Mild Mannered Reviews - Regular Superman Comics

Adventures of Superman #582

Adventures of Superman #582

Scheduled to arrive in stores: July 12, 2000

Cover date: September 2000

2000 Shield No. 35

Writer: J. M. DeMatteis
Penciller: Mike Miller
Inker: Jose Marzan Jr.

"Crazy About You"

Reviewed by: Nick Newman (

In Metropolis, a small imp runs through the streets, before getting flattened by a falling safe.

In a temple across town, Matrix sits praying. Before her, she sees an image of Superman asking for help. Her shriek brings the priest (Perry) running. He arrives to find Matrix hovering in the air, flaming wings bursting from her back. He attempts to pull her down, but is easily thrown off. Distraught, he calls for an exorcism.

Outside of Arkham, Superman breaks free again. He leaps from building to building, vowing that he won't be taken back again. Suddenly, a helicopter appears in the sky above him, someone within calling his name. He jumps into the chopper to find Lois Lane waiting for him. She flies him back to a secret bunker where she shows him to a bed and an exhausted Superman lies down. As Lois leaves the room, she activates an electric field, trapping Superman in. She tells her doctors to begin examining him. His screams worry her, but she doesn't stop them.

On the moon, the J.L.A. argue about Superman and Bizarro. When Bizarro returns, he declares that him and Scorch are to go after Superman. The two leave the Watchtower.

On Earth, Jimmy Olsen visits a science exhibit. Suddenly, The Flab (Flash) and The Turtle break through a wall. As the two wrestle, The Turtle bites Jimmy's hand. Feeling weird, Jimmy leaves the room and walks outside. Suddenly, he doubles over in pain and is transformed into the giant turtle boy.

In the temple, Uncle Oswald comes into the room to purify Matrix. He dons a mask of Alfred E. Neumann and sprays Matrix with seltzer water. Her wings expand in shock and Matrix burns a hole through the roof, flying away.

In the underground bunker, Lois is shocked to see that Bizarro is headed their way. She deactivates the field and lets Superman go. Before he leaves, Superman embraces Lois and kisses her deeply. She spins away, hand to her eyes.

Outside, Bizarro knocks down Superman as Scorch forms a wall of fire around them. Bizarro batters our hero around, until Superman fights back. Taking a deep breath, Kal extinguishes the flames and flinging Scorch far away. In a sudden moment of strength, Superman knocks Bizarro into orbit. He leaps away, but then falls to the ground weakened. He looks up to see Supergirl, clad in white robes, hovering above him. She begins to tell him that they can fix the world, when Jimmy steps on her. He then picks Superman up by the cape, and proceeds to eat him.

In her bunker, Lois watches Superman's demise and begins to cry, and then looks up when she hears someone screaming.... 4Story - 4: This was pretty good. The mystery deepens as we see more of the Superman characters in this strange world. Plus, it was entertaining to see some of the off-the-wall stuff, like the dish and the spoon riding on the flying cow. This story is exciting because it is so irrational.

3Art - 3: The art was pretty good, Mike Miller isn't bad. His Supes looks good, and the other characters look good as well. No complaints really, just good art.

5Cover Art - 5: Ed is god, that's about all. It's about time that we saw his Supergirl. And the playing card covers are really cool and really bring the whole story arc together. Good stuff.

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Note: Month dates are from the issue covers, not the actual date when the comic was on sale.

January 2000

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