Superman on Television

Smallville: Episode Reviews

Season 7 - Episode 11: "Siren"



Reviewed by: Neal Bailey


  • Black Canary comes to town, and goes from bad to good thanks to Clark.
  • Green Arrow returns, and rekindles his flame with Lois.
  • They then break up.
  • Lionel tries unsuccessfully to blackmail Lana, who kind of leaves Clark again.


    See that? Now THAT is something that makes absolutely no coherent sense, and yet, is quite entertaining. Because of that, I just went out and bought a Roxy Music album. It's from the show Big Train, something my buddy Sion turned me on to, and man, is it stuck in my head. Note Simon Pegg on the guitar. So rad. It's turned me on to the fact that Brian Eno, who collaborated with David Byrne, one of my favorite artists of all time, had a part in Roxy Music. At any rate, the poing being, this stupid little five minute sketch spurred my brain, haunted me for a while, made me laugh, made an indelible mark on me, and it was INSANE.

    But this week's Smallville? Not so much, but complete with things that make absolutely no coherent sense. I say to myself, if I'm gonna watch something that's just insane in terms of consistency, it's gotta at least be funny. Or inspiring. Or unique.

    It wasn't wholly awful, but it came close, and close enough to take my formerly leaning apathetic fires and push them back to rage.

    There was one totally awesome fanboy moment that'll stick with me after the show is long gone, but beyond that, gah.

    Black Canary is a great character. Usually, Smallville episodes that have guest characters manage at least partially to succeed. This is because they present a hero on the wrong path who encounters Clark, Clark turns them around, and they find their own essential goodness. To the point that it's become a cliché.

    Here, instead, we have an episode that's mostly about Lois and the fact that she and Green Arrow cannot be together (a conflict opened AND resolved last season, and to resounding yawns from me then, as well), coupled with a guest appearance by a lip service to Black Canary, a Black Canary that really isn't much of a Black Canary beyond, well, the name and the shriek.

    To start off with, scene one, we start with Black Canary hacking a computer and stopping CHLOE. I don't know too much about the character, but I do recall that Black Canary hates computers.

    Then, she becomes a knife throwing assassin-type. Okay. I guess if she wanted to stop Chloe she'd, uh, throw knives instead of knock her out with a Canary cry? I dunno.

    Then they fight on the roof, and the fight is clunky, bad, etc. She does a cheesy flip from a roof (another normal human with superhuman leaping, apparently. What is that, a super-hero convention since Daredevil? I mean, if she has super-strength, okay, but the superjump just plain looked like wire work.

    Chloe, ever the brilliant one, jogs around without calling Clark, instead waiting on Ollie. Which makes sense how? Oh yeah, I forgot. She's keeping a SECRET! Yes, a SECRET! That which all Smallville plots hinge upon, the THING NO ONE WOULD GIVE A CRAP ABOUT that a character SUDDENLY DOES TO THE POINT OF RISKING THEIR LIFE!

    Because if Clark knew she was working with Green Arrow to stop Lex Luthor, he might, well, might SAY THANK YOU! At least, unless this were the upside-down world of Smallville where one week Clark would say thank you, but this week he berates her.

    At any rate, the next step is an arrow to the coat that yanks Black Canary off her feet and embeds in rock. I've gone over this before, but 1) Arrows don't stick in brick, 2) the force of the arrow wouldn't lift her up, much less throw her back.

    I've shot arrows into deer that weigh more than Black Canary. They don't move. The arrow whisks right through unless it hits bone. And then they still don't move.

    But you know why they did it? Because Black Canary then has to remove her shirt. Ah, such masterfully crafted writing! I was totally fooled into thinking that was deep!

    He then fires three arrows at her head, which would kill, literally, anyone, before he knew she had superpowers. Very heroic, Ollie. She then disintegrates them with a scream that... has no sound?

    Even better, she does it at point blank range, an action that caused Clark's ears to bleed, but if you watch, Ollie's hair doesn't even ruffle.

    Chloe is knocked unconscious by a sweep.

    I've been swept full-speed full-power by a black belt. It's startling, but it doesn't hurt. This is, for the record, UNNECESSARY KO NUMBER ONE!

    She stirs almost immediately after unconsciousness, rising to see the descent she later calls totally cool. Until we later realize that she was chasing Chloe, and Chloe was running randomly, so why would Black Canary have a reel in that exact spot?

    SERENDIPITY O' SMALLVILLE! Goes well with Deus Ex Machina brand cereal flakes.

    Decent effect on the scream, I'll concede, until you look through it at that laughable costume. I mean, it's just awful.

    The makeup on the face, the short hair that doesn't work with that chick, the delivery of the lines, the top piece, I mean, I didn't think Black Canary at all. I looked at it like I look at the Green Arrow suit. It's like some frat girl tried to dress up like Black Canary knowing nothing about the character. She reminds me, seriously, of Amy Sedaris.

    The sweep looked awful, like an actor doing a sweep. Follow that with a wirework flip OVER Green Arrow impossibly... gah. Just gah.

    It probably sounded good on paper, but it played ridiculous for me.

    Cue credits, then... BOY OH BOY! Lana-Clark tension! What a new concept. Lana's angry... at Clark? Clark's... misunderstanding Lana/wrong for calling her on something she did/leaving her/staying with her? Now THAT hasn't been a plot we've seen almost a hundred fifty times!

    I think we set a new record for Lana lies this episode. It's just sad. But I'll get there.

    Black Canary is a right wing pundit. HAHAHAHAH! Oh, I get it! (He quipped sarcastically). Cause, you see, Green Arrow is a lefty, and making her a righty would make her more of an adversarial foible before they get together!

    Except the Smallville Green Arrow doesn't have politcs. He has no shirt.

    And except the Black Canary in Smallville only gives lip service to politics. ALL of her character development is done through that thing our English teachers always told us to do when writing, "Telling, not showing!"

    Or wait, maybe I got that a little mixed up. I'm drunk on Smallville majesty, after all.

    Dinah has poor line delivery. Sometimes she was on, mostly she seemed like a pretty face trying to act. Not on the CW! Holy hell!

    Clark's back in the blue jacket. I smiled, because Chloe doesn't even think twice about it. Hey, guys, if you make blue jacketed Clark a bad guy one episode, lay off for one, huh?

    Clark is mad arbitrarily at Chloe, and goes to confront Ollie. Green Arrow rightfully points out that he's wasting time with Lana instead of fulfilling his destiny. If this show wanted to seem logical to folks, Clark would have immediately pointed out why he has been and has to stay. He doesn't, of course, so we're sitting here, siding with Green Arrow.

    It got cut from my published Smallville Magazine short story, but I had a scene where Green Arrow reads a similar riot act to Clark, and Clark uses a rationale to cover for the fact that he has to stay, so I actually CAN put my money where my mouth is on this one. I had him say that yes, there is a larger world out there, but Lex Luthor, the primary threat, is in Smallville, and he can watch him here (going off the assumption that he's in Smallville near constantly despite taking a job in Metropolis in season four that we never saw again). I dug the scene, but it wasn't my call.

    Lex tells Black Canary to find Green Arrow, indicating there are bombS (note the plural) going off in his factories. So now it's progressed from small-scale one-off terrorism to constant bombings. Granted, they're stopping a bad guy, but on a gut level, GREEN ARROW IS BLOWING UP BUILDINGS LIKE A TERRORIST.

    I side with Lex, yet again.

    Lionel blackmails Lana. There's no real reason for Lionel OR Lana in this episode, and the time devoted to them could have been better used to actually characterize Black Canary, but hey, Kristen gotta eat, right? Lionel comes in to blackmail her for video of Lex. Because he's so all-seeing and all-knowing that he knows she HAS the video, and about the girl she let die, but he can't acquire a simple tape on his own, or hack a computer.

    Speaking of mad computer skills, Lana... she's just amazing! She one-ups Chloe, whose character focus is to BE the computer girl, and they even make Allison acknowledge it in dialogue. Way to snub that long-time cast member in favor of more Lana love, writers!

    Lana is... wearing glasses. Yeah. Lana wears glasses in Smallville continuity before Clark does. And hey, why not? I mean, she's never worn glasses before, so why not have her start suddenly, in front of an audience sensitive to glasses concerns? Hah! Who cares?

    And hey, how about letting that girl die after she kidnapped her. Isn't that indictable? Isn't it... wrong? I mean, she kidnapped a girl to observe her, and the girl DIED. Lana isn't a doctor. She says there was nothing they could do, how the heck could she know?

    By my mind, Clark is morally obligated to take her to the police for that act. That he doesn't, that he hardly bats an eye at what she did, speaks to me as to how far the writing of this show has fallen, that Lana can be an accomplice to a kidnapping and potential second degree manslaughter and he'll just, I dunno, lightly browbeat her when she heavily browbeats him about relationship issues. Ah, character!

    Cut to another leg shot. In the background, Neal mutters something about his teachers telling him lies about two thousand years of western civilization culminating in the post-modern era of dynamic storytelling.

    Begin the Lana lies:

    LANA LIE ONE: She tells Lionel that she has no tapes of Lex, the ones he's looking for anyway. She does, because she works to avoid their distribution later.

    LANA LIE TWO: She said she would be permanently disabling Isis. Even after Clark has returned, it's still going. She even browbeats him right in front of it.

    Speaking of which, Clark appears to ask her for computer help over Chloe. Yeah. Wrap your head around that one.*

    *Neal's explicit warning: Not responsible for psychiatric care once this occurs.

    Clark is treated to Lana whining at him because he comes to her asking for help to protect Chloe, because the means he's using are means he's condemned. But she forgot that part about him asking for help to protect Chloe, apparently, because she whines at him to the point that he says, "You're only honest with me when you're threatened."

    True dat. The secrets and lies maven of secrets and lies maven is called to the carpet. And how is this responded to?

    "Oh. Oh, good point. I guess you're right."

    Lex: WRONG!

    Actually, it's a little more like, "Every transgression I have made you have answered with a hypocritical judgment!"

    Uh, yeah. I suppose she means that when he judges her, he's done the same thing, right? Guess I missed that episode where Clark hauled a girl off into a secret episode and let her die, or the one where he kidnapped Lionel and tortured him, or the one where Clark blew himself up, or kept a secret lab to watch Lex, or released Brainiac for his own selfish desires, or... well, heck. Why adhere to logic?

    "No one can live up to your self-righteous standards!"

    In the background, Chloe, about ten inches tall, waves her little wee palms, saying, "Meeeeee! Meeeee! I'm a good person, AND I'm good with computers. Guys! Guys? Come on, being nice isn't even that hard! I even got over the fact that I love Clark but he treats me like-" Lana then smishes her.

    More "poor me" Lana (oh boy!): "Do you know how it feels to wake up every single morning knowing you're going to fail in the eyes of the one you love?"

    Yes. Yes he does, bich. But do you know how it feels to wake up every single morning knowing you're going to fail in the eyes of the one you love because she's an amoral, selfish, rambling hypocritical twit?

    Unfortunately, I do, times 143 episodes.

    Good God. I just realized, given that I spend about a night on each of these reviews, I've spent almost half a year writing Smallville reviews. Wow. Crap. I gotta... I gotta go pee and ruminate.

    Okay, I'm back.

    LANA LIE THREE: Hiding the dead body. A SECRET!

    Clark puts a good head on it: "I don't think it's me you can't fix!"

    But then, he's with her at the end of the episode again, ain't he?

    Let's see, what don't I love about Smallville that hasn't been done yet that can be done this episode.

    Oh yeah! The girl who slaps a guy because she doesn't like something he's done, and it's considered perfectly rational and okay, even funny, instead of abuse!

    Way to go, Lois! You're a role model for girls EVERYWHERE!

    Next time a girl I like annoys me, I'm just gonna slap her right across her face! I'm gonna belt her one right in the mush! Hah hah hah! Hahahhahahah!

    Hey! Hey, why are you putting those cuffs on me! Why can she do it and I can't! Come on, guys, I was being sassy! Why don't you say, "You go, guy!"?


    This crap is the reason my mom was allowed to hit my dad when I was growing up, and when the cops came, they told him not to anger her and almost hauled him off for the marks on her wrist where he DEFENDED HIMSELF AGAINST HER SLAPPING HIM. This crap has GOT to stop being promoted in media. Though it appears on the outset to be a step toward equality for women, in that women are empowered enough to strike men where men previously struck women, all it does is lead to the false impression with men that any asserted dominance on the part of women is associated with these awful acts of sanctioned violence and inequality.

    Beyond that, to add insult to irony, he's made dinner for her. Any apology? No. Now I'm hating Lois as a character. Way to go, guys.

    Black Canary appears, and we get what Aussiello called a threesome.

    I tell you, it ain't like any threesome that I've been in, where you're fifty feet apart and then the person beats you half to death. Though come to think of it... nah.


    Lois finds out that Green Arrow is Ollie. It's supposed to be a big reveal, but I was sitting there wondering what she was gaping about, then I realized, oh yeah, she WAS that dumb, and he never told her he was Green Arrow despite it being readily obvious. Not a big moment for me, though the music indicated it should have been.

    Lois gets KOed by Black Canary. Funny thing is, she slaps Lois unconscious, and to me, it looks like villainy. I guess when Lois does it it's hot?


    I've been in martial arts for a year now, and I've learned all kinds of fun ways to render someone unconscious. To date, "slap the person out" is not one I've learned. In fact, we have this exercise we do where we use an akido move to get out of a wrist move, and then you slap the opponent in the face to startle them before you retreat. It's a distraction technique, but the reason I bring it up is because, of course, with a group of guys, it's an excuse to slap the crap out of each other. I got hit the other day full-bore by a 230 pound dude who is 6'3". It stung like hell, but I came up laughing, then returned the favor.

    Point being, it's bad form for Lois to do to Ollie, and it is abuse, but it won't render you unconscious that I've seen, unless you slap the neck with the blade of your hand in a shuto.

    It's certainly bad form for one of the world's greatest martial artists, as Black Canary is supposed to be, second only to Bats.

    She then ties them up instead of calling Lex and letting him know who Green Arrow was. Why? Aw, who cares at this point?

    She again knocks Lois unconscious, for no apparent reason beyond the fact that Lois is "running her mouth." Just the kind of thing a hero would do. And don't give me this "She's not a hero, yet!" She thinks she is, by the show's purported motivation for her character, so why would she beat someone unconscious wantonly?


    Green Arrow meets Lois bare-chested, and slips on a loose silk shirt. Canary appears, and renders him unconscious. When she ties him up, somehow he has an arrow hidden up one of those loose sleeves.

    Uh, yeah.

    Beyond that, when he cuts himself loose, he LEAVES LOIS TIED UP TO BE KILLED. Great going, guy. Now THAT I might slap someone for.

    Chloe figures out who Black Canary is, okay, I get that. But the insta-hair change thing on the computer? That's just... that was too much. I couldn't stop laughing. I had to pause the damned show. God, it was so hokey.

    Another indictable offense... Chloe blocks a wire transfer. Again, though the banks, who are trained to stop fraud, cannot stop Chloe, Black Canary, who hates computers, can somehow trace the stop back to the Daily Planet and shows up in full costume, just assuming Chloe will be there. Instead of, I dunno, using those computer skills to unblock the transfer. Oh, but if she didn't show up at the Planet, Clark couldn't explain that Lex was evil, and we need to do that to... rationality? Who cares about A to B!

    Canary uses her cry at full blast on Clark, not knowing he's invulnerable. It would have killed anyone else, meaning she was willing to kill over a misunderstanding. Heroism!

    Clark, having been attacked by this homicidal woman, instead of getting up and chasing her at superspeed, simply lays and thinks... until the commercial. Heroism!

    LANA LIE FOUR: More a secret. She snuck into Lionel's office without him knowing, in SECRET!

    LANA LIE FIVE: She saw his letter, and kept knowledge of that letter SECRET from him when he asked her what she was doing.

    LANA LIE SIX: She tells Lionel that "Clark will know everything from here on out!" and proceeds to violate this statement later in the show when she packs and prepares to leave without telling Clark.

    LANA LIE SEVEN: As Lionel points out, she said she will not rest, like OJ Simpson, until Lex is in jail! But she gives it up, for Clark. Who she walks out on. Later this same episode.

    LANA LIE EIGHT: Lionel says, "I know my son better than you." Lana: "No you don't!" Admittedly, Lionel and Lex have likely not had sex, but I'm gonna make a judgment call given thirty years versus one intimate and six semi-cordial years and say that's a falsehood.

    Black Canary visits Lex, and lets loose one of the biggest clunker pieces of dialogue I've ever heard on Smallville: "I'm not handing Greed Arrow over to you until you can prove how bad he is!"

    They made it monosyllabic, for the audience? I mean, not, "I'm not turning Green Arrow over until you substantiate your claims!"

    No. Not until you prove how BAD he is!



    Then Green Arrow appears, and all hell breaks loose. In the middle of this crap episode, this fight erupts that is, to my mind, one of the top five in Smallville history. Lex and Green Arrow, hand-to-hand fighting with a crossbow and a gun, stuff exploding all over the room, chaos with Black Canary, Clark appears and swats crap out of the air.


    It's so awesome! And yet... it's in this crappy episode! WHY? WHY WHY WHY?

    Lex breaking out with the hand to hand just... wow. It made me sit up and cheer. And then... well, it had to go back to status quo, didn't it?

    Clark appears and saves the day. He sees a bullet going for Canary, and a knife going for Lex (A knife that Canary threw knowing it might kill Lex if it hit him. Heroism!)


    Let me say that again.


    He doesn't try to stop it with his breath or heat vision while stopping the bullet. He CHOOSES to save the villain of the week over Lex, and could be allowing Lex to die.


    This is one of those retroactive OK cases, because Lex survives. NOT THE POINT. No Superman I'd ever endorse would allow a knife to hit someone just because he didn't like them or prioritized his life over another. Put frankly, my Superman would stop them both.

    And seriously, don't send me a letter saying he's not Superman yet. Cut the crap. Come on. He's 21 years old. His moral base should have solidified at the LATEST three years ago.

    Another melodramatic scene with Lois where she whines because she can't be with Green Arrow. Yawn city.

    Clark plays the nice guy, and listens to a hot girl whine about how she can't be with the man she loves with a nice guy standing right in front of her. God, my sympathy for Lois grows by the minute. Add this line: "Why settle for hot, rich, and famous when I can hang out with you!" and not only is Clark a hero only because his father commands it, he's also with Lois as her consolation prize.

    LANA LIE NINE: Packing up in SECRET without telling Clark to leave, seemingly with no intention to let him know until she is gone, despite her being the antagonist.

    Oh boy, a Clana too? All this and a Clana instead of Black Canary characterization? Oh, and can we just please end it with Lana accusing Clark of lacking commitment... AS SHE LEAVES THE HOUSE AND THE RELATIONSHIP?

    Heck, this show just had everything! Why buy the cow when you can get the pies for free, just for watching a girlicious ad?

    I am watching a show on a network that features wrestling, America's Top Model, and everything I am not. I seriously question why, to the point of considering stopping. I get next to nothing out of this any more. I am here out of loyalty to the character, and you. Stuff like this makes me question if even that is worth the effort.

    Half a year. Half a YEAR, I give them, and they give me this.

    1 of 5.


    Ann Marie Uzzo wrote:

    I missed the first 20 minutes of this show, so I don't know what happened before the newest Lionel, Lex (why don't you love me?) fight. I caught the very tail end of it. What did he say before .... the son you lost? And then of course Lionel said he really lost Lex- I get thtat, blah, blah, screwed up relationship, blah, blah.

    Not that we've seen that before, or anything. Sigh.

    My major problem with this is Lex being this desperate nutball who created a brother- it's too - EH! It just doesn't fit to me. There's better ways to write in his mental breakdown than this.

    It's a good idea, with poor execution.

    I have to mention the cool points for me- Clark being brought back by Jor-El
    I got a rush of, OK- cool moment- but too short lived. Like Bizarro about to get attacked by one super p!ssed off Fortress. That stuff should've been longer.
    Because some of the other stuff was typical, badly written Lana/Chloe banter.
    Do they just want people to beg for Lana to die? With a line like - Maybe you should let go of him- or whatever the hell the uncalled for, annoying line of the week was this time.

    You never truly loved me if you didn't think of my heart while I was crushing yours! (You watch, they'll use it)

    Lana truly is the other Lex now- who is so desperate to have Clark in her life that she doesn't see he's the Stepford Clark. Enough of the whole- he couldn't see her for what she was, now they repeat the same story with her not knowing the real Clark. They should've kept them apart when Chloe and Clark got so close at the end of Season 5. That would've made the transition to Lois all the more believable. Atleast by this time Lana and Clark could be true friends, ready to move on. Instead this has become truly sad and depressing- because she fell for Bizarro! Let's all repeat at once- Told Ya So!!! I knew that was gonna happen. They've made her a complete Moron. Why would they mess with a character like this. Next really big problem would be that Chloe is yet again the smartest person on the show- by not only figuring out Clark was not himself, but she hides the Kryptonian shield to boot- Lana-dumbest by telling fake Clark Chloe had doubts about him.

    Ah, arbitrary drama, I hardly... well, I know ye pretty well, actually.

    Good moment for me, seeing Chloe want proof as to whether or not he was Bizarro. Followed by a really annoying moment for me- Clark saying- You saved me again Chloe- which means two things to me- Chloe is definitely gonna DIE at the end of this season- and this version of Superman can't seem to get along without her figuring everything out for him. Which ultimately means Chloe's death is what's gonna make him wake up and finally for the love of God leave the damn farm!

    They can't kill Chloe. Lana and Lex are leaving. She's one of four remaining supporting cast members.

    And again Clark is responsible for someone dying! He goes to (the real Jimmy Olsen) and gets blue K- and doesn't follow up with him at all?! Brainiac ends up killin' him, thanks to Clark. Also- how is Clark able to handle the blue K?Just touching it should have the effect on him,in my opinion. I didn't like that at all. Especially when Old Jimmy there had it wrapped on his wrist, and that made it work. Bad.


    Also, what was Bizarro doin' all this time- snorting green K? How did his face not get seen in the sunlight for all of this time? Conveniently when Lana hugs him at Olivers'. Here's some more bad points - she tries to run from him- Superspeed- duh! Clark shows up, and this scene is right out of season 2, when the lesbian chick tried to be Clark. Except this time she wants the bad guy. This next thing must be an intentional plot point- Lana kills Bizarro- which to me symbolizes the fact that Lana kills all of the men she loves. Let's not go through the list- but again, why make this be her character now?
    There are easier ways to split up Lana and Clark.


    To mention superspeed again- Bizarro just stands there while Lana holds the Blue K- not even try to use the heat vision on it- Superspeed away from her. I can just see someone editing it for YouTube now- Lana putting the blue K in his hand with a (doink- sound effect) and a Bart Simpson type "Made Ya Look" voice over. What? He just trusts her not to kill him? Laaaaaaaaaame! Oh, wait, I know- She's amazing!!! Get the hell outta here. And of course Clark waits till he's about to burst to get Lana out of the way. Hey, I don't know- superspeed? Get her out of the building maybe?

    Yeah, I know. I called that out too.

    Really quickly- going to Lionel for help-- I hate that. Not knowing what the shield will do, he tries it right in front of Chloe, not knowing for sure if she can get hurt by this- in some Daily Planet storage closet. Geez- superspeed out, and take it to some field in good old deserted Smallville. These things truly bother me.

    And me as well.

    And powers Clark doesn't have- Lana mentions being in bed and talking.
    Whaaaaaaat?????? Evidently Bizarro figured out something Clark hasn't. As for real Clark and Lana, I was under the impression that she had her own room. I know I missed some of the episode- but if they've been sharing a bed- it makes me think of an episode of Roseanne- follow me here-
    Becky to Darlene when she finds out she's been living with her boyfriend David:
    (paraphrasing) You've been sleeping together?
    Darlene's response:(pretty much what she said) No I make him lie there next to me naked, and I give him nothing.

    Lana's so pretty and virginal. She probably does just sleep there while Clark gets blue balls. You know, the blue memory spheres they use to teach kids things on Krypton? He found them in the Fortress.

    Which brings me back to Lana and real Clark-
    If they are staying in the same bed- he better figure out what Bizarro figured out. Because the rational of can't be together for Super reasons, sounds even dumber than it did in Season 5.
    As for Lex, he's finally becoming evil-ish- I knew he'd blow his baby bro clone away- because he didn't do as he was told, and because he told off Lex. I guess also because he didn't want to be second fiddle to him, even though he's not even in the running for that. It's a bland attempt at showing how vicious he can be- slightly effective to me- even though predictable. The end wrap up was somewhat effective as well, with the choice of music and setting a tone. But awkward in some ways because I wasn't sure of the Clark/Lana sleeping arrangement pre- Bizarro.

    It was awkward for me because Lex killed without any real reason something he could still use.

    So- it could've been cool, had plenty of flaws, I like that Clark is back- although that whole sequence was a let down by being too short- I wanted more of that. I really dislike the ways that they have twisted the Lana character- not only in how she pertains to the story, but for the actress, who started with this character. I remember reading about how the writers decided to make her leave cheerleading, and be independent because of how they were effected by the spirit of the actress, and how she played the part. Where did all of that go? As for Rosenbaums' character, he hasn't even been given much at all to do for some time now. There is no longer enough time to prevent much of this year from being a huge disappointment. You can see why some in the cast talk of leaving after season 7, what with the downfall of their characters. Now with this season about to have an abrupt end- season 8 and what will be - granted an end to the strike- are making for what could be a disastrous ending for what started out as a must see weekly adventure for me.
    That's all for me- Read ya later Neal


    John Curcio wrote:
    I couldn't agree with you more... Your points are spot-on and I was just thinking about the whole "Lana wanting a male worshipper as her man" just before reading your piece. And you are correct about making Evil look cool... Spacey f@#$kin Rocks!


    Serethiel wrote:
    Ahh...Persona. It was kinda like season four's "Spell." You either really really loved it, or really really loathed it. Or you could be one of those oddballs and choose to straddle the fence (like me, lol).

    I was one who did.

    I enjoyed Tom Welling's interpretation of Bizarro. He's an amazing actor, and doesn't get nearly enough opportunities to show his stuff on Smallville. It doesn't really seem that any of the actors do these days. Even my beloved Chloe seems to have fallen into a formula.

    They show their chests a lot. Their chests have their own SAG cards for the CW, apparently.

    I was glad that they gave blue K a payoff. I was disappointed with it's use in "Blue." The thing is...they didn't have to make some contrived explanation for why blue K kills Bizarro. Couldn't they have just used the comic book explanation? Blue kryptonite is what hurts Bizarro in the mythos, correct?


    I really really really want Lana to die. She annoys the living fire out of me. She serves no purpose WHATsoever. I don't even see her as an object that stands there to look pretty, because the weirder and weirder her character becomes, the less attractive she gets.

    I've never been attracted to her, so it's double hard on me. Helps my objectivity, though.

    I'm looking forward to two things this season and two things only...I can only hope I'm not sorely disappointed: the return of Oliver Queen, and the return of Pete. Neither of them coming back makes anymore since than a blind seeing-eye dog, but they are both characters I've loved in the past, and hopefully they'll be enjoyable again. Time will tell.

    I hope you enjoyed Ollie.

    In the meantime, take care of yourself.



    Tom wrote:
    Dear Neal,

    Would exposing Bizarro to Red K turn him good? Surely one of the characters could've thought of that rather than painful, Blue K death.


    (in the UK hence a few days behind in catching up)

    Exposing Bizarro to Red K would turn him female. This is Smallville. Don't think logic.


    SprGrlRVG wrote:

    I take back everything I said in my last message. Well, almost everything. I still like your reviews and I still liked Tom and Allison's acting and I still think you were just p#%@ed at the world when you reviewed 'Gemini.' But the writers of Smallville sure blew it on this one, huh?

    Yar! But recall, it's not that I'm mad at the world. I'm just mad at rotten writing. There have been days where I've been at the peak of happiness that I've shredded episodes, and dreary days where I gave fives. I use generally the same criteria pretty consistently, I like to hope, and welcome challenge to that.

    I was hoping that they'd actually take plotlines started in 'Gemini' somewhere and continue on with momentum. Then I watched 'Persona.' Was I the only one who walked away from this episode completely and utterly confused? I mean, I just had this feeling like something was happening that I totally did not understand.

    You're not the only one. Many things baffled me.

    I just could not understand any reasons for any of the things that happened. Everything from Bizarro and Lana doing it (Why? Is she really THAT stupid) to Clark wanting to kill Bizarro (Why? He actually doesn't seem to have any hostile intentions. And I think in his own skewed-moral-compass sort of way, he DID love Lana more than Clark does) to Lana killing Bizarro (Why? She was actually happy with him!). And I'm still shaking with rage about Lex screaming in the rain. CLICHE ALERT!

    Heh. Nice.

    Anyway, it was nice to read your review and I appreciated the clips of Spacey. He rocked as Lex Luthor.


    Word! Thanks.

    Jules Brice wrote:
    Neal, I'm still watching Smallville, even though I shouldn't give a darn about it.
    I hope you will still review this show, even though it can no longer even jump the shark.


    I'm trying my hardest. It's been very difficult to get jazzed up this year. The strike, the complete ignoring of character and consistency, the lackadaisical, running-through-the-motions feel...

    (Hey, that is the first short letter I've sent... must be bummed out)


    I understand. I hope it gets better for you.

    Patrick Beardsley wrote:
    Hi Neal!

    I haven't emailed you since we last met at Comic-Con, I hope you're doing well... It sounds like you are.

    I am doing well artistically, p#$s poor financially. I may go bankrupt this year despite a 740 credit score. The cons plus writing is doing me in now that real estate and recession have come to play with me.

    I'm working on an agent pretty actively though, and I have some leads, so we'll see where that goes.

    Basically, I'm watching episodes to complete the series now, my enjoyment of them is limited to the emotional depth of a Saturday morning cartoon, at least in comparison to the way I used to enjoy the show.

    I cannot express how much I empathize with this feeling.

    Suffice it to say that I share your opinion about the repetitive and vapid nature of the series currently, however (and to break from the trodden negative reality of the writing on Smallville) I did like the idea that Dax Ur could have acted altruistically and devoted himself to the service of humanity but ultimately chose to purse a path which would lead to more personal happiness and less worldly contentment. In this capacity I think Clark is to be all the more credited as a "superior" Kryptonian for his, eventual, selfless acts as Superman, his moral fiber and responsibility illustrate why he is someone to be admired, and more admirable than Dax Ur, yet at the same time I don't necessarily fault his choice for personal happiness.

    I did dig the Dax Ur angle. Unfortunately, it became a small subplot cameo instead of a major role.

    Thanks for your time, and good to read your reviews again!



    David J wrote:
    I read your review of Action Comics #861. You said it was a flub that Superman can fly in the red sun. You forget that Superman is wearing a legion flight ring. If you look on the seond to last page in Action Comics #858 you read Dawnstar telling Superman to activate his flight ring. Also he is clearly wearing the ring ON THE COVER.

    I never make mistakes. You are referring to the evil Neal Bailey.

    Yeah, I did notice that, thanks to you and about twenty other emails... chalk it up to human error. The ring isn't very prominent on Supes in the issue, and I'm less familiar with Legion stuff.

    Trevor Percival sent me this wonderful piece.


    José Zapata wrote:
    Hello Neil

    In your review of Action Comics 861 you said that one major flub of the story is Superman flying under a red sun. The thing is that's not a flub. In the first issue of this story arc Superman wears a flying ring to activate the time sphere that sent him to the 31th century. He's been using the ring since then, you can see him wearing it in several panels. About the red sun thing, it doesn't seem that the stars are turning into red giants, it's more likely than somehow the radiation is being filtered so only the red spectrum passes, something akin of what the League are doing with Solar Boy to keep Earth's sun red. Besides, it isn't true than under a red sun the mass of a human being is increased exponentially, no matter what "Return to Krypton" says.

    Thanks, and keep up the good work.

    Either way, my major point is that it's unclear, at least to me, and that indicates writing that hasn't done its job. I'm not slamming Geoff. If these are the only mistakes he makes, he's still the best writer in comics. I just saw it, so there it was.

    tom vincent wrote:
    TV error on the KO Count page:

    TV Lana hits him with a vase, not a purse. Or do you date women with glass purses?

    I date women with beards who burp.

    TV WHAT?!? Why, that would make you a...a...ulp...gasp...a Dwarf!

    But anyway, I don't care about the vase/purse distinction. It's too niggling even for me.

    TV Just shows you weren't paying attention! BIG difference between getting hit with a glass vase and a soft leather purse! Ask someone to demonstrate!

    Besides, I don't know which one you're talking about.

    TV KO Count

    ep. 705. do a search for 'purse'

    I think you missed the point of my response... that it's a minor point I don't really care about. And yep, that was a Dwarf reference. And a joke, alas...

    Christopher Reed wrote:
    In Action 861, the reason Superman can fly is because he is wearing a Flight Ring, just like the rest of the Legion. Apart from that, I can see what you are saying, just wanted to point out something that you may not have considered.

    Why do you say this when you know I shall only kill you for it?

    You know what I find absolutely hilarious? Not two hours after the review was posted, I responded in the comments, and said, "Yeah! You're right! I missed the ring!"

    And then I get a ton of letters from people nagging at me for missing a detail, who missed the detail of me responding to that in the comments. Irony!

    Jeremy wrote:
    Neal regarding Action 861,
    Superman can still fly because he was given a flight ring in part one (they told him to activate it at the end) they all have flight rings thats why they all fly. Secondly if you look at the very last few pages Chameleon Girl finds Sun Boy attached to some device and she says "...Some kind of solar engine. It appears to be manipulating his solar wavelength and broadcasting it to the sun." In short thats why the sun is red, probably why all the suns are red. Yes it wasn't explicitly stated but it was heavily implied, I'm not accusing or being mean just informing you.

    I understand. And I'm not knocking all you guys who wrote in. I'm just joshing good-naturedly. Thank you.

    Ami Angelwings wrote:
    Hi Neal! :D

    Ey! I missed your letters.

    I know I haven't written much lately but I'm writing now! :D


    First off I just wanted to correct something in your review about the new Action Comics. Superman could fly under the red sun b/c he was given a Legion flight ring earlier b/c they knew under a red sun he'd need it. :)

    Oh good God! I kid. I swear, I will never forget the Legion ring again.

    Secondly, I watched the new Smallville with Black Canary today and I'm rly split on it. I have no idea what you'll think of it, but for me, it's like... extreme bad and extreme good :

    I thought the opening was awesome and I felt like Smallville should just be about Ollie Queen and his band of heroes fighting other heroes and villains from now on instead of the Lana/Clark will they/won't they show.

    I could stand a spinoff, but I doubt it'd be supported with this show's current output.

    The rest of the episode just cemented that. I mean, Lex with dual pistols vs Black Canary and Green Arrow!? I was almost dissapointed that Clark ran in!

    I was.

    Isn't it funny tho that Clark KNOWS who's gonna be a future JLAer b/c he has NO problem revealing his powers to Black Canary or Green Arrow before, and didn't even TRY to hide it! He must have special continuity vision powers to know that they'd be allies and friends in the future. xD Too bad the writers don't have that power.

    Heh. Yeah.

    But yus, that stuff was awesome. And I wanted more of it!

    Me too.

    Instead this episode almost made my head explode with that Lana scene where she again turns everything back into ALL ABOUT HER, and how everybody hates her, and how Clark is such a bad person and blah blah blah, and again with her promising to be a better person in her passive aggressive way .;; Why is Chloe still letting her stay at her place at this point? I thought she had a GAZILLION DOLLARS or something, couldn't she just get her OWN place or a hotel room or something?

    She does. She's just a mooch, apparently.

    Why is Lionel still here?

    You got me.

    The Lois parts are getting annoying. : She's so... NOT Lois. And forgiving Green Arrow JUST like that (I mean he said he was leaving FOREVAR and less than a year later he's back? I'd be SO MAD!!!) b/c he's hawt. . And she keeps swinging from emotional extremes as she becomes super angry and jealous when Black Canary shows up. .

    And then of course there's all that "aren't we clever b/c we're hinting at future events" with her not being able to handle Green Arrow being a superhero and stuff. And what about Superman? If GREEN ARROW is too famous and important to the world for her, how is she gonna be okay with SUPERMAN!? Tho it seems like they might FINALLY be moving towards a Lois/Clark relationship (tho that does screw up the future where they meet as colleagues doesn't it, but what about this show doesn't? XD)

    I doubt we'll ever see a Lois Clark relationship on this show.

    It seems like Chloe is getting shunted to the side more and more now, basically used only when they HAVE to show her to further the plot. : Her ability to photoshop in 5 secs without using the mouse and only keyboard is awesome tho! I wish I could do that! xD

    That was so hilarious.

    Neways, I hated the Lana parts SO much in this show, but then there were the parts with Green Arrow, Black Canary and Lex that were just soo cool! And I just wish they'd take out Lana for good and focus on Clark becoming Superman and other heroic stuff! : Does anybody actually watch this show for the Lana soap opera? .

    I have no clue. Someone must.

    I guess that's it :) It just frustrates me so much that sometimes there's just so much potential shown for this show, even at this point, and then they go back to the "Lionel playing games with Lex, Lex being well meaning but paranoid, Lana is selfish and may or may not love Clark" thing that's been going on FOREVER. It's SO ANNOYING!!!


    Black Canary was awesome tho! I just wished she had a mask or shades instead of that black facepaint _ Just have Clark x-ray for a girl with a stockpile of kleen wipes and you'll know who she is! Her secret identity worked for me tho :)

    As usual I luff your reviews :) Keep up the good work!


    When's the last episode to this season btw? It's rly shortened right?

    3 Teh Ami

    Fifteen is the last, as far as I know.

    Chad wrote:
    Good afternoon Neal,

    How are things? With the writer's strike going on, are you finding that your having more time to devote to your other writings and housing projects? I hope so...a man's got to eat.

    Hah! I only wish I was affected. No, I only have rare, occasional paying gigs. I am actually closing in on bankruptcy because of the writing.

    I enjoyed that last review, but it seemed much more Melancholy than usual.

    It was.

    I wish to commend you though. While I don't always agree with your views on the show, I do enjoy reading them. They are entertaining and make me laugh most of the time. Plus what's the point in life without different opinions?

    That's my attitude. I love things I disagree with when written poignantly.

    But what I wanted to commend you on, is your dedication to the show, and to Superman in general. Even though your dissapointment in the show (and comic) are evident right now, you continue to write about them, which say alot about your character.

    Thank you.

    As far as last weeks episode goes, I enjoyed it quite a bit. The Brainiac returning was awesome, as was the meeting of Brainiac and Bizarro. Lana bugged me when she practically entertained the thought of keeping Bizarro around, but is there anything new. I am very interested on where they are taking this Brainiac plot though, since so far Clark has no clue as to his return. Bottom line is this: Clark's return from the fortress, Bizarro, and Brainiac all in one episode = geek out moments for me.

    It had such potential.

    I am wondering what the whole point of Jor-El's punishment was though, however I don't expect them to explain it since I'm not convinced they know either.

    It was insanely odd.

    I have a question for you though, since I know you read some X-Men along with Superman like I do. What did you think about Messiah Complex? Since Up, Up, and Away, Superman comics have continually dissapointed me, but Messiah Complex was pure awesomeness in my opinion. I truly rejuvinated the X-Franchise in a way it needed, or at least I'm hoping so.

    I read Ultimate, but not the main books. I just haven't found anything in them enjoyable for years. I was reading Astonishing, but it quickly started going nowhere so I dropped it. I don't know anything about Messiah complex, alas.

    I was just curious what your thought's on it were.

    Keep up the good work Neal; I continue to enjoy your writing.


    One more thing, great job on the short story for the Smallville magazine. It was a great read, and really felt like it fit nicely within the continuity. I really thought it was good, hopefully you'll get to do it again soon. Have a great rest of the day. Tonight, we get Black Canary! (Don't know if your looking forward to it, but I love cameos from the DC universe.)

    I can't comment as to why (it's not what one might assume, at all) but I don't have any Smallville fiction coming up. I do have other stuff coming in the mag I can't talk about, though.

    Ann wrote:
    OK Neal,

    I'm writing during this episode because I don't think I can do this later. Ok, since I'm watching it right now, Woo-Hoo Superman finally showed a spine! To Lana, of all people, but Thank Holy B-Jesus he slapped it all back in her face!

    Kinda, but yeah, I hear you.

    And now the stupidity that has become Lois Lane- Good feelings gone.While this pointless scene is on- Bad Point: Clark heading over to the Daily Planet to give Chloe a sandwich she doesn't want- which he didn't register the first 2 times he did that- to yet again pine over Lana, as Allison Mack laughed, walking in front of him- and I don't think that was acting. These scenes between them have become ridiculous;as well as increasingly more insulting to Allison Mack. To add insult to injury Clark doesn't even notice the scrape to her face- He's Superman for God's Sake!!! Supervision, and yet Clarks' insensitivity wins out!

    With you there.

    C'mon da@nit- who the hell is writing this show anyway?!Way too much chemistry being wasted when he finally shows his protective side for Chloe, and then leans in to Oliver, which only opens up another scene for someone to tell Clark to get off his a-- and get off the farm!Of course we have Lois get knocked out, with Canary saying she can't take any more of that- me too. I do not need to hear her whine on and on about how he didn't tell her he was Green Arrow! Here's a tip, don't bring back a leading man who has showed chemistry with the stars' leading lady, when your show is in desperate need to finally only BEGIN to put them together! I'm a fan of the Justice League stories, if this show could flesh it out a little more. I don't care for the Love triangle time filler- which as I watch tonight I am avoiding at all cost. And another scene where Allison Mack drops another couple of cute notes for Tom Welling to bat a curious eye at- only to throw in another lame sidekick line. She should've been his (ATLEAST) transitional girlfriend, not his lame sidekick! What the hell's with the envelope? That reminds me of Byron- yet I think it was from Lex- so what, she's pining for him? I don't really care, but I can't seem to keep up. Lois is a dumb a--!!!!!!

    Yes. And I'm with you, the show needs some kind of chemistry.

    She couldn't divert a 5 year old from the arrow locker- and yet they write her as a fool! And of course the Canary only now looks into what Lex actually was doing, and offers up the line- I don't like to be on the wrong side! Yeah, great research. God she's a moron- I'm back to another Lois scene. I gotta tell ya, I really liked her when she came to the show, and loved the chemistry between her and Clark- which is why I actually returned to the show, for what turned out to be a season 4 that made me want those hours of my life back! (Holy run-on sentences)But still liked the Lois and Clark stuff- only to watch them kill it to reunite Lana and Clark.

    With the little Lois and Clark tease they won't follow up on, of course.

    Now something that truly irks me- they brought back Oliver for an episode that I deem forgettable at best- only to have Lois say she can't live with a Super-Hero;when we all know that the comic went so far as to marry Lois and Clark! And she then tops the scene by committing what I feel is a mortal sin- She quotes Lois Lane from Superman II to say- " I can't share you with the rest of the world", in that annoying tearful way that makes me want to gag. That cheapens such a great scene from Superman. And now Lois and Clark talking about their relationships- with other people! Great to see Lois grieve for Grant BTW- oh yeah wait- this is Smallville. What the hell is the point of this scene? Are Lois and Clark going to kiss, actually make a move here? See some of that wasted chemistry from seasons past?

    It's just to please the fans, not for any real rational reason. We're beyond that now.

    Oh God, I'm gagging- I might die here. Conversation shift- Chloe is blondie- so why doesn't Oliver have a code name on Chloe's phone? Pointless to ask now. And again, Clark has no urge to join the club, and Lana's leaving- didn't see that comin'(sarcasm). Wait, so now it's Three's Company for Lois, Lana and Chloe? Oh wait, she's staying- damn, no forward movement. Bad writing is one way they got there. Ya know my Mom watched Soap Opera's while I was growing up- and I can still feel my ears bleeding from that- Why in the name of God am I sitting through one now?

    Because of the S. It's addicting.

    I must admit, the whole stealing the money admittance, to prove he's not perfect could've been a cool scene for Lana and Clark during Season 5- but at this point I'm sick to death (I mentioned that this could kill me)of them rehashing this. Also, the explanation by Lana, that he's not sure if she's the one he'll end up with- They are trying to make the audience happy by explaining away why Lana and Clark have to break up. We all know they do- so make like a band-aid and rip it off already! Atleast then they could be friends. Although I don't care for Lois anymore-(not a reflection on the actress portraying her, just the bad writing)and it's too late for a Chloe/Clark relationship to ever happen. Final point- Clark is the only person Lana ever really loved. Poor Whitney- sacrificed himself for their future- there goes my theory that Whitney would fill the void for her after what is a long overdue breakup. So this episode- Uuuuuuuuugh. Hope you have better luck than me in rehashing this one. Read ya later Neal- Ann


    Bruce Kanin wrote:


  • Somewhere between a "B" and a "C" ... for Black Canary.


  • The Smallville premier of yet another DC Comics character ... Dinah Lance, AKA Black Canary! However, not the first live TV appearance ever, as the failed ABC-TV show "Birds of Prey" introduced her there, albeit only as Dinah Lance. Canary was portrayed "OK" in the episode - not bad, although she wasn't all that fetching as Canary. I liked her more as Dinah Lance. The "canary cry" was done nicely.
  • The return of Green Arrow! I'm beginning to like Justin Hartley as Oliver Queen, AKA GA. That said, he's nothing like the crusty, bearded and aging hippie in DC Comics.


  • Chloe is a great hacker, but c'mon...she stops a wire transfer? Moreover, she does this by hacking into Dinah's Daily Planet PC? If I were to make a wire transfer, it would have nothing to do with my home - or any - PC of mine - except perhaps the one I was using to initiate the transfer, assuming I even used a PC.
  • Lionel needs Lana's help to get the scoop on Lex? My, how the mighty have fallen. Makes no sense. Yes, Lana has become Oracle, but Lionel should have some semblance of his empire and technical facilities at his disposal. Either that, or he can make use of his omnipotent pal, Jor-El.
  • Lex was all but invisible in this episode. Yes, he had a couple of scenes with Black Canary, including the slo-mo action packed scene where Lex, Canary, Arrow and Clark mix it up. Lex has clearly gone to the dark side, but I still don't know why. He's pure evil for no reason now. He's become a pathetic character, not even someone to be feared. The DC Comics Lex is a dangerous character; Smallville's Lex is sniveling and depressing. And fading from view. A shame, because Michael Rosenbaum's Lex used to be a wonderful character to watch. It's not the actor's fault, either. Blame the writers. Lionel has also fallen from his glorious, evil perch.
  • Is Dinah Lance yet another one from Krypton? She had to be, because her "canary cry" disabled Clark - it even caused him to shed blood from his ears! (EWWW). No, that shouldn't have happened. I could see him being surprised and even momentarily stymied, but not knocked off his feet, with bloody ears.
  • Clark doesn't know Black Canary from a hole in the wall. Yet, he exposes his super-powers to her. Is he an idiot?
  • Lana spent a month with Bizarro-Clark. The guy was identical to Clark in every way. Yes, he was a bit more fun than the real one, but on Earth would Lana even begin to think that Clark wasn't himself? Why wouldn't she be full of euphoria what with Clark showing a little emotion? Why wouldn't she enjoy having a good time with him? So, with all that, why should the real Clark be pissed off with her for reacting this way? Seems normal for her and very unreasonable of him.


  • The sole purpose of this episode was to introduce Black Canary. There was little in it that advanced the overall season or series. Yes, Clark and Lana had a semi-break-up, but not really, at the end. Oliie and Lois broke up, but we knew that wasn't their destiny. So, all we really got was Dinah, which was OK, but in the end, the episode really didn't have much substance.
  • So your significant other says to you, "I think you have doubts about whether I'm 'the one' you want to always be with" and you respond "well, I can't predict future". So, if I responded that way to, say, my wife, I'd end up sleeping in the shed. Had I said that when we were "courting", well, suffice it to say, things would have come to an end quickly. So when Lana expresses her commitment to Clark, but Clark volleys with "I can't predict the future", why didn't Lana storm out to Chloe?
  • Green Arrow's clock tower reminded me of the clock tower from the aforementioned TV series "Birds of Prey".
  • Lex with a gun ... shooting Black Canary? I don't recall the DC Comics version of Luthor with a gun. He'd always have some super-weapon at his disposal, but not a mere gun.
  • Dinah Lance, a self-admitted loner ("not a team player") was awful quick to join Oliver Queen (aww...homage to their comics pairing) and the JLA, presumably, at the end.
  • To me, the whole bit with Lois whining about not being able to keep up with Oliver's two identities - clearly done as a preview of her fated romance with Clark/Superman - was somewhat contrived. It wasn't badly done ... just a bit too obvious. It was nice, though, that Clark was there to lend a shoulder to Lois.
  • Don't people have freakin' locks on their doors?!?!? Anyone can walk into Oliver's place, Lex's place and even Lois's place (Clark does). Lana easily makes her way to Lionel's office.
  • One more thing about these unannounced can see them coming a mile away...and...they all unfold the same way. For instance, when Lana is doing her Oracle impersonation at her computer HQ, the camera has her off to the side, with her front door in the middle of the TV screen. You just know that that door will open, and in will stroll somebody. Same thing when Lana's in Lionel's place ... the focus is on the background where ... voila ... Lionel walks in. Sometimes someone walks in and then a voice from totally out of nowhere suddenly makes a (t)witty comment, e.g., when Black Canary barges in on the Luthor Mansion, and Lex, in his balcony, starts talking to her. Very predictable stuff.
  • Didn't Lex shoot Black Canary, enough for her to fall to the ground? Next thing, she's up and around, seemingly uninjured.


  • Something about Clark being lost in Lex's mind. Ooohh Kay.

    Bruce Kanin

    I liked that episode the first time they did it, when it had the Martian Manhunter. No wait! I didn't like that one. At any rate, you're kinder than I am, but we share most of our sentiments. Good call.

    Rob wrote:
    Dear Neal,


    I didn't hate this episode. This time though, for whatever reason, some of the knockouts were really lame. Falling down is not going to knock someone unconscious, or if it does they have problems.

    They've been knocked out so many times...

    Can Lex Luthor buy himself a video game console or something? Bubble hockey? Ping pong? Sometimes, it seems like pool is the only thing he does in his spare time. No wonder he turned evil.

    Pool is the game Alexander the Great played.

    I was impressed they could remember as far back as when Clark was robbing ATMs.

    They probably just thought they were making it up. Heh.

    There's absolutely NO way that Lana had always thought Clark was the one for her. If she did, she sure showed it weird earlier. Whitney, Adam, Jason, and magnet man seemed to just get in the way, did they?


    I read an interesting interview with Gough somewhere. In the interview, he said that for the first three seasons Smallville wasn't allowed to definitively say that Jor-El had died when Krypton exploded, because at that time it was thought the next Superman movie was the J.J. Abrams script where Kryptonite didn't blow up. So, I guess they left it ambiguous for the earlier seasons. Jor-El's voice could have been speaking from the past or he could have actually been alive. But they weren't allowed to contradict the movie. What do you think of that?

    I think it's categorically insane.

    I hope the series has a season eight.

    I don't know. I don't know.



    Reviewed by: Douglas Trumble

    Before I talk too much about this weeks episode I have to apologize for something that was pointed out to me on the Homepage this week. Seems I had been spelling Bizarro wrong. Going with the double Z instead of the double R. Whoops. Me am sorry.

    Anyway. Onto Siren. Look I am going to be flat out honest from the get go. I loved this episode. Loved it. It was one of the best. Top 10 episodes of the series. No kidding. Sure there were a couple of minor issues but nothing that ruined the greatness that was here.

    I'll just point out the nit picks first. Writers... Directors... Anyone in the Smallville office that will listen to me. Enough with the Clark barges into someone's home/office/condo/bathroom all mad and accusing them of something. It was old two or three seasons ago. Yeah it works with the story since he was upset that Chloe got her clock cleaned but can we just have him go talk to Oliver without busting through the doors and start yelling? Please?

    I am not too bothered by it though. Clark was in a bad mood at the start of this episode but it did make sense. He was still coming to grips with the fact that someone else was living his life. Add to that the fact that the woman he loves did not notice and actually was enjoying herself more with Bizarro than she was with him. I don't know about you but I think I'd be a bit on the pissy side if that happened to me. I was glad to see Clark turn it around though and he did apologize to both Lana and Chloe. Not to Oliver but he did clam up and get on task which was probably the more male bonding type of apology so I thought it worked.

    The other little nit pick was the Lana and Lionel subplot. It served a minor purpose but kind of was a little flat. I'll let it pass since it worked to get Lana and Clark spilling truth to each other but with all the other fantastical goodness in this episode those few scenes just seemed out of place.

    But enough of that. Let's talk about all the little Tweety Birdie goodness. Chloe hit the nail on the head. This version of the Black Canary was just "smoking cool." The costume was fantastic. I loved the feathery mask. The Canary scream effect was very well done. I loved how she could control the frequency and aim it to just affect things like flying arrows without blowing Chloe up who was next to her. Plus darn it... It just looked cool.

    Canary and Green Arrow's first confrontation was pretty cool. Sure some of the effects were certainly "TV grade" but that's ok. I have no problem with that. I'd rather have that then superheroes who don't do super stuff.

    Speaking of super stuff... Wow! There were a couple of pretty cool moments in this one. Sure the Canary scream was cool but that wasn't the only part. When Canary took on the Boy Scout? I was laughing my pocket protector off when she spin kicked him and bounced off. That was a nice touch. Nothing tops that final show down with Lex though. That little brawl was the best fight scene they have had on this show, hands down. The way they did the dramatic pauses, the slow motion bullets and Lex and Arrow slugging it out between weapons fire... SWEET! Then Canary get's involved and all wholly heck breaks loose. SWEET AGAIN! I think it is really cool how they showed Lex basically holding his own against two superheroes. It's not all that often you get to see Lex Luthor in action but I think this shows how dangerous he really is. Black Canary and Green Arrow are taking him on and he did not slow down. Sure he was getting as much as he's giving but if Clark hadn't shown up when he did Lex would have took two heroes out with him.

    And Clark showing up? That was the icing on the cake. The Boy Scout doing his faster than the speeding bullet thing swatting bullet's and arrows out of the air saving everyone... Including Lex? Fantastic! I also loved the second where Clark had to make a choice between stopping the bullet heading for Canary or the knife heading towards Lex. Don't mistake Clark choosing Canary over Lex as reading too much into his feelings for Lex. Canary was already wounded and I have to believe that Clark believed her knife throw was not going for the kill where Lex's shots were. It made sense to choose Canary there. He had already swatted a few arrows that were heading Lex's way so it wasn't like he was just letting him get hurt.

    Well anyway I could gush about that scene over and over again. I loved it. Can you tell? But it's time to move on to other coolness that was found in this episode.

    I thought Alaina Huffman did a fantastic Job in her debut as the Black Canary. It would be nice to have her back in another episode so we can see a bit more of what Dinah is like in her "real life". There just wasn't time in her debut episode since there were ongoing story issues with Green Arrow that needed to be addressed.

    I'd like to get to those Green Arrow issues now. I loved how they wrapped up the Oliver/Lois relationship. I really really did. There was so much goodness in there. The way Lois and he almost get back together only to have Canary spoil the fun. The way Lois finds out he's the Arrow and how she reacts. Plus how she tries to cover it up to Chloe and Clark later. That was amusing to say the least.

    It was great that Lois had the fortitude to call it quits when she knew it was not going to work. She stood up for herself and told him straight up she did not want the long distance romance thing or be in a relationship where the mission comes first. I truly believe this is another sign why it will work with Clark and not with Oliver. Clark can balance family with saving the world. He has the will of steel it takes to make both work. Really he has already been doing it... though at this point of his life his success is somewhat limited. Yet when needed he will go and save the world and then return to his "life". Lois knows now that with Oliver his mission will always come first. We know in the future with Clark she will come first.

    Let me explain that a bit more because I can hear people gathering with the pitch forks and torches. I am not saying he's going to sacrifice the world for Lois. No. What I am talking about is what drives Superman to... well... be Superman. Why is Clark Kent a Superhero? He's not driven by revenge Like Batman, guilt like Spider-Man, a strong need for Justice like Green Arrow. Clark Kent isn't driven to be a hero. He's just deep down a good person who saves people because he can. Like John McClane said. He's "That Guy." If you don't follow me sorry but to sum it up. He saves people because he is the one who can. Not because he feels he has to... but because he can.

    Other heroes are driven by someone outside of them which is why committing to a healthy relationship is so difficult. Clark doesn't have a mission, or some sort of driven compulsion that will be more important in his life than Lois.

    I know some versions of the character focus on Superman having to be alone and not being able to be with anyone but when it comes down to it I don't think those versions work as well. When you start showing Superman as a brooding loner who can't find love, you diminish one of the biggest aspects of the character that separates Superman from all the other Superhero characters. This is why I enjoying the little flashes of this future we were shown in this episode.

    Another thing was look how fast Oliver gave up. Heck even Clark was trying to tell Oliver to give Lois another chance. To giver her some time to come to better grips with him being the Green Arrow but Oliver wanted nothing to do with that. Nope. Time to move on. In his defense though he probably knew it was not right and was not going to put Lois through anymore heart break. Besides he seemed to find a little birdie to latch on to anyway. Something I found amusing.

    You might think I am weird because it was so sad but I think the best part was Clark checking on Lois after the break up. Why? Well I don't know what Erica Durance had for breakfast the morning she filmed her scenes in this episode but whatever it was she needs to eat it every day. Her performance was phenomenal, outstanding, fantastic, or any other word you can think of that means perfectly done. She really hit it out of the park bringing forth emotions that on one hand made you tear up and the other showed you the hope for her future. When she told Clark through her quivering lips that it was all ok because she could just hang out with him I literally broke out in tears. Heck the wife even started crying.

    So that is why I loved that part of this story. There is just so much in there that ties into Clark and the life he will be leading in the future. I was so amazed that in an episode where the Black Canary and Green Arrow were stealing the show we see such a bright glimpse into Clark's future. Nicely done Smallville people!

    Ok... Gush gush gush... So while Clark was using his Super-Barging power again and the Lana/Lionel scenes acted like breaks to the high octane episode, I still found everything about this episode to be a fantastic ride. One of the best. You probably have already guessed how I grade this one. I can't grade this one any less than an A+. Call it 5 out ot 5 little Tweety Birds! Chirp Chirp.

    Next week we get all psychological with Lex. Sounds interesting and maybe a little spooky. You know I will be there.


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