decide to form a Super Trio of Superwomen! And! Let's say that they have to protect Clark from a meteor freak who can shoot focused magnetic waves and form magnetic fields after being exposed to two magnets and a bunch of kryptonite! How will Clark deal with all of this and can Johnathon give him any advice to deal with the situation? And! Let's say that Lex suspects something is going on but has to deal with four liars now instead of one?
Wouldn't that be awesome?
Miles - Passive aggressivism, zany plot, zany explanation for meteor freak's origin, Clark feeling blue, fatherly advice, curious Lex... LET'S DO IT! I'm sure everyone will love it! We can air it after the episode where Clark and Lana encounter a monkey with powers similar to Clark's!
Al - Brilliant!
Miles - Brilliant!
What? I can't appreciate a good reference to a funny commercial series? I DO miss the toast at the end though.
Superman: Y'know, Cyberv, when it's your week to judge, once, just once, could I look cool in the picture pick? I mean the kid in the green speedo and Peter Pan slip ons is kicking more butt than me.
...No. No you can't. Because that isn't as funny as humiliating you every chance I get. Now give sneaky back his computer and take your punishment like a man.
That's one thing I love about the caption contest. Work of the artists and writers from the yesterdays of DC's illustrious past are unearthed and displayed for a new generation of comic fans to discover. And mock mercilessly.
In the not to distant future, next Sunday, A.D., there was a guy named Joel...
Shortly after being hit by the lightning...Batman also gained the ability to travel as fast as the Flash...while Robin was served as a steak dinner several lion cubs
Now be fair... Robin would be more like Veal.
Superman: Woot! We've swapped powers. Keys. Batmobile. Now.
Superman: I have no powers! Excellent! No 'faster than a speeding bullet' comments from Lois anymore...
This one just gets props for making the same joke my poem "Superman" did.
EVERYONE STOP THE TRACTOR JOKES THEY WERE NEVER FUNNY AND WE"RE ALL SICK OF HEARING THEM>> WHY WONT THEY GO AWAY!?
Ladies and gents, this one just won the Wavy Hair award for having no sense of humor whatsoever. Now go milk tractors until you apologize, mister!
Superman of Earth-2: "You see, Kara? This is the true world, the world we must bring back. This corrupted world must be destroyed and forgotten in order to restore things to the way they should be."
Power Girl: "What, dorky dialogue, corny plots, and adults with the power of gods and the intellects of eight-year olds? No, thank you. I think I'll take OMACs and Doomsdays anyday."
Several minutes later, after the Dynamic Duo are laying on the ground, more blood showing than skin or clothes...
Superman: Looks more like the Reversible Heroes to me.
Batman: You're a jerk.
Superman: I know.
If you enlarge this picture, you can see that the price of this comic was 10 cents. Which tells me that somebody, somewhere, owes allota people allota dimes...
Superman: "Looks like you didn't fall for my practical joke after all, Batman!"
Batman: "It's a good thing we always carry Krytonite X in our belts, right Robin?"
*Robin lies on the floor, motionless*
Batman: "Oh wait. I forgot to get Robin his own piece of Kryptonite X..."
*Batman and Superman look at Robin's corpse, then at each other*
Batman: "...Joker. It was the Joker."
Superman: Sike! AH ha, ah ha, you guys should have seen the looks on your guys face when I told you had my powers.......Guys?
*Batman and Robin lay on the ground with a leg twitching*
*Superman slowly backs away whistling with his hands in his pockets*
Infinite Crisis #7 Cover. The issue centers on the events of Earth:Crap.
Batman: "You must really be the man of steel, considering the lightning was going to strike you and not the metal cage over there."
Hmmm... Lousy pun AND nit-picking in the same caption? Why, it's a winner for the Stinky Sock Award! Congrats! Now go get funny.
Superman: I bet Captain America never has days like this.
Batman: Remember "Cap Wolf"?
Superman: ...Well, at least I FEEL better now.
Batman: Let's hurry up and get your powers back. I'm late to my daily mourning of my parents and my usual lonely life.
Superman: HI! I'm surprisingly chipper for a guy whose planet blew up, and I'm sleeping with a hot co-worker!
Batman: ...I hate you.
Hijinks ensued when Superman convinced Batman and Robin that they had gained his powers and he had lost his. Of course, this cover fails to capture the cruel, cruel aftermath of two panels later with Batman as a toasted corpse and Robin gnawed to death.
Batman, as he dies: I- [ZAP!]
Superman: Huh. I guess that was anticlimatic.
Robin: AUGH! MY SPLEEN!
I am the Earth-2 Superman, and I resolve that things have gotten too dark in the DC universe and that we should go back to fun happy-go-lucky stories like this one...ahh, screw it. Even I got to admit this was one of my lamest stories. I'm getting Lois deaged and then I'm out of here, folks.