JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time DVD
Get ready for a battle of the ages when the Justice League faces off against its archenemies, the Legion of Doom, in an all-new movie from DC Comics.
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Cover date: December 24, 2008
Main Story: "In the Longago"
Main Writers: Kurt Busiek
Main Pencillers: Mark Bagley
Main Inker: Art Thibert
Back-Up Story: "This is What We Need to Know"
Back-Up Story Writer: Kurt Busiek and Fabian Nicieza
Back-Up Story Penciller: Mike Norton
Back-Up Story Inker: Ande Parks
They cross a field of skulls, filled with skulls from the battles Krona made them fight.
The patriarch then explains that Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman appeared when Krona left and made things better.
To be continued...
Brainiac reveals the Space Ranger among a cadre of villains in Norway. Ranger escapes and alerts the JSI. A hidden voice assures the cadre of villains that all will be well.
The Atom, however, is still in the cave. Morgan Le Fay, revealed to be the voice, explains her plan to remake the world. Brainiac indicates that he has long theorized a correlation between Tarot cards and their like and power.
They reveal that all of the villains will take the part of Tarot card symbols.
At the JSI headquarters Carter Hall reveals that he too is putting hero figures into Tarot card configurations. Charity shows up to help.
To be continued...
Main Story - 1: A creation story featuring Krona, a story we've seen multiple times before, featuring a rather indistinct blue species of forgettable alien types. Despite having read the last few issues, and closely, I'm unsure if we're on the main earth or on an alternate Earth (IE, have the mains walked through a Stephen King Thinny, or what?), or what the point of the pilgrimage is if they could just tell them that the heroes replaced Krona and where to go. I realize even more that the last time we saw the three REAL mains of this story despite the fact that they're IN THE TITLE, was "In the longago".
So Krona was the shaper of the universe, and the big three replaced him somehow, and no one knows they exist?
Alfred all of a sudden knows of the Cosmic Egg somehow? WHAT? What is that?
This comic book should be called "Sigh." Sigh Cubed, if you'd like to keep up the thematic.
Blue aliens who toil endlessly for no reward for an evil god? Yeah, that makes sense. It's hard enough to comprehend working for a benevolent god in a world like ours, much less one who craps in your hat and calls you worthless. It's kind of like being a fan of DC when they put this $%#@ out and expect you to have paid 90 bucks for it (before tax) by now.
And to those of you still reading, I ask, has it been worth ninety bucks to you?
Main Art - 3: Despite the rather boring subjects presented, the art was pretty clean in most respects. The creation story was a bit stock, and a lot of things just plain suffered from being typical and lame. It's hard to blame the artist, and yet, at the same time, the art could be incredible while the story sucks, and Bagley has done it many times in this series before. Here, it's just an average book in most respects.
Back-Up Story - 1: All I really need to do to 1 this is put "Brainiac the Hermit" as a phrase. Really. It's that easy.
Not only is it functionally ridiculous, it's suggesting that the ultimate piece of technology is represented by a figure who resents and flees technology at all costs.
But beyond that, the fact that Brainiac considers Tarot cards scientific and that he has long theorized their analogues to be powerful, and that he is intrigued by the abstract concept of "CREATION ENERGY" is pretty much a flat-out insanity. It's like watching the film Expelled in terms of seeking logic and cohesion. Honestly, it is.
Brainiac notices Space Ranger (we'll get back to that) but not Atom? Because Space Ranger has concealment technology and Atom... doesn't? And that makes sense... how?
The big baddies of the DCU are gathered in one place and given a tantalizing offer... be tarot cards, and let others remake the world and control it! A sure bet offer for megalomaniacs to instantly accept! I want power... ergo I want a subservient position in a universe that will be revoked! Good logic.
And to make my final point, I could also one this entire plot with two words: "Space Ranger."
Space Ranger. Seriously. A character named Space Ranger. Who commits his fab future tech to "a solar intensity THERMO HELM-BLAST!" Who suspects the Cheetah and his "intraspatial linear field" disagree.
Good god. This is... have you ever seen an old person watch rap music and try and get it? That's like me watching this and trying to enjoy it. "Eh? Why is he saying he's "tripping?" He seems to be walking straight! Oh, I wet myself!"
Back-Up Art - 2: Not horrible, but early 90s enough to be a little less enjoyable than your average book. Brainiac looks pretty good, but most of the rest of the characters look like they come from the same world as Space Ranger, which is great if you're reading something that is homaging or satirizing that era, not so good if you're supposed to be reading a modern comic.
Cover Art - 1: Not something we see in the story, kind of irrelevant and odd, nothing to do with Wonder Woman, and without the other two images a bit too abbreviated.
Main Story - 1: Alfred somehow knows who Krona is, and that he and his friends are on the world born of the Cosmic Egg. WITH NO WAY AT ALL TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF IT, he "just knows it".
How convenient. If only I "just knew" this was being written by a golden retriever, but alas I don't have that knowledge. Won't some nice writer drop it into my brain totally unjustified?
And I may be wrong here, and this book is such tiresome tripe I can't be bothered to go back and check, but when the "purple people" were first found didn't Alfred say they were in Rhode Island or something? By the cave the JLA used to use?
Funny how now it's suddenly a world created by the "cosmic egg", which also has the same geography as earth? What?
Let's not even talk about the primary-colored Trinity ghosts that showed up to save the cosmic egg purple people via no explanation whatsoever.
...okay, the fact I just had to write the preceding sentence is evidence enough this book is nothing but a pile of nonsense with no character or story whatsoever.
Main Art - 3: Oh boy, purple people.
Back-Up Story - 1: "A solar intensity thermal helm-blast should gain me the time I need."
Welcome to the comics of 1942, folks.
Back-Up Art - 3: Oh boy, people standing around.
Cover Art - 2: Point the phallic object right toward Wonder Woman's nether region?
Main Story - 1: How convenient that being in the cosmic egg makes the Forgetful Supporting Characters just know that they're in the egg - and about Krona.
Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman seem to be in eggland too. Or, at least they were at some point in time. Who even cares?
Main Art - 5: Shiny Trinity. Pretty.
Back-Up Story - 2: Supervillains team up to match up to a tarot deck so the superheroes decide to do the same. I know it's a woman's perogative to change her mind but Morgaine's plan, so simple in the beginning, is getting out of hand. When it comes to cards, Morgaine would be better off folding than bluffing because nobody's buying it - or the series come to think of it.
Back-Up Art - 3: There's nothing wrong with the art but words come to mind like 'average' and 'serviceable'. Nothing popped off the page at me.
Cover Art - 3: Oh no! Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman all on the same cover of an issue of "Trinity" - well, their statues at least. It's unheard of. And dull following the triptych cover of giant marble statues of each of them a while back on three "Trinity" covers.
Check out the Comic Index Lists for the complete list of Superman-related comics published in 2009.