Superman on Television

Smallville: Episode Reviews

Season 3 - Episode 16: "Crisis"

Reviewed by: Neal Bailey

Main Points:

  • Adam Knight's run out of anti-death serum, and is that boy mad!
  • Clark receives a phone call from the next day via a Kryptonite telephone line.
  • No, that last line is not a joke.
  • Adam dies horribly of, well, death, while trying to kill Lana. Clark stops him.
  • Lionel Luthor has inoperable cancer, and considers (or ended up) killing himself.


    Well, that's it. Five weeks off. Five weeks of top five episodes, perhaps. None of which include Hourglass. But I'm not bitter. Okay, I am. Anyone who thinks that Nicodemus beats Hourglass is nuts. Or a fifteen-year-old boy with hours to click away to see a shot of Lana's buttonia that one can download in about five seconds with the right knowledge.

    A little bitter.

    A preliminary note, maybe it should go in business, but hey, why not? I got a letter a few days ago, figured I'd share it with you, because I get a few similar, and I'm withholding the name to be nice. Spelling errors remain.

    Heres a bit of criticism:

      See instead of spouting a lot of crap, just write the review, a few jokes is ok but when I was reading the review of Season 3 - Episode 15: "Resurrection" I got so bored of trying to filter out all the crap that in the end I just gave up.

      Sorry, just my humble opinion


    Now, usually folks put this a little more poignantly, but the gist is that here I am verbose, in the reviews. Or rather, not verbose, more long-winded.


    However, let me put it this way. I started this Smallville review three years ago with simple, barely one page long summations that poked no fun and offered little more than a regard of the acting, which is all but understood now, and the plot as regarded for continuity. Then I had a little fun, got a few people to respond, and went from one page reviews to ten, from receiving maybe a piece of mail about this review to more than 60 each week now with maybe five or so letters like the above. And those five are mostly anonymous folk who like to take a pot shot at guys who they don't know or understand, so they call their work crap and get on with their day. The rest are just gold. And why do I get them? I like to think because I inspire dialogue with my longer reviews.

    Why is this in the main review? Well, because every single piece of criticism comes with some grain of truth, even if it does call something crap without listing it, so I've decided to implement something I've been thinking of for a while: The SUPER SHORT SMALLVILLE REVIEW. It's where I summarize what I've written in the review for people who don't have high school level reading patience to sit through ten pages, or for the honest literary critics who feel that I take too long to reach the point. You get the fun of reading the review in two seconds if you don't like my long reviews, and I get to revel in the irony that in order to solve the problem of my review being too long, I've now added more to it. MWU HA HA! Joke's on you!

    So look for that at the bottom. That's why it's in the main review, not business, because really, it's not about the episode yet, but it will be.

    On with the show!

    I still don't know where I stand on this episode. Usually, when I start writing reviews, I can just give a preliminary regard in my chat with the folks who come after the show to talk with me and then work with that, but right now, I'm torn. It has the resolution of a lot of good issues, and the presentation of a number of bad. Is it okay to like the really good aspects of the show and not let the bad drag it down? For instance, since I care little for freaks, their continued presentation, or their power derivation, but I love Lex Luthor subplots and the continued prospect of Superman developing as a character, if I truly love the parts I love, enough to ignore the other parts of the show, even though I list them, should I grade based on entertainment?

    Usually I do.

    Today, since I don't have a review rating yet, let's see where we're at by the end.

    From the beginning:


    But hey, I'm a moron if I think passive aggression is common in today's television marketplace. Ah-heh.

    I think it's sad that Smallville has to start with such a warning over what I'm assuming is Lionel's near suicide at the end. What I see here is a show that had no warning whatsoever when two seventeen year olds dry humped in the middle of the night while wearing barely anything, and yet a GUN, something we Americans tend to be very proud of and have many of, aimed at a guy's head, well, that deserves a warning. Especially because when Lex Luthor aims a gun at someone, that's entertainment, but when Lionel Luthor aims one at himself, that's DISTURBING.

    Insert social commentary here, but I can't get political.

    Lionel Luthor putting a gun to his head was not very offending or hard to take in. Why? He's terminal. Who wouldn't consider the idea? Also, he isn't dead. No bang. I mean, I think the episode would have been more powerful with a large bang in the middle of the credits, even if next week we end up with a hole in the wall and Lionel saying, "I couldn't do it." But he's not dead, he won't be until the end of the season, I'm guessing, and comic guys never stay dead. Why? No resolution of plots, and TV is a sucker for that.

    And hey, there's always the irony of a suicide almost occurring but not occurring in an episode with a crisis line in the central point. I do believe that this is an intentional central point, but most people won't catch it, because the bad concept with Kryptonite for including the Crisis hotline undermined any attention paid to it.

    Yes, folks, suicide, something we all confront, is just TOO graphic to not have a warning, but a guy who bleeds from the eyes? Bring it on! A rain of blood in a field of death involving the President and a garroting with piano wire? Bring it on! A 14-year-old doing a sexy striptease by a pool under the influence of a narcotic flower! WOO HOO! 71.5 knockouts (not counting those perpetrated on NON main characters), c'est beaucoup! Impaling a young girl with a pole? Kicking someone into a broken leg with a horse? Ramming a principal into a garage with a station wagon? Burning several people to death? Turning someone to ashes? Throwing people off dams? A drunken news editor who's willing to kill himself for a story! I could go on, but...

    Somebody channel McCarthy, I think we have a winner here.

    Sorry. That disclaimer just REALLY bugged me.

    It beats what I first thought, however. I thought that because Lana was killed (after all the other deaths in the show) they wanted to make sure people were okay with that. And heck, maybe that was it. They never tell.

    We see Pete for all of two seconds. People write me and ask why they don't just kill Pete. Really, I know why they can't, the comic, but as far as his character has gone, up and down from nerd to pimp, fool to partner in crime, and simply being used as a catalyst, generally, rather than a person so Lana can get her ten minutes of air time each week, it disgusts me. In the early part of the season, it could have been so that a plot or sub plot could be developed, but now it's so that we can flesh out the Freak of the Weeks, which need to stop, and now. They're old, they're done, they're silly, they're horrible, no one goes homicidal for no real reason. No one. It established Kryptonite. Okay. We had that down by episode three. Now let's do some episodes like Lex getting committed, Clark's secret nearly being exposed, Chloe having some kind of character dilemma, Lana having a little bit of a crisis of familial nature instead of what way to torture Clark, Pete relating to Clark's status as an outsider because he's black, Ma Kent getting over being a mom while not having a career, Pa Kent examining the rigors of age and what that means to a man, ANYTHING but insert boy or girl X who has neurosis Y and meets Kryptonite chunk Z to produce bad story, HERE. It's done. It's been done. TV writing is a five-act format, it has consistencies, I know, but for the love of God, the CONFLICT doesn't have to be the same every time. It really doesn't. And though the story changes, the plot doesn't. Each week, it's the same, and it's old. VERY old now. Enough to knock a FULL POINT from each review. Pete is just a symptom of this.

    You might be getting the picture that I don't like Smallville. Not so. I love it, but I want the things that bother me fixed, and my first two notes exemplify the problems.

    And I can't lie. They are taking steps towards consistency. Pete was still a mack with the chicks. If he's heading that way, fine. But let's see more of him, and let's see how it changes Smallville. Without K.

    There is a tendency to soapbox volunteering in this show. I like that. But it's also inconsistent. Pete's been at the Crisis place for how long? And when? Before or after earning and racing the 20,000 dollar car, and before or after he stopped volunteering with Clark for things like the nursing home where Hourglass took place?

    But still, the thought is nice.

    Aha, thought I had a nice note ahead, but no:

    A call from the future is HOW plausible? That's my next note.

    Well, not very plausible.

    I know how to solve any implausibility, however, and I plan on using it from here on out, anywhere I go. Kryptonite.

    For instance, I'm going over to my mom's house tomorrow, and I'm gonna have dinner. She's gonna serve it up, and I'll lose it about half way through, all over the table. She'll say, "What's up, Neal?" And I'll say, "Must have been the Kryptonite they fed the Turkeys."

    It applies all over the place... for instance, the guys who smashed into me a few months ago. All they have to do is turn to the judge and say, "Hey, man... my brakes had Kryptonite!"

    The possibilities are endless. And it would make a fine TV show.

    But for now, we deal with time travel dilemmas. Like, hey, the fact that if a shot rings out in the future, and silence ensues, meaning, Lana is dead, and then the next day you save Lana, and then talk to her just after, audibly, so a phone would hear it, then you've refuted fatalism and altered history as it was meant to be. Insert Doctor Emmett HERE, saying that time has unraveled or changed for the worse, perhaps.

    To say nothing of the fact that she would have noticed the hole in Clark's shirt when she hugged him, maybe felt the lump of hot metal.

    To say nothing of the fact that Lana could have just hid in the many and varied shadows all over the place she ran around.

    To say nothing of the fact that when the line fell, Clark stood in front of Kryptonite in an electrified pool of water.

    To say nothing of the fact that when a telephone pole falls over, the lines SNAP or the pole stays up, correct?

    So that's a little off for me. I didn't like it. No, sir. Not one bit!

    However, any opening with Lana getting shot while running away from a guy she's abandoned Clark for while being a psycho is entertaining enough for me.

    The evil Jason sheriff is starting to come across as cool. Am I crazy? I mean, she's no longer the psycho she used to be, and though she's inconsistent as a character (NO! On Smallville!?) from her beginnings, she's also got some of the best dialogue of late, and at least her character is a vital, important one. An affinity for plaid. Nice line.

    We had the ear cam going in again, and I've decided it. It's a visceral reaction to entering the ear that bugs me. Going out, it's okay. This is why I decided not to be a Q Tip.

    They sure showed a lot of that voice recognition software. Strange. No product name that I could see. Rarely does something appear that long on television without such. Maybe I just missed it.

    I like Lionel and Lex in this episode. Lionel uses a classic Luthor line, except it's reversed. Usually it's Lex Luthor saying, "Well, Superman, as you know Lexcorp has many hundreds of projects at any one time, I can't be held responsible for them all!" Now Lionel says it to his son, and we see where it comes from. I like it. I smell Loeb all over it.

    I still want to know why dying makes someone cry blood. It's a cool effect, again, but it makes no sense. There's another thing that happens when you die, I won't mention it because it's unmentionable, but I would find it more likely than crying blood. Those of you with an imagination will figure it out.

    And I don't mean bad BO, though a smell is involved.

    Now hey, I understand they've built up Adam's fall for six episodes, and he's obviously desperate, like most of the kids on Smallville, but I reiterate, NOT desperate enough to go on a killing spree, particularly the people he tends to love, like Lana. You're dying, you don't start killing people. You start anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance, the five steps. Where does this involve killing anyone you don't like?

    And further, I can see the argument that he tried to kill Lana because she killed him by taking his serum, but really, who took they serum? Lionel Luthor. And who, logically, would Adam go after? Think, folks. You need a dose every twelve hours. You gonna go shoot at Lana for three of them, or go kidnap Lionel for his CASE of them?

    Raise your hands for Lana...

    Okay, now for Lionel.

    Well, that's it. Lionel wins. And I didn't have to even SEE all you people!

    I think Clark telling Lex he knows about Tang and Lex working together was far too risky, and a plot hole. Why? Because the blood was stolen with Lex right there. Because Clark had that blood at the hospital. Because Lex knows what happened at that hospital, and about the man who died and came back. Lex was head of the project. Chalk that up to woops and we'll forget it.

    Besides, Tang is now dead. In another case of strange logic, they bring in another Claire Foster (though this was not straight up Teng) and then kill a character who is alive in the future. Why? Well, who knows? Because we have to have Adam killing people, even someone he would like, because she kept him alive when she was told to let him die.

    Because young people go homicidal for stupid reasons all the time on this show.

    Lex turning down the project after asking for it was cool. It shows that while he wants a hand in strange bad things, he won't partake in anything he sees as in trouble or tainted.

    I like how they subtly poked fun at being bugged to change phone companies twice. When I had telemarketers, I hated that. AT&T charged me 50 bucks for an 8 minute phone call once, so I'm no longer with them. Ever. Period. I was poor, they almost bankrupted me. Still, they wasted my time with telemarketing. Good move, Smallville. Stick it to monopoly competition! :) Sounds cynical, but I mean that.

    Clark runs to the guy, that makes sense, he heard the road number. But why couldn't he find Adam? I mean, it's obvious he'd be going to Smallville with the knowledge of the future Clark had, and at super speed (where you can go to Metropolis and back in a near instant) how hard is it to explore fully four nearby roads?

    Hey, I know! Kryptonite! They were Kryptonite roads. The rocks got mixed into the tarmac. Yeah.

    Pa Kent has guns... now we know. And actually, I like that. It's more real. I like guns, I like sport shooting. I hate machine guns. And Pa doesn't hesitate to use it to protect his family and friends. Good. Anyone else note the irony, however, of the statistics bearing out? While I am for guns, I have to concede that a gun is more likely to be turned on you than protect you, generally. And hey, he takes it out, POP, gets hit, and because of Pa's protection, Lana almost gets killed.

    Kents with guns! Look out!

    I don't know if you saw it, but Pa Kent, after reassuring Lana, moves in and gives her a half hug which he holds for a LOOOONG time. Like father, like son? Next week: Lana leaves Clark for Pa Kent. Why? Kryptonite.

    Wait a minute. What's this? Someone NOTICES dead people? Enough to actually have the police involved? Like, really, investigation involved? This is Smallville, right? Wow. I'm impressed!

    Though this show had MANY inconsistencies, I'm gonna do something I rarely do: Cite some acting. Allison Mack, when cornered, plays one heck of a character. She manages to act like a woman acting like a woman acting like she's cool and calm and collected when she's scared out of her mind. The scene with Adam was REALLY well done. She beat out Lex and Lionel for me, this episode, even including the last scene.

    MORE CHLOE, MORE WHINE! And bring me my fiddlers three, lowly sycophants of the television industry! (When I am king).

    Chloe and Jonathan. I love it. A full-grown man and a nearly full-grown woman, one head knock to the pavement and they're out. It's like they don't even try to make the KOs plausible any more. Ever been hit in the head? I got hit in the head twice with a baseball bat, and other than producing some really crazy reviews ten years later, I wasn't knocked out. All I had was a headache. The closest I ever came to getting knocked out was in Wrestling, when I lost about two, three pounds a day exercising and nearly fainted a few times from the heat. It's HARD to knock someone out. I know, because one time, under the influence of Kryptonite, I tried to knock my Grandma out, and she kicked the crud out of me!

    What? I said Kryptonite, so it should be okay, right? She was being a punk! I told her that hands down, Angela Lansbury was the hottest old chick on TV, and she said Delta Burke, so I had to throw down. But she knew the mad old lady kung fu, and all I had was dork fu, so she kicked me in the ding ding and her sidekick Pepe smacked me.


    See? There was humor in this review. You just had to wait for it! Lousy TV watching punks have NO patience!

    Clark fought the law, and Clark WON! "Oh, you're holding me without my parent?" RELEASE THE BOY!

    Cue the theme to People's Court:


    The local police are the plaintiffs. They say that Clark got all up in a murder scene, and ended up with his foot in a pool of blood coming from someone's eyes.


    And here's Clark, the defendant. HE claims he was whining with Lana when the murders occurred, and besides, he has to answer a phone call from the future because Kryptonite hit a telephone pole.

    The honorable Neal Bailey presides over.


    And don't get that smart mouth with me, Welling, or I'll clear this courtroom!

    What's that Lana? He has a secret, so you can't be with him even though he saves your life constantly and cares about you more than anyone else on Earth?

    Bailiff, remove Miss Lang.

    AHT! This is MY court. When I speak, you listen! NYAH! Go sell Neutrogena in Block D, Chippie!

    We call to the stand Lionel Luthor.

    Lionel Luthor, you stand accused of framing your son for something yet again. Your son Lex is now accused of 9 murders, and you're likely behind it. Why? What does it mean? And what do you make of the fact that the investigation will likely never be resolved or mentioned again?

    "Uh, I plead Kryptonite, Your Honor."

    Thank you, Mr., you are dismissed. And hey, nice hair.

    We call to the stand Mr. Adam Knight, deceased. Bailiff, please inject the corpse with Mr. Welling's blood.

    "Yes, your honor."

    Ah. Excellent. He's coming around. Mr. Knight, perhaps you could tell us why Lana didn't come to Clark in the first place, and how she must have felt when you were kicking the crud out of her and throwing her into fences because you're nuts, she knew you were nuts, and she just let you keep walking around when she could have told Clark, because God knows you seemed trustworthy, crying blood and kicking her in the stomach and all that. Though she is somewhat redeemed for using her mad kung fu to trip you.

    "Well, your honor, I have to admit, she was a bit of a dip. I was just trying to do what a bunch of people have wanted to for a while and I...I.WHEAAAAAGH!"

    Bailiff, remove this corpse from my courtroom. I can't have folks dying during my testimony. "Aye aye, Captain."

    I'm not a Captain. I am Sergeant Slaughter, or Corporal Punishment. Get it right or I'll send you to the dark place I sent Lana.

    "Icecapades, sir?"

    No. A Britney Spears concert. Now silence! Doom speaks!

    The court calls Albert Einstein. Prop him up. Inject him.


    Ah, yes. Mr. Einstein. If it pleases the court (and it does, but not as much as a night out with Allison Mack) would you please tell us how plausible it is that a rock from outer space would cause a telephone line that has snapped to go back in time and warn someone, a specific someone, of a specific problem?

    "Der probabilities of der circumstance, it is..."

    It involves Kryptonite, good sir.

    "Das Kryptonite! Mein Gott, vy didn't you mention zis? All ist possible vit der Kryptonite!"

    Zis? What are you, Sigmund Freud or Albert Einstein?


    And finally, the writer of the show. Bring him up in stockades!

    "Yes, your honor?"

    Is it true that you knowingly had Lana Lang reading a copy of a book by Albert Einstein going into yet ANOTHER 8:50?

    "It is."

    And is it also true that after fifteen some odd episodes of being completely hostile and passive aggressive to Clark, your Lana character seems ready to jump back into a relationship with him because he saved her life, which he's done about a million times before?

    "It is."

    And is it further true that you are only doing this because the season is about five or six episodes from completion, and you need it to seem plausible that this plot device which you've stretched badly across this and last season would resolve itself?

    "It is."

    I have to complement you, however, on making someone catch Clark speeding from place to place, even if it was the most impossible person period, Lana.

    "It is."


    Well anyway. That line with Clark, however, the one about the time anomaly explaining his speed to get to her, that was a good line.

    "It is."

    I agree. Hey, is this merely a tape recording of the writer saying, "It is?"

    "It is."

    Then where's the real writer?

    "In LA up to his forehead in the ladies. It is. It is. It is."

    Does it strike you as odd that Lana knew the number to the Crisis line despite the fact that she was nowhere near there all episode?

    "It is."

    Does this perhaps indicate a familiarity with the crisis line, that perhaps she might have gotten some help about her abusive situation, we can only hope, with Adam?


    Is this repetitious dialogue bit going on too long?

    "It is."


    All right. If there are no more witnesses, I will enter the closing argument.

    I want someone out there to find out for me what Opera it was that Lionel listened to when he was thinking of killing himself and give it to me so that I might provide it to the jury.

    In summation, there was a LOT of bad stuff in this episode. A lot. But a lot of good, as well. The end of Adam, the beginning of the end of Lionel, the resolution of the God awful Lana being a whiny git storyline, so to speak (we can hope), and though the 8:50 may not be ending, it at least might become tolerable now.

    I will say the good and the bad almost balanced themselves out. The ending was spectacular, Chloe killed me with the acting, and Adam, at long last, is gone as baggage.

    I had a good time, I had a bad time, I had an average time.

    The verdict: 3 of 5. GUILTY.

    Remand the show to the custody of reruns and we will reconvene in this courtroom in six weeks. DISMISSED.

    PS: Inform Mr. Gough that I expect any further episodes with Crisis in the title to have something epic and life changing in them, such as the Crisis on Infinite Earths to which it alludes. And Lana liking Clark don't count. Clear the court!


    Lana's done being a dip, it seems, and Adam is dead. I like that Adam is dead. I like that Lana's done being a dip. The sub plot with Lionel and Lex was neat, and I like the fact that Lionel is dying. It's interesting, and not worthy of a warning or condemnation. Chloe did a great job this episode, even though she was tragically scarce, like Pete, and they deserve to be around. Pa Kent with a gun is cool, but remember, guns can get taken. Phone calls from the future suck, they make no sense, and you can't blame everything on Kryptonite, except beating your Grandmother.


    3 of 5.


    I got through almost all of the email this week, through 58 of 65 emails. I do apologize to the folks that I missed, and I will get to you very shortly, and I WILL maintain credits through to the next reviews, though it may be weeks away. My apologies. I've been trying to work it down, but it's an uphill battle. I write long letters back to folks, and they keep coming in as I write them out to you all. Am I complaining? Heck no. Even guys like the guy who criticized me at the beginning of the review jazz the heck out of me. I mean, I have people READING me! You know how unthinkable that was even two, three years ago? You all are amazing, and I'm grateful.

    First piece of business came up in the chat tonight, and it's a very nice one:

    The kid with the bomb? He pressed the button. Then he died. Then the bomb on his chest disappeared in full view of a doctor, and the cops came in, knowing Clark was in there, and that the bomb was gone, and WHAT exactly happened? Nice little bad loose end there. That one's mine.

    Alex noticed that the sniper would also know what was going on with the bomb. He was watching the whole time through a scope. I'm gonna count that as TWO living people who know Clark's secret, because if you don' t know after that, you're hopeless.

    Eric Sherman notes that the doctors that worked on Lionel were the same ones who worked on Jonathan, which is weird considering that eye doctors and heart doctors are usually on opposite sides of the hospital, much less the same person.

    Kevin Heacock notes that Potassium Chloride is lethal injection stuff, and Tim O'Brien informs me that Sodium Chloride is salt. But Jason Tavares informs me that Sodium Hydroxide, NaOH, blows up when you put it in water. BOO YAH!

    Knew it was something to do with sodium.

    Lou writes in with a correction to the KO Count. I believe it was mentioned before, but I didn't fix it on the Count itself, that Pete and Chloe were Parasite Freaks, not Kryptonite freaks. I shall fix it ex post haste-o.

    Miguel Acuna and Tim O'Brien both pointed out to me (and be darned if I didn't just miss harping on this) that Alicia not only knows Clark's secret, but she would have TOLD, seriously. She hates Clark, with a passion now, and hell hath no fury goes the expression.

    Hence forth, I will now, in the KO Count, introduce an asterisk in the "Living who know Clark's secret" category. The asterisk will mean that the person would have told all the people they could have, by my estimation.

    Tim Tomlinson notes that Belle Reve, the Asylum, is also the home of Blanche Dubois in A Streetcar Named Desire. The connection being, she goes crazy at the end of the play, which Tim knew because he was in a production of the play. Right on, Tim, and thanks.

    Stephen told me that Clark wasn't knocked out with a muffler (whups) but rather a Nitrous Oxide System bottle with Kryptonite attached. That's what I get for driving a 20 year old car for 8 years! All I need now is some K... expect a correction in the KO Count there, as well.

    Frank Hart, a new associate of mine who's working with me on a comic book, had a few nice notes. Obsession and Velocity sound like perfume names... is Smallville trying to promote something we don't know about? And he also notes, with intelligence, that the trip to Metropolis, if it takes 3 hours by car, certainly takes some time with a helicopter, and time equals brain death. Sorry, folks.

    Robin Sharma wrote in and told me that Dr. Tang, now deceased, alas, played Jackie Chan's love interest in Rumble in the Bronx. Cool connection there. I liked that movie, more for the band Ash at the time than anything else, but I still enjoyed it. So if you want to see more of her, head on over to the video store. It's worth a watch. Thanks, Robin!

    Douglas Meacham too had the eye for Tang in the beginning of the season, and the man's out at sea, so wish him well. He's got a nice gal who tapes the show for him.

    Tim O'Brien, aside from the two credits I've mentioned, also has a few other great observations:

    Tang is young. The Daily Planet editor was young. Is the show erring on the side of young actors in positions that should be played by older folk for a reason, or is it just because young and pretty sells? Or are those characters much older than they look? Heck, I didn't know John Edwards was 50, and you could've fooled me.

    He also postulates that the cage which held Adam could be used for chimps. That makes sense. Or unruly janitors. That one's my idea, though.

    Finally, he notes that blowing yourself up in the hospital doesn 't make much sense, given that if you do, your brother dies. Not so bright, dude.

    Felix Vasquez (of Cinema Crazed, which used to be The Balcony, I identified it wrong: thinks the sheriff was an odd choice for handling a bomb threat. Why is SHE leading a SWAT team, and where are the negotiators? Where are the reporters? Where are the families of the patients in the hospital.

    Also, it seemed Pa was let out of the hospital the day of the incident. According to Felix, it took him 4 days, and that the usual time is two weeks. Guess Bo didn't want to pinch nurse butts very long, eh?


    I just beat my longest review by a thousand words. The monster grows, I cannot control it, now all I can do is pursue it across the ice for a month and a week and hope that when I return, the people will still be here, the words will still come, the brain will not be fried, and the jokes might still be crisp.

    And how will I do this?

    A kryptonite powered computer.

    I'm here all month.

    Try the quiche.

    Good night.

    Homina homina homina del

    KO Count.

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