2008 Merchandise & Miscellaneous News Archives

Al Gore

July 31, 2008: Al Gore is Jor-El

TheOnion.com has posted an article that portrays Al Gore as Jor-El in reference to his warnings about climate change...

    "I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"

    Al Gore - or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al - placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.

    "There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."

You can read the complete article at TheOnion.com.



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