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Superman: PSSSSSSST, hey Lex. Lex: What is it? Supes: Try to get them all behind this piece of paper, it takes away theire powers and turns them into ordinary human beings. Lex: Oh, O.K. sure. Lex walks over to General Zod. Lex: DOn't go behinds that piece of paper general it's a trap. That piece of paper turns people like you, into people like me. Lex turns to see that Superman is holding up a piece of paper with lex's name on it. Lex: D$m% it. General Zod: I have no more use for this one, kill him.
Second place ties:
Superman: After six years I return to find this.. this.. this... my nemisis reduced to a man hiding behind a piece of paper and not in some elaborate underground lair..
Lex, horrified at Superman's return attempts to hide behind a paper he found on the street, little did he know what was on the paper.
Lex, surprised and caught off-guard by Supermans sudden appearance from a 6-yr absence, slips into the psychological age of a 2 year old and forgets that if you hide your face you're not invisible. Superman, however, is not amused...
In keeping with Super Kiss (SII), Super Regeneration Vision (SIV), Super Plastic Net Shield (SII), and so on, Bryan Singer decided he ought to throw in a new superpower himself. Realising how difficult it is to come up with new superpowers, he scrapped that idea, his best effort being a sort of label-maker he dubbed "Name Vision".
Superman: Nice beret. Are you french now?
Lex: I like to think so.
Superman: Then surrender.
All of France: ...HEY!
Lex: oh no! a man in a blue leotard and pleather cape is after me! what ever shall I do!? *puts paper up in front of his face while he chuckles"
Superman:....funny... hows that rogain going for you by the way?
Lex: oh god... this is the guy that is going to beat me? he looks like a 12 year old in spandex.... gross...
Superman:...*thinks*.... heat vision colonic it is then!
Lex: This'll hide me!
Lex: Oh crap! I forgot about x-ray vision!
Lex: The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist. And poof. Just like that, Lex Luthor's gone. Superman: Um, Lex...you're trying to hide behind a piece of paper. I can still see you. Lex: Nope. I'm pretty sure you can't. I've completely vanished without a trace.
In a desperate attemt to hide from Superman now that he's returned from space, the Kent's tractor dons a hat and holds up a sign that reads 'Lex' in a vain attempt to keep from being milked.
Superman: If you're trying to conceal your identity, I would think an iron mask would work better than just a piece of paper. Lex: Good idea! (Puts on an iron mask with "Lex" written across the forehead.) Superman (rolling eyes): Much better.
Hmmm. Flashback humor.
Procution Assistant (handing Kevin Spacey the piece of paper): Just in case people might be confused as to what character a middle aged bald man in an expensive suit on the set of a Superman movie might be playing, here's this nifty sign, Mr. Spacey.
Assistant: Bad news Mr. Singer, the producers have cut our buget in half.
Singer: What does that mean for the movie?
Assistant: Well, for one thing we're not going to be able to afford the full-size S logo.
Singer: That's not too bad, anything else?
Assistant: Yeah, Kevin Spacey's outside our budget now so we're going to have to settle for Phil the boom mike operator with a "Lex" sign on his face.
Singer: *sigh*...Oh well, at least he'll be able to out-act Bosworth.
Since the days when they were just boys, Lex always was a sucker for a good game of Peek-a-boo.
Superman: where's Lex, I can't...Oh there you are PEEK-A-BOO!
Redesigned, overly elaborate Superman costume: $10,000/suit.
Four fake city blocks in Australia: $15,000,000.
Academy Award-winning Actor: $10,000,000.
Realizing that you left your doubles back in Los Angeles: priceless.
There are some things money can't buy. But Lex Luthor hasn't found them yet. Mastercard.
How people from Krypton see faces.
You should see where it says 'Luthor.'
Oh boy, please don't ban me.
Very well, Cinema Guy, ruler of Australia. You live because you made me laugh.
Brandon: Poor Kevin Spacey, so tired of being photographed. Woe, the burden of being a famous actor, being hounded constantly by paparazzi, with nothing to console him but his millions of dollars. (Snatches paper.) Smile for the camera, you jerk!
Kevin Spacey: "Brandon, do you know why the number 10 is so vitally descriptive of both you and me?"
Brandon: "No, why?"
Spacey: "It's how many millions I'm making for this and how many people had heard of you before this."
These pictures next to each other . . . make . . . no . . . sense. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but lives on the planet Endor, then these pictures make no sense! Think about that. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee -- an eight foot tall Wookiee -- want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with the captioning of these pictures? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with it! It does not make sense. Captioning these pictures . . . does . . . not . . . make . . . sense!
Then why did you? (DEEP VOICES:) GUILTY! GUILTY! GILLLLL TAY!
Lex: So what have you learned from your trip through space, Superman? Superman: Well, interestingly enough, I came upon a planet that, having received satellite transmissions from planet Earth, became fascinated with you and began to base their whole culture on your life. Everyone is named either Lex or Luthor, and there are mighty statues of you erected in front of temples built in your honor. Lex: Ah, finally a planet with some taste! I can't believe it! Superman: You shouldn't, because I'm kidding. The general consensus of the universe is that you're an a-hole.
You just gave me the idea...blame you in the future...when I finally get to write the Superman comics, mark me...THE RETURN OF LEXOR!
As Superman mercilessly beats Lex Luthor for killing Lois Lane, he suddenly snaps out of the illusion Max Lord had controlled him with and sees a broken and bloody fifth-string Justice Leaguer, Paper Face lying at his feet, his face simply displaying the word, "OUCH." When later questioned on his motives for this attack, seeing as Paper Face posed no real threat to his plan, Max replied, "Yeah, but Paper Face just really sucked."
Possessed of a vanity that knows no bounds, Lex attempts to make out with his own name.