Movies
Superman II - Restored International Cut Reviewed
By Jeffrey Bridges
Part 3: East Houston, Idaho
We last left off with the drastically different cuts of Lex and Ms. Tessmacher at the Fortress of Solitude.So, back to the Fortress we go. Ah, but wait, not yet.
Just after Lois finds out Clark's secret and they leave to go to the Fortress, we are treated with a clip from the scene of them flying together from "Superman: The Movie" with Lois in her nightgown. This was apparently added as time filler in some of the international editions, and in order to preserve all editions it was shown in, it's included here.
Then in the scene where the sheriff and deputy encounter the three villains on the road, there's a brief addition at the end of the scene. The theatrical has Non pulling the light from the top of the car and offering it to General Zod with a whine. Zod rolls his eyes and Ursa looks away. What was she looking at? Non then cradles the light like a baby, and it cuts right to Clark and Lois flying to the Fortress.
In the RIC, Non pulls the light off and offers it to General Zod with a whine. Zod rolls his eyes, and Ursa looks away. Non cradles the light like a baby, and then we see the deputy sneaking around the side of the squad car. He gets to the front of the car and nearly runs into Ursa's crotch.
He then stands up, gazes at her chest and then looks up at her face, swallows hard and tips his hat.
And then we cut to Lois and Clark flying to the Fortress.
There are no changes until we get to the villains arriving in the small town of East Houston, Idaho. This scene has a drastically different ending.
In the theatrical version, as soon as Zod (using his magic finger-pointing-lift-you-into-the-air beam) drops Jody into the dirt, Jody's son looks on upset and then it cuts to Superman and Lois in the Fortress.
In the RIC...
[Zod drops Jody and Jody's son looks upset. The kid runs over to a horse.]
KID: Come on Bessie, we've got to get some help!
(That line was recorded in what sounds like the inside of a tin can.)
[The sheriff and Non are throwing evil looks at each other over the light from the sheriff's car.]
ZOD: No one may leave without my permission.
[He turns and watches the boy riding off. Non follows his gaze.]
ZOD: I said no one leaves!
[Zod snaps his fingers at Non. Non winds up and throws the light from the cop's car. It whistles through the air, and in the distance it strikes the kid on the horse and explodes.]
[The sheriff looks upset and a random old woman walks up.]
RANDOM OLD WOMAN: He was only a boy!
[Ursa walks up, smiling.]
URSA: ...who will never become a man!
The next changes come as soon as we get back to East Houston. The scene progresses normally, although when General Zod is speaking into the television camera in the theatrical cut you will occasionally see his face on a control panel of sorts, as if to show it's being broadcast live around the world. The RIC is devoid of any of these shots. Instead, all it has is a normal shot of Zod speaking (whatever is on the monitor in the control panel for those few shots in the theatrical version).
When the army arrives in town, they bring some differences with them. Theatrical:
URSA: General Zod does not take orders, he gives them!
[Non heat-visions the incoming jeep.]
But in the RIC:
URSA: General Zod does not take orders, he gives them!
[Non moves forward, but General Zod calmly keeps him back. Non points to himself and whines.]
ZOD: Very well. You may try.
[Non heat-visions the incoming jeep.]
The battle progresses as normally, until we get to the television reporter's line. In the theatrical:
REPORTER: He was right in the line of that fire, and nothing seemed to happen to him. I haven't seen the likes of this since Superman.
[Cut to the President watching the coverage on television.]
In the RIC:
REPORTER: He was right in the line of that fire, and nothing seemed to happen to him. I haven't seen the likes of this since Superman.
[Cut to the interior of an incredibly tacky and filthy house. A football game is on the television. A trashy woman sits on the couch drinking beer.]
TRASHY WOMAN: Yeah. Yeah! No. Get him, get him! Yes! Yes! Take it, take it! Good!
[She waves at the screen, trying to shoo the cheerleaders out of the way. Suddenly the game cuts out to show a man at a news desk.]
TRASHY WOMAN: Who are you?
NEWSCASTER: We interrupt this program to bring you a direct report from East Houston, Idaho.
TRASHY WOMAN: Don't you know it's first and... down?
[She runs over near the kitchen.]
TRASHY WOMAN: Alvin!
[Alvin yells back from off-screen.]
ALVIN: What!?
TRASHY WOMAN: They, they, they... they took the game off, Alvin!
ALVIN: What do you want!?
[She picks up the phone and drinks some of her beer.]
TRASHY WOMAN: Al, what's the number of the television, the... the stupid station!
ALVIN: What do you want that for?!
TRASHY WOMAN: 'Cause they took the game off!
ALVIN: What?!
[We cut to a Japanese house where a man is chopping vegetables and a little girl of about 4 sits next to him on the floor watching the news report on television.]
FATHER: I am so tired of all this violence on television!
[He picks up a cleaver and hacks it down into something with a yell. He picks up another knife and shakes it at his daughter.]
FATHER: You should not watch that!
[She turns around to look at him.]
DAUGHTER: Shut up, Dad!
[Cut to the President watching the coverage on television.]
Back in East Houston the RIC has a little bit of extra footage of soldiers attacking the villains, and before the soldier with the bazooka can fire his rocket at Non (which he catches), the inept deputy from before gets in the way and the soldiers have to shoo him off. As the battle winds down, in the theatrical:
[Ursa blows at the helicopter and causes it to crash.]
ZOD: Is there no one on this planet to even challenge me?!
[Cut to Lois and Superman finishing their meal in the Fortress.]
LOIS: Mmm, that was good.
In the RIC:
[Ursa blows at the helicopter and causes it to crash.]
ZOD: Is there no one on this planet to even challenge me?!
[Cut to a close shot of Superman and Lois in the Fortress. All you can see is their heads.]
SUPERMAN: I, uh... I have to tell you something. I've never done this before.
LOIS: Don't worry, you're going to be fine. Just, um... don't... rush it.
[Superman nods.]
SUPERMAN: Okay.
[The camera pans out and shows them sitting at the table, a baking dish in front of them. Superman uses his heat vision to cook the soufflé, which rises.]
LOIS: Okay, stop! Stop stop stop!
SUPERMAN: Hmm?
[He turns the heat vision off. The both lean in to examine it.]
SUPERMAN: Oh!
LOIS: You should never overcook a soufflé.
[Superman nods.]
SUPERMAN: Right.
[Superman picks up the soufflé, and it fades to them at the table after they're finished. You can see half the soufflé missing from the dish on the table in both versions.]
LOIS: Mmm, that was good.
They talk for a while and make bedroom eyes at each other, and Lois leaves to "change into something more comfortable." The theatrical then cuts back to East Houston, but the RIC gives us this little gem.
Lois walks through a corridor in the Fortress, looking around for a place to change. Finding nothing, she sighs and shrugs and then opens up her purse and pulls and entire full-body nightgown out of it. She holds it up to herself as if seeing if it will fit, and then we cut back to East Houston.
This is without a doubt the most bizarre lost scene of the entire RIC. :)
Everything is identical until we get to the White House. The theatrical:
[Secret Service agents fire their guns at Zod, who only blinks. Cut to soldiers using a bazooka on Non. Non dispatches them, and General Zod grabs the gun of a soldier coming through a window and pulls him in. The guy goes flying, and Non throws part of a column at some more soldiers.]
In the RIC:
[Secret Service agents fire their guns at Zod, who only blinks. Cut to some badly dubbed guy on a phone somewhere in the White House.]
SOME BADLY DUBBED GUY: Don't worry, everything's under control. Nobody's gonna get in here!
[A map on the wall next to him comes flying off as a body flies through the wall, sending bricks tumbling. The badly dubbed guy looks at where the body fell as if he's confused. Cut to soldiers using a bazooka on Non. Non dispatches them, and General Zod grabs the gun of a soldier coming through a window and pulls him in. General Zod then USES THE MACHINE GUN TO MOW DOWN ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE ROOM. They also make a point of showing a portrait of Richard Nixon as it slowly gets shot to pieces over the course of about ten seconds.]
In the theatrical, after the American flag falls in through the hole in the roof, Ursa kicks some guy in the head and sends him flying.
In the RIC, after the flag falls a soldier with a guard dog runs into the room, and Non leers at it and growls, causing it to whimper. Then Ursa kicks that guy in the head.
Once the villains reach the Oval Office, there's one other small difference. The theatrical:
PRESIDENT: I'm the President. I'll kneel before you if it will save lives.
ZOD: It will. Starting with your own.
PRESIDENT: What I do now, I do for the sake of the people of the world. But there is one man here on earth who will never kneel before you.
ZOD: Where is this imbecile? Where is he?
PRESIDENT: I wish I knew.
[The president kneels before Zod.]
In the RIC:
PRESIDENT: I'm the President. I'll kneel before you if it will save lives.
ZOD: It will. Starting with your own.
[Ursa walks over to some of the generals in the room.]
URSA: What a backward planet this must be... where the men wear the ribbons...
[She runs her hands over one of the general's ribbons.]
URSA: ...and the jewelry!
[She rips some of the medals off of one of the other general's uniform.]
This concludes the third portion of the review.