Superman on Television
Legion of Super Heroes: Episode Reviews
Season 2 - Episode 9: "In The Beginning"Reviewed by: Jeffrey Bridges
Rating - 1 (out of 5): This episode is the perfect example of everything that's wrong with this show.
Interesting to note that this is the first episode back after the writer's strike... and there's no "written by" credit. At least I didn't see one. If there is, my Tivo missed it. Maybe that's because it's a Moxi and not a Tivo? I blame Time-Warner Cable.
And to top it off, this may have been the most ineptly written episode of the entire series.
Seems to me some producers thought they could churn one out. And they succeeded... in churning one out. That "one" just happens to be a piece of pure drivel that would only appeal to children under the age of ten, and even then only on the most base level.
In fact, it was probably written by a child under ten, which would explain a whole lot. My guess is some producer or network executive went to their kid who liked the show and told them to write one.
It's the only thing that makes sense.
So to you folks out there who thought "who needs writers?" and "anyone can write!", I submit to you this piece of garbage masquerading as an episode.
I wish I knew who to hold accountable for this, but again, I couldn't find any "written by" credits. The closest was Story Editor Michael Jelenic. So for now, I lay the blame at your feet, Mr. Jelenic.
Although it seems TV.com lists the writer as Steven Melching. Either or. Whoever.
The people responsible for this episode should be ashamed of themselves.
This episode brought us such dialogue gems as:
"Instead of 'Thank you, Mr. Brande', perhaps you should be saying your goodbyes!"
"Here's my doctor's note!" (holds up fist with Legion ring)
"Never send a boy to do a man's job."
"Ah, the ties that bind!" (as Grimbor carries off someone tied up in chains)
"Get out of here, it's a trap!"
"Appearances can be deceiving."
"Destroy them!" ("destroy"? not "kill" or "attack" or "stop"?)
"Back for more?"
"Just like old times!"
"There's too many of them!"
Even ONE of those in an episode would be too much. They're unoriginal, uninspired, insipid and boring. Trite clichés, just what everyone wants in their dialogue!
Not to mention young Lightning Lad makes up a name for himself, and he picks "Charles Boogerjuice."
CHARLES BOOGERJUICE, people.
I think I'm going to start signing all my reviews that way.
And now let's examine some of the finer story points, no doubt also put together by someone who thinks hiring temps to do your writing is an acceptable solution.
First of all, I don't know how many more times I'm going to have to say this...
BOUNCING BOY IS THE LEADER OF THE LEGION.
Yes, Cosmic Boy is the traditional leader. I know that. But this show elected Bouncing Boy to be the leader in a previous episode. Since then it's been forgotten, ignored, pushed to the side and now flat-out contradicted.
Cosmic Boy says HE'S the leader. He and Lightning Lad fight about that, and how much Garth thinks he'd be better for the job.
If you can't even remember who's the leader of the team you're writing about, you should immediately be fired and perhaps beaten with noodles.
We have a contrived flashback ("Well Superman, you may be wondering why they behave this way! Let me tell you how they met!") and a MONTAGE, of all things (for those not in the know, they're the saddest, laziest most pathetic excuses for writing ever).
And it gets worse, because the montage is narrated by Brainiac 5... and he tells us exactly what we're seeing!
Cue Lightning Lad overloading a door security panel, and Brainy says, "Lightning Lad's electrical powers came in handy."
GEE, YOU THINK? We know because we JUST SAW HIM USE THEM!
There's also things that make no sense whatsoever, like Cosmic Boy being easily defeated by Grimbor.
Grimbor, who's main weapons are chains.
Cosmic Boy's powers are magnetic.
There's also other issues like... the young Lightning Lad, Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl find Mr. Brande and tell him Doyle is the one trying to kill him, and he just instantly believes them despite absolutely no evidence whatsoever except them seeing an empty conference room.
Or when the three founders are trying to take out the devices making the black hole and say that there's "too many of them", Cosmic Boy says, and I quote:
"Not if we make them work for us."
You might be wondering just how they did that. Well, dear readers, so does Mr. Boogerjuice, because all they proceeded to do was... blow them all up! Clearly proving that there weren't too many of them and not at all making any of them "work for them".
The only redeeming things about this episode were the classic Legion costumes being seen in part of the flashback, which was a very nice touch, and the fact that the actor who played Grimbor and R. J. Brande is named Lex Lang. That, as a Superman fan, is pretty cool.
Yeah. The best thing about this episode was the name of one of the voice actors.
Someone should be fired over this episode. It was that bad.
Until next time, dear readers, this is Charles Boogerjuice* signing off.
* - That's MR. Boogerjuice to you!
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